My First Vacation
by RazorCardz01
Summary: Aizen decides to give the Espada a week off in the Human World. Unfortunately, a near death experience prevents them from traveling back to Hueco Mundo. Now they must learn to live like mortals until they can find a way back home.
1. The Proposal

**Summary: Aizen decides to give the Espada a week off in the Human World. Unfortunately for them, a near death experience prevents them from traveling back to Hueco Mundo. Now they must learn to live like mortals until they can find a way back home.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach**

**CH 1: The Proposal**

It was a slow day in Hueco Mundo, the Espada having gathered in the meeting hall. Around the elongated table, many of the members were busy trying to occupy themselves while waiting for Aizen to arrive. Noritora was spacing out, Stark was taking a midday nap and Grimmjow was looking as pissed as ever. Ulquiorra sighed in undeniable boredom as he turned the page of a book he had been reading since that morning, So, on instinct, Grimmjow took this moment of vulnerability to throw a crumpled up piece of paper at his forehead. As expected, Ulquiorra dodged the flying object gracefully, his eyes never leaving his book. He frowned at his failed attempt at self humor.

"You know you're never gonna get a reaction out of him, Grimmjow" Noritora smirked, leaning back in his chair with his hands behind his head. "He's like jell-o."

"You know that doesn't make sense" Halibel muttered, raising an eyebrow. Noritora brushed her off.

"That's not the issue here." he sat forward, his forearms resting on the table with balled up fists. "Grimmjow's been trying for the past 36 days to get Ulquiorra to get scared. So far, the poor bastard's failed. It's like watching a baby trying to survive on its own."

"The only bastard here is you, Noritora" Grimmjow shot back, crumpling up another piece of paper.

"You're so childish, Grimmjow." Aporro muttered, adjusting his glasses.

"Tch, like I care." With that, Grimmjow positioned the paper in between himself and Ulquiorra, flicking it forcefully towards the other's eye. Unfortunately and expectedly, his attempt failed when the recyclable object stopped in mid flight and fell strait down on the table. "What the hell?" Grimmjow said, mildly surprised at the sudden stop.

"Enough, Grimmjow..." The group turned to the all too familiar voice, watching as Aizen took his seat at the end of the table. On either side of him stood Gin and Tousen. Grimmjow took a moment to glare at the two before redirecting his attention to Aizen. "The meeting today is very important and we must not get behind schedule." Already bored and somewhat pissed, Grimmjow cradled his head in his hand, elbow on the table. Ignoring the Espada, Aizen cleared his throat. "However, I do believe it is time for tea." As if on cue, a woman in a modified Espada uniform entered the Meeting Hall, a tray in her hands. This particular tray held 6 tea cups; another woman entered with an identical tray with only 5 tea cups and the steaming tea kettle. One by one, the servants brought one tea filled tea cup to each Espada, all plain looking compared to Aizen's. He was, after all, the boss and as such he deserved the best.

Grimmjow stared down at his serving, but didn't move to drink it; instead he sat somewhat impatiently, praying for the meeting to end as soon as possible. It was, for a lack of a batter word, boring.

"Has everyone received their tea?" Aizen asked humbly, receiving 10 nods. "Very good. Now we can begin. Aporro, do you have the up-to-date information on Kurosaki Ichigo's current position?" Aporro nodded, taking a sip of his tea before answering.

"The boy is currently 161 kilometers ahead from his last position as of today."

"Where are his friends?"

"They have appeared to have split up, perhaps to cover more ground. The group closest to us consist of the Quincy, the Mutt and of course, the Shinigami."

"I see..." Aizen paused for a minute. "Clever, but sometimes fatal. Where is the threat?" Aporro took this moment to allow a small grin graze across his face.

"As of now, there is not immediate threat. The Shinigami is too far from us to cause any real harm for another week, according to the Human World calender."

"Ha! What at shame." Noritora exclaimed, flashing his white teeth. "I was highly anticipating the boy's arrival. It's a damn shame."

"Regardless, this time allows for more preparation." Halibel said. "The farther ahead we are from the Shinigami and his friends, the better our chances of wearing him down quickly."

"We've been doing that for a hell of a long time now!" Grimmjow interrupted, glaring at Halibel. "Aporro says there is no threat, so why not make ourselves more noticeable while we still have the chance? I'm tired of just sitting here and watching that son of a bitch raid Hueco Mundo."

"Watch your temper, Grimmjow." Tousen muttered, his head turned toward the one in question. "Aizen-sama has not ordered an attack as of yet. Immediate and ruthless action would make room for a fluke, should we not be careful." Disgruntled, Grimmjow sat back in his seat, arms crossed firmly across his chest. Noritora gave a small giggle, rubbing salt in the wounds. Still, Grimmjow was able to ignore it, waiting for the rest of the meeting to pick up again.

"I can only conclude we are not threatened, as of yet..." Aizen began again. "Good, that's very good..." he fell silent for a few minutes, the Espada waiting to see if he would say anything else. Or at least dismiss them. As slightly expected, he continued. "It seems the time is right to give you all what you so thoroughly deserve..." Halibel raised an eyebrow.

"And...what is that?" She received a casual laugh, Aizen sitting back in his chair, his hands loosely gripping the chair's arms. Sighing , he looked at her thoughtfully.

"I believe, it is time you all went on vacation." The stunned silence that followed couldn't be more than predictable. Each of the Espada, save for Stark who had dozed off moments before, stared blankly at their leader. No one moved, no one made a sound. All of them stared hard into Aizen's face, trying to find the joke. Instead, they could only see a well placed Poker face. After a few more agonizing seconds, the silence was finally broken.

"Are you high?!"

"Grimmjow, that's no way to speak to Aizen-sama." Tousen scolded, though he shared the same confusion as everyone else. Even Gin had been taken aback, his Cheshire smile fading ever so slightly.

"I think what Grimmjow is trying to get at is..." Ulquiorra said quietly. "Why come to this conclusion?"

"Tradition." Aizen said simply. "Whether you feel over worked or not, breaks like this are not always available. Think of it as a vacation."

"Why would I want to hang around here and do nothing for an entire week?" Noritora asked. "It'd be boring."

"I didn't say it was to be in Hueco Mundo..." Aizen answered slyly. "I'm going to send all of you to The Human World. I know how much some of you have wanted souvenirs there for a while, so instead of just having all of you destroy the merchandise..." He eyed Grimmjow for a split second before redirecting his attention to the rest. "I'm sending you there for a vacation. To see, instead of destroy."

"Won't we need gigai?" Yami asked.

"The hell is a gigai?" Noritora retorted, scrunching up his face from how unpleasant the word sounded.

"A faux body that allows Shinigami to remain in the Human World for an extended period of time." Aizen informed. "Without them, they could not travel freely in the Human World and not be detected. Fortunately, I was able to render the standard Shinigami gigai and make one Espada gigai for each of you." He stood up, turning to Gin and Tousen. "I have made one for each you as well."

"But..." Gin said, frowning completely. "What about Las Noches? We can't just leave it unguarded."

"We have to prepare for our absence." Tousen added. Aizen scoffed, brushing their comments aside.

"I am the leader of this Organization, aren't I? I can very well manage our stronghold without you. Especially if there is no threat." All the while, a few more Fracción had entered the room, each pair toting along a hospital bed with a body. "Ah, the gigai have finally arrived." Aizen said, gleaming as each of the bodies were placed beside specific Espada. Their reactions were, to say the least, interesting.

"Holy shit, it looks exactly like me!" Grimmjow exclaimed, staring down at his gigai. Remaining unresponsive, it allowed itself to be poked and prodded by the Espada.

"How interesting..." Aporro muttered, looking over his own.

"Are you sure this is mine?" Noritora asked bitterly, realizing how short his gigai was compared to himself. Yami seemed equally concerned, his own gigai's physical stature much more toned down.

"Your gigai and you share similar features." Aizen explained. "However, there are major differences. They have been tailored to resemble, if not closely, a normal human being. Because of some abnormal physical characteristics some of you have, your gigai will have reduced versions of those traits. Your masks are gone, along with your openings. Your Numbers will remain, to ensure you do not forget your ranks and I will have Gin and Tousen escort you so you do not get lost."

"So we can't use our powers?" Grimmjow asked, slightly disappointed. Aizen shook his head, earning a group sigh.

"While in this gigai, you will have all of your supernatural powers disabled and you will be just like everyone else. That way, no unnecessary deaths can occur."

"What if we are threatened?" Ulquiorra asked, peering at his gigai; the smallest out of the bunch. "How can we fight if we are restrained in the gigai?"

"The gigai are not permanent. You are able to enter and exit them at your free will, though it may be a bit difficult at first. Just because you can separate from them though, it does not mean you can abandon it; wear it at all times and only leave the gigai in extreme cases." The Espada nodded, though one question still remained.

"Uh, how do we enter?"

**Short ending, but it'll pick up again in the second chapter. In the mean time, please read and review. Thank you much!**


	2. The First Day

**CH 2: The First Day**

"God damn this gigai is tight! I can hardly move!"

"Just be glad it still looks like you, Grimmjow."

"What are you talking about Noritora? I think your gigai matches you perfectly, save for the height difference. But then again, I wouldn't find a 10 foot man walking down the street normal."

"I didn't ask for your opinion Halibel." She pressed her lips together tightly, putting a few inches in between herself and Noritora. The three in question had put on their gigai, with great difficulty nonetheless and had traveled through a well concealed and undetectable Garganta to the Human World. But because they were well tucked into their gigai, only Aizen could open it for them. The other Espada had traveled through earlier before and were waiting for the remaining five; Grimmjow, Noritora, Halibel, Tousen and a rather interesting last minute addition.

"Why the hell did you bring Wonderweiss?!" Grimmjow growled, turning away from the two. Tousen scowled at him, his newly acquired walking stick held firmly out in front of him.

"He needs the company, Grimmjow." His other arm was being used as a guide for the blonde Arrancar who held on to him firmly. From the beginning he realized he was much more aware of his surroundings than any normal blind man. So aids such as his white and red walking stick seemed useless, but Aizen insisted he use it anyway; it was part of the norm. Aizen had also suggested for Wonderweiss to tag along, because of his inevitable destruction of Las Noches if left alone. Besides, Aizen had pointed out, Wonderweiss needed to bond with the other Espada.

So, here he was, in a gigai of a 10 year old and clinging to a blind man who was strangely leading a group consisting of a punk, an anorexic man and a woman who had an amazing boob job. Grimmjow was convinced this was as normal as they would get.

"I think that's them." Halibel said suddenly, pointing to a group of people standing by a train station.

"HEY!" Grimmjow called out to the group, hands around his mouth to carry out his already loud voice. "DO WE KNOW YOU GUYS?!" Noritora rolled his eyes.

"Is that really necessary?" he muttered. Grimmjow glared at him, then turned back to the group to see if they would respond. Sure enough, one of the others turned to them and shouted back in the same fashion as Grimmjow.

"NO SHIT SHIRLOCK!" Noritora couldn't help but laugh at Grimmjow, his face turning red from the insult. To deal with the problem, Grimmjow charged at the other group, his eyes on the respondent.

"I'm gonna kill you!!" He yelled, fly tackling the other man. The two fell to the ground, Grimmjow gaining the upper hand in control. Noting this, he began to punch the other man in the face, missing every other punch. "Say that again you flamboyant piece of-"

"Grimmjow, get off of Aporro." In mid punch, Grimmjow's arm was stopped by a larger hand on his forearm. Looking over his shoulder, he could see a well built man trying to get him off the other. "Aizen-sama doesn't want any unnecessary deaths, don't you remember?"

"With that in mind, I'd like for you to get off of me; I can't breathe with your heavy weight on my chest." Aporro added calmly, readjusting his glasses over his slightly bruised face. Growling, Grimmjow did as he was told, throwing Aporro the dirtiest look he could muster.

"Looks like we're all here then." Gin interrupted, acknowledging the other four in Grimmjow's group. He lingered on Wonderweiss however, noting the sudden addition. The younger one simply looked up at him, only looking away when a butterfly caught his attention.

"What do we do now, then?" Yami asked.

"Aizen-sama informed us that he will provide for our basic needs as humans. He also gave us all a communication system back to Las Noches, should we need anything more." Tousen dug into his pants pocket, pulling out a square shaped phone, the keypad mirroring that of a computer keyboard.

"So, is that like the phone the Shinigami use for Soul Society?" Halibel asked.

"Yes; that was what it was modeled after."

"So it's an ePhone?" Noritora asked.

"...what's an ePhone?" Aporro asked back.

"You know, Espada Phone. To say that it's ours."

"I guess that makes sense..." Gin muttered. "But anyway, I suppose our first order of business is to find our living space."

"Do we have to live together?" Grimmjow whined. "I'm sick of half of you guys already."

"Aizen only gave us one place to live" Halibel said. "I thought that would be a given."

"But then again, if we do split up, we have more freedom." Noritora added, getting a frown from the Espada. "Besides, we have the ePhones. We can just ask Aizen for another place." Some of the other Espada began to consider it, though others thought differently.

"If we split up, there will be little to no communication between the Espada." Ulquiorra pointed out. "If any of you were paying attention, this was the exact route the Shinigami had taken with his friends."

"So just because a brat does the same thing, it's automatically deemed negative?" Grimmjow asked, a little more than frustrated. Ulquiorra nodded.

"That is, of course, if you can convince me otherwise." Huffing, Grimmjow pushed his way into the middle of the group, raising his hand.

"Fine, we'll vote on it then. All in favor of splitting up, raise your hand."

"We're not school children..." Noritora said flatly, but raised his hand nonetheless. A few others had raised their hands, Grimmjow grinning from the number. After getting the votes for the opposition, he compared the two.

"Well?" Aporro asked. "What're we doing?" Grimmjow furrowed his brow, thinking over the results, then resorting to counting it out on his fingers. After a few more reassurance drills, he answered the question.

"It's a tie."

"What the hell?!" Noritora exclaimed. "There's thirteen of us here! You can't get a tie out of thirteen people!"

"You can if one of them didn't vote." Halibel said, folding her arms across her chest. In unison, the group looked down upon the tie-breaker.

"Wonderweiss." The Arrancar looked up at his name, his mouth open in obliviousness. Frantic, Grimmjow knelt before him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him lightly.

"Listen to me Wonderweiss, listen very carefully. I need you to decide how we're gonna travel around here. But there is only one right answer, okay? If you pick the right one, then I'll get you something really nice and shiny. Understand?"

"Wa..." Grimmjow raised an eyebrow. "Ha...wa..."

"Just forget it Grimmjow" Aporro said. "Wonderweiss doesn't know what you're talking about. His vote in invalid."

"So what do you suggest we do?" Grimmjow shot back. "We can't vote again because it'll just be the same thing."

"How about a rock paper scissors tournament between Tousen and Gin?" Yami suggested. "They are on opposite sides after all." Grimmjow straitened up, raising an eyebrow.

"That's such a dumb idea."

**.:10 Minutes Later:.**

"That was an awesome idea."

"That's not what you said ten minutes ago, you know." Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"I picked an Espada to be on my team, not a stenographer." The one in question sighed, preoccupying themselves with the room. After the short tournament, it was decided that the Espada would be split up; 7 on one team and 6 on the other. Grimmjow's group consisted of Tousen, Noritora, Aporro, Halibel, Ulquiorra and Wonderweiss. The latter was a forced option because the groups leader was Tousen, the only person Wonderweiss wanted to be around. Gin's group had then decided to take the first house Aizen provided for them, to make up for their loss. So, Tousen sent a message back to Aizen and asked for another place for them to stay.

"You know..." Aporro muttered sometime later, taking a seat on his assigned bed. "I kinda wish we got the mansion. You could fit a laboratory in there if you wanted too..."

"Yeah well, tough luck. You asked for this and now you have it so stop bitchin', alright?"

"Why do you have to be so vulgar?"

"Why do you have to be so needy?"

"Uh, guys?" Halibel interrupted the fight in progress, inviting herself in the shared room. "Aizen just sent us some extra cash. If you come into the living room, you can get a share." As soon as the words left her mouth, the two Espada dashed through the door and into the living room, where Ulquiorra was busy separating a pile of money into smaller sections. He looked up at their arrival.

"You came for your share?" He asked. The two nodded. "Very well. Each pile consists of 50000 Yen. You may only take one pile."

"Why can't we take more?" Grimmjow asked. "The crap they sell around here is expensive."

"It's for two days." Ulquiorra informed. "Every other day, the same amount will be given to you."

"So it's a salary..." Aporro muttered, taking one pile of paper bills and shoving them into his pocket. "Are we restricted?"

"No, you're free to spend it on whatever you want."

"HELL YEAH!" Grimmjow exclaimed, grabbing a pile and running out the front door. The other Espada looked back at him, the front door swinging crookedly open from the sudden abuse.

"Does he even know how to get back to the house?" Noritora asked a moment later. Ulquiorra shrugged, then went back to separating the money for the remaining Espada in their group. They were currently off to retrieve the food Aizen had sent them that was supposed to last the first two days.

"Should he get lost though, he has his cellphone." He paused before adding, "Well...at least I think he does...Halibel?" She grinned ever so slightly, taking a seat next to him on the couch.

"It must have slipped my mind."

**Yay! Chapter 2 is done!! Please review!! I love you all!!!**


	3. Man's Best Friend

**Bah, I never really liked Nnoitra's name. It sounds ...weird. My sister and I call him Noritora, which was why I used that spelling in the first two chapters...but I got busted. XD So from now on I'm gonna call him by his real name. Unless any of you have any objections.**

**CH 3: Man's Best Friend**

It had been a few hours after Grimmjow had finally completed his shopping spree. Among the purchased items were gum packs, a rubric's cube, a cat calender, ramune and a pair of kitty PJ's. He was able to fit all of his items in one shopping back, slinging it over his shoulder during his trip back home. Unfortunately, because he never took the time to map out the city in his head, he had become thoroughly lost. But because he was stubborn, he would not admit it; he had an image to uphold, damnit and he would not back down now. Even after running into unsuspecting pedestrians.

"Hey! Watch your step you little turd!" he said rather loudly, shoving a boy he had run into to the side.

"Screw you grandpa!" the boy retorted, stalking off. Ignoring the boy's comment, he continued down the sidewalk. The cement pathway was crowded until he had finished his spree. Now it was just him and a few people, most of them walking in the opposite direction. A few had passed a few odd glances at him, Grimmjow returning with the dirtiest look he could muster. At one point however, he had become too preoccupied with his glaring skills to notice the man running right into him. Colliding, Grimmjow took a step back, watching the man stumble slightly before regaining his footing.

"Watch where you're going!" Grimmjow growled, grabbing the man by his collar and bringing them face to face. "Do you wanna get killed?!" He glared at the short man, but immediately noticed something odd about the man that he had seen before.

"I'm sorry about that." The man said calmly, despite the blunt fact that an ill tempered man was close to gutting him. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, he reached up, his hand hovering about for a few minutes, before finally finding Grimmjow's shoulder and patting it lightly. "I hope you'll forgive me, I'm not in the best of health to notice..." Grimmjow blinked, slowly dropping the man back onto his feet. The two stood there for a few seconds, the Espada looking over the man; he wore a brown suit, black shoes and a pair of sunglasses. Next to him, a dog sat and wagged it's tail, waiting for it's master's next move. Grimmjow interrupted the process by waving his hand in front of the man's face. The man didn't move.

"You can't see me, can you?" Grimmjow asked. The man smiled.

"No, sir, I'm blind."

**.:12345678910JQK:.**

"Did you find him yet?" Aporro asked, his phone held up by his ear loosely. The receiver replied just as dryly.

"Not yet. But we did find some books on human behavior in their Library. They should become useful in the future." Ulquiorra held no emphasis in his tone. Aporro readjusted the phone on his ear. He sighed heavily.

"Fine. But if you don't find him in the next hour, come back. We're kinda having trouble with the kitchenware." He looked off into the kitchen, the white room having been occupied by Tousen and Nnoitra for the past 2 ½ hours. So far, the only thing to come out of the kitchen was heavy black smoke. Aporro was certain the smoke detectors were going to be destroyed from this type of abuse. He frowned, his stomach reminding him of their failure and lack of production.

"Understood. We will return when time permits." Ulquiorra hung up, Aporro dropping his phone next to him on the couch. Looking over to the TV, he watched as Wonderweiss struggled to crush to death a fly on the large screen. Sensing his bored stare, the Arrancar turned to him, his mouth open as usual.

"Wah...?" Aporro raised an eyebrow, swinging his arm from his stomach to the edge of the couch, his knuckles brushing against the floor. The staring contest was held for another long and uneventful 5 seconds.

"Can't you go find something better to do with yourself?" Aporro asked him, his attention turned back to his cell phone's tiny screen. Opening the address book, he began to punch in random ten digit numbers and save them. Wonderweiss seemed to think about the question for a good .04 seconds before returning back to his previous activity. Or at least he was until a flickering light bulb caught his attention. Finishing his address book with the number "110", Aporro put down his phone, listening to the screams of terror come from the smoke filled kitchen. He looked up to the ceiling for guidance, any kind of guidance at all. Expectedly, he found nothing more than dried plaster in the form of popcorn type layers. The Espada frowned.

"God damn you Grimmjow..."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

It had been 20 minutes since Grimmjow had run into a young man. He had threatened to kill him and the man had made peaceful attempts at stopping the potential illegal violence. Now he was quietly having tea with him, in the process learning that the man was blind. Slouching over the small two person table, Grimmjow took a small sip of his tea. The stuff tasted horrible, but he didn't want to offend the man. He was blind, but Grimmjow felt like the man knew his every move. It almost scared the Espada. Staring at the contents of his cup, he started their next conversation.

"Why?"

"Why, what?" the man asked back, showing some kind of patience towards Grimmjow's rather vague questions.

"Why are you blind? Did you do something wrong?" The man seemed to think about it for a few minutes before finally shrugging.

"I don't know. I was born this way, so it wasn't something I did to myself. That's just life. Sometimes you get things you want and sometimes you don't."

"Can't you change it?"

"A human being cannot change what Fate bestows on them." Grimmjow nodded, not really understanding the information, but accepting it nonetheless. Taking another sip of his tea, he redirected the conversation towards the dog that lay by the blind mans side.

"So what's with the dog?"

"He's my seeing eye dog." The man informed, bending over to pet the animal. "He helps me get around whenever I go out. Otherwise, I'd be putting myself in danger of getting killed."

"How is that?"

"Well, I wouldn't know if I'm crossing the street at the right time, if the sidewalk has any construction I should, stay out of, if I'm going in the right direction; it's all those kinds of things that Cinnamon here helps me avoid." He groped around for his tea, picking it up after a few seconds of searching and drank humbly. Grimmjow stared down at the dog, furrowing his brow. How come Tousen never had a seeing eye dog? He was blind too, wasn't he?

"Where do you get them?"

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"We already looked here." Halibel groaned, checking the new watch she had bought moments before. Next to her, Ulquiorra shrugged, his hands busy with a few shopping bags.

"I know. But another quick look couldn't hurt. We still have another 21 minutes before Aporro wants us back home." Halibel sighed, but accepted the proposal. Her frown vanished however, when she spotted a small window display of expensive looking jeans. She held out an arm to stop Ulquiorra from walking on, pointing towards the display.

"Don't those pants look cute Ulquiorra?" He stared at the clothing, his face unchanged.

"They seem to be directed towards trashy women. You don't deserve to wear them." Halibel frowned, giving Ulquiorra a short glare before walking on with him.

"I didn't say I wanted to wear them. I just wanted your opinion on them."

"Then my statement still stands." The two fell silent, soon finding themselves in an open cafeteria. The area was not very crowded, so the two found a nice table to sit at away from any eavesdroppers. It was then that Halibel decided to continue the conversation.

"You know, even in the gigai, you're still so grumpy and unmoving."

"Do you find my attitude to be of a problem to you?" Halibel sat back in her chair, flashing a quick apologetic smile.

"No, it's not that. It's just, you're not working anymore. You should at least loosen up a bit while you have the chance. I mean, don't you think the humans will find it weird?" Ulquiorra laced his fingers on the table delicately, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side.

"Find what weird?"

"That a kid is grumpy all the time." Ulquiorra pressed his lips together, forming a thin line on his face.

"I don't live to impress those that are lower than myself. It would be a waste of energy and time."

"Well then I can see why Aizen-sama chose that particular gigai for you; it's like the epitome of utter blandness."

"I've actually grown quite fond of the pocket chains." Halibel grinned, leaning over the table. Lifting a thin hand, she poked the smaller Espada's cheek. He didn't move.

"At least you still have your tattoo's. You're beanie also makes a lovely compensation for your missing skull."

"I suppose so..." He pushed her hand away, watching as she sat herself back down in her chair. She pointed towards her chest, Ulquiorra's eyes still firmly on her face.

"I mean look at me; I'm 3 cup sizes smaller and I got nothin' to compensate. It's rather depressing." They fell quiet, Ulquiorra trying to think of a response. After some unknown amount of time, he gave his fellow Espada an answer.

"You have a rather stunning face."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Hey you, how much for the dog?" The tall man answered the aggressive call, his attention forced on an oddly dressed man, his long finger pointing to a cage. He adjusted his glasses before answering.

"90000 Yen."

"What the hell?! That's a rip off!!" Grimmjow yelled, his expression growing angry. The worker shrugged.

"Look, I don't decide how much to sells these dogs for, I just run the cash register, okay?" Grimmjow rolled his eyes, but dug into his pocket anyway. Walking up to the counter, he slammed down the coin onto the table.

"There's you're money you greedy bastard. Now give me the dog and I'll be on my way. My blind friend can't wait forever." The cashier picked up the coin, examining it before dropping it back down on the counter.

"Sir, this is a 500 Yen coin. You need 90000 for the dog."

"But that's all I have!"

"That's not enough. I'm sorry, but I can't give you the animal until the amount of money stated has been paid." Grimmjow growled at the teen worker, but received no response. Leaning over the counter, he pressed his face forcefully on the other, his teeth barred.

"Listen you little shit, if I don't get this dog, I'm going to thrust my hand so far through your abdomen, my fingers will stick out through your shattered spine, causing you to become a quadriplegic for the rest of your miserable days. Understand?" The worker, stared at him, raising an eyebrow at the painful description.

"You do realize, I can report you for harassment, right?" Grimmjow jumped back, bringing a fist beside his ear.

"REPORT THIS!" He yelled before bringing his fist forward, smashing it against the man's cheek. Letting out a harsh cry, he fell to the ground, the impact completely shattering his glasses and sending the pieces flying to the floor. Onlookers watched in horror as the worker fell to the ground unconscious, the fresh open wound on his face bleed profusely. Adrenaline pumping through him, he ran over, ripped open the dog's cage, grabbed the dog and ran out of the little store. He didn't stop running until he had reached the doorstep of the house. Wondering for a split second how he had managed to reach his home in record time, he focused all of his energy into a powerful kick to the door. Instantly the door was blown off its hinges and into the home, stopped only by the unprotected body of Wonderweiss.

"What the hell?!" Aporro exclaimed, looking from the remains of the door to Grimmjow and the dog at his side. "Grimmjow, we kinda need that door! Don't go kicking it in the house!"

"Look I got a dog!" He said happily, ignoring the Scientist and pointing at the clearly frightened pet. It had, after all, experienced Mach 15 travel moments before. "I named him Grimm."

"You...got a dog?" Nnoitra asked, coming out of the kitchen with Tousen. "Oh dear, shall I call the fire brigade?" Grimmjow scowled at him.

"No, but you can stop being retarded. We only need one Wonderweiss in the house, thank you very much."

"Grimmjow..." Tousen said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"...Why did you get a dog?"

"For you, duh. All the blind people have them. Which reminds me, where are the others?"

"I'll get them..." Aporro mumbled, flipping open his phone. Sourly, he began dialing.

**Yay! Chapter 3 is done! Please read and review! I love you all!!**


	4. My Neighbor Grimmjow Part 1

**CH 4: My Neighbor Grimmjow Part 1**

"So, let me get this strait; you spent all of your money on useless gifts, you ran into a blind man, you almost killed the blind man, you had tea with him, he told you where to get the dog-"

"His name is Grimm."

"Right, whatever. So, he tells you where to get Grimm, the cashier refused to give you the beast for 500 Yen, you punched him in the face and you resorted to stealing the dog and taking him back home to the house where you, stupidly, kicked down the only door that's actually important. Is that right?"

"That's my afternoon in a nutshell, yeah." Aporro stared at Grimmjow, his arms folded across his chest.

"Uh huh. Might I also remind you that you gave Wonderweiss a concussion."

"It's not like it made a difference in how he usually acts. If you ask me, the retard is better off that way anyways." The lower Espada sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"As much as I would love to agree with you, that's not the point here. You can't hurt Wonderweiss or any other Espada while on this trip. Do I have to remind you of Aizen-sama's words?" Grimmjow stood up from his seat on the couch, glaring at Aporro.

"Don't bother. You're not my mother and I'm not that stupid."

"You're stupid enough to expose the living room to the outside world." Nnoitra chimed in happily. Ever since Grimmjow's unexpected entrance, the Kitchen Espada had been demoted to Door Espada, busying themselves with the hole in the wall where the front door once stood. They had contacted Aizen moments before to ask for a replacement, but he had been strangely unavailable, so Ulquiorra was forced to leave a message. Now the Espada, along with his female partner, were busy trying to use the thoroughly burnt kitchen to make that night's dinner.

"Anyway" Grimmjow growled. "I think Grimm makes for a very nice addition to the family. I mean, how can you deny a home to that kind of face?"

"But what are we supposed to do with him?" Tousen asked. "The animal will only cause multiple distractions throughout our time in the Human World."

"Oh really? Like what?" Tousen stood silently for a minute, trying to think of an answer. Unable to come up with anything, he sighed. Grimmjow grinned. "See? I told you he-"

"The dog needs a water and food bowl, he needs to be taken out to use the bathroom, he needs to be groomed every day and he needs a bath every other week." Ulquiorra interrupted, slinking out of the kitchen. He had a large yellow bowl in his hands, mixing its contents with a spatula. "The dog will also need a few toys to enjoy while alone in the house."

"Who says we're leaving him alone?" Grimmjow shot back.

"You can't be serious Grimmjow" Aporro groaned. "There's no way we're taking that dog on every single trip out in the city."

"You should give the dog back." Tousen concluded. "I don't need it and I'm most certain you won't take care of it all on your own."

"No!" Grimmjow cried out, grabbing the Scottish Terrier and hugging it in a death grip. "I'll take good care of Little Grimm!"

"Yeah and we're all part of a fixed plot." Nnoitra snorted. "That's impossible. You don't have the attention span, nor the skills to take care of a lesser being. Just look at Di Roy and Shawlong." Grimmjow was about to give Nnoitra another piece of his mind when a tiny knock was heard on the part of the wall that was still standing. Looking up, Grimmjow immediately smiled.

"Hey, it's you!" he greeted the blind man, rushing up to him to shake his hand.

"Indeed." The man smiled, dropping his arm down to side after the Espada let go of him.

"What do you want?" Nnoitra sneered. "We're kinda busy here." The man nodded apologetically.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you but I believe I have a few purchased items my friend had left behind. I just came by to return it to him and I'll be on my way." Groping around, he reached down to take the plastic bag his dog had securely in his mouth. Lifting it up, he gave another smile.

"Oh yeah" Grimmjow said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "That stuff. I almost forgot about that. Thanks Blind Guy." Stepping over Nnoitra, Grimmjow took the bag from the man.

"My name is Marcus, by the way. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"Eh, don't sweat it man. You're only human."

"I know." The two went quiet long enough to tick Nnoitra off.

"Well now that we all know each other can you leave? Your blind ass is in the way of barrier reconstruction." He picked up a hammer and threatened to stub the man's toe so that it resembled 4 of the lanky Espada's fingers. Tousen scolded him by tossing a few nails into his long black hair. Marcus took a few steps backward.

"I'll be on my way then. I hope to see you around soon sir." Grimmjow frowned, hoping to correct the vague name.

"My name's Grimmjow Jea-" Unfortunately he was cut off when Ulquiorra appeared beside him and elbowed him in the stomach with light effort. With the wind knocked out of him, he fell on his knees, one arm around his stomach. He looked up at Ulquiorra, the dirty apron still wrapped around his bony waist. "What the-?!"

"His name is Jacques." Ulquiorra informed the waiting man.

"Oh." Marcus said, tilting his head to the side in thought. "Jacques, eh? Is he European?"

"Quite."

"Which part, if I may ask. For as long as I have spoken to him, I found no accent in his tone of voice..." Ulquiorra stood silently, his face unreadable. Then, ever so slowly, he looked to Aporro who had been lounging on the couch the entire time. At first the two stared at each other, but after a gleam of something or other was seen in the depressingly dressed Espada, Aporro took his cue.

"Oh, uh...he's...Hungarian..."

"...with a French father and Greek mother." Tousen added for effect. "All three accents cancel each other out; therefore he is monotone to some degree." Marcus nodded accepting the information.

"I see...well, then I hope to see you soon Jacques." Giving the group a friendly wave, Marcus traveled back out to the Human World, oblivious to the fact that he had just conversed with a handful of killers that were part of a larger, eviler organization located somewhere in another, far off dimension where travel was only made through a large and very distasteful looking esophagus.

So, to keep that very blunt fact a well kept secret, Grimmjow smiled and waved goodbye to his departing friend. Or in Nnoitra's words, torture victim.

"So, how'd you get him to obey you like that?" Nnoitra asked, standing up to his full height of 6'5". Somehow, in the pit of his queasy stomach, Grimmjow was intimidated. "Probably wasn't that hard, seeing as he couldn't see in the first place." Grimmjow scowled, inconspicuously taking a fighting stance.

"I didn't do anythin' to him. He and I are pals out of pure human emotion."

"What emotion? You're an Espada; the Sixth to be exact. We don't have time to feel those filthy mind wasters the humans so greatly rely on."

"Don't patronize me..." Grimmjow muttered.

"Well someone has to keep reminding you of your place in this Gosh Forsaken city."

"Who says I keep forgettin'?!"

"I do you dumbass."

"Well then like Hell I'm forgetful! You're the one who looks like you have a fetish with your clothes lookin' like eating utensils!"

"You're the one that keeps vaporizing them with your reiatsu whenever you touch that Ichigo bastard!"

"Regardless." Aporro butted in, staring up at the ceiling. "We're all still fish out of water and we need to adapt as soon as possible."

"Who says we haven't adapted yet?" Grimm asked defiantly, crossing his arms across his chest. "I think I've adapted quite well here." As if on cue, Aporro and Nnoitra both stared at the Espada, raising very concerned eyebrows.

"You're joking, right?"

Halibel chose this moment to speak. "Sorry to interrupt the light chit chat but" she said, he head poking out from the kitchen door. "Dinner's ready."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"You sure you're okay, Ishida? It still looks pretty painful."

"I'm fine. It's nothing a few painkillers and some ice couldn't handle." Ichigo Kurosaki looked on in concern at his friend's swollen face. Apparently the Quincy had been attacked at work by a dog napper and was knocked unconscious after the very quick fight. When police questioned him, he was unable to give a full description of the clearly distraught man and only hoped his memory would return soon so that justice would be served.

"How is my young and virgin son enjoying his slumber party?"

Tonight though, was not the night.

"Dad! Cut it out with the slumber party crap! Only girls have slumber parties!" The Shinigami's father blinked, frowning ever so slightly. He stood in doorway of the room, displaying a very well pulled off Superman pose. In mere seconds however, he assumed the role of a ship's captain, putting the side of his hand too his forehead to block out the invisible sun's rays and searched the room. Ichigo was not impressed.

"Oh? Well then what would you call this testosterone soaked meeting?"

"It's a sleepover. With men. A man-over." His dad laughed heartily.

"Well then, I hope you enjoy your man-over. Just don't get carried away; you're sister's are just next door. I don't want them to experience the wonders of life before their time."

"SHUT UP DAD!" Ichigo had made for his dad's head with a pillow, but only managed to hit the closing door. Outside, the two could hear the man's maniacal laughter echo throughout the halls. No doubt, Ishida became a little spooked.

"Is he always like that?" He asked Ichigo quietly. He received a shrug.

"Yeah, but I'm used to it; hell, you'll get used to it too by the end of the night."

"Really?"

"Yup." Ishida nodded, not quite understanding, but nodded nonetheless." Oh and by the way, tomorrow I wanna go visit my new neighbors. I was hoping you'd come with me to see them."

"New neighbors?" Ishida raised an eyebrow. "When did that happen?"

"Yesterday. They're quiet so I think they're really nice. Who knows, maybe we'll all become friends." Ishida leaned back on his hands, staring at Ichigo from across the heated table.

"Did you forget our mission?" He asked flatly. Ichigo rolled his eyes at him.

"No, I did not forget our mission. But I already told you; we're only staying here for a week. We need to replenish our strength before we fight the Espada bastards. I'm not Superman you know."

"Well then can you refrain from making friends in this time period? It's already hard enough to convince you to even get up from the floor to go to school, let alone make you go back to Hueco Mundo." Ichigo waved a hand in Ishida's face, blowing him off.

"Fine. Then I guess I'll just stop by to say hi to them. No conversation, no exchange of information. That good enough for you?"

Ishida nodded in approval. He liked being in control.

**So, this was supposed to be longer but I didn't have the brain power to make it that way XD So I split it up into two parts. Chapter 4, part 2 coming soon. In the mean time, please read and review!**


	5. My Neighbor Grimmjow Part 2

**CH 5: My Neighbor Grimmjow Part 2**

After several hours of hard labor, Halibel and Ulquiorra were able to cook up a decent dinner for the group. As each of the Espada sat down at the dinner table, their plates were being filled with meat, rice, guacamole, salsa and a pair of tortillas. As if their meal couldn't be Hispanic enough, their Horchata filled cups were decorated with sombreros and their utensils resembled Spanish instruments. In particular, their spoons were in the shape of castanets. After serving everyone Ulquiorra and Halibel sat down in their spots and began to eat. At first the meal was quiet, until Grimmjow decided to express himself.

Again.

"Where the hell did you buy all this stuff?" he asked, eying his tambourine shaped plate.

"Aizen-sama provided them." Ulquiorra said quietly, cutting his meat into equal squares.

"Something about keeping a theme" Halibel added. Muttering something about salty tortillas, Grimmjow was about to take a bite out of his food when something scratched at his leg. Looking down, he saw Grimm standing up on his hind legs, begging for food.

"Oh, you're hungry?" Grimmjow asked, receiving a whimper as a response. "Okay, here's some food for you." Taking a scoop of his guacamole, he dropped it on the ground next to the dog, watching as Grimm went strait for it and began to eat. Tousen frowned.

"Why are you feeding that dog, Grimmjow?"

"Because he was hungry?" the Espada answered. "How would you like it if I ate in front of you when you were hungry?"

"So you're saying you didn't bother to pick up some Dog Food when you kidnapped the animal?" Nnoitra asked, pointing his fork at Grimmjow. "Some pet owner you are..."

"Hey! The woman is still alive isn't she?!" He shot back, balling up his hands into fists. "You can't tell me I don't take care of pets!"

"I can tell you whatever the hell I want! I'm still going to be better than you no matter what anyone here says, _Sexta Espada_!" Determined to rip off the grin on Nnoitra's face, Grimmjow grabbed his fork and lunged at the other Espada. Nnoitra made to move, but was inevitably fly tackled, both men falling to the ground in a tangled mess.

"Get off of me you freak!" Nnoitra yelled, finding himself pinned to the ground underneath the fork wielding Grimmjow. The other responded by attempting to stab his face, stopped only by Nnoitra's hand clamped around his wrist and held firmly between them.

"Then take it back!" Grimmjow growled, trying with all of his reduced strength to at least graze Nnoitra's face.

"How about the both of you get up and eat like normal people!?" Aporro added over their shouts. "We kind of need to blend in with the rest of society ad your rough housing isn't helping!" He frowned when he remained ignored.

"Leave them be" Tousen sighed, eating the last of his meat. "Their own childish behavior will resolve the problem." Aporro raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know?"

"OW, THAT WAS MY FACE YOU _ASSHAT_!"

"...I just do."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Aporro?"

"..."

"Aporro?"

"...huh?" Grimmjow shifted in his crisp PJ's, unsure of how to start his inquiry, now that he had the scientists attention. He glanced at his gigai that sat at the end of his bed, trying to think. Because they were not active at night, their gigai's would be taken off and discarded until needed. Or at least that was what they were supposed to do; as far as Grimmjow knew, Ulquiorra slept in his, claiming he wanted to get used to the feeling. Grimmjow rolled his eyes, returning to the situation at hand and forgetting about the slightly off Quatra Espada.

"Can I...sleep with you?" There was a pause before Aporro turned, trying to find Grimmjow's sitting form in the dark.

"...why?"

"I don't like sleeping by myself."

"That's kind of the reason why we're bunking, Grimmjow..."

"But I like to sleep close to people." Aporro raised an eyebrow, a long silence following right after. When he finally deemed it necessary, Aporro flopped back down on his bed, turning away from the distraught Espada.

"You're delusional Grimmjow. Go back to bed." Grimmjow frowned. Getting up from his bed, he stood next to Aporro's, poking him viciously in the side to regain his attention. The man flinched, turning back to give a tired glare. Grimmjow ignored it and pressed the issue.

"I'm not delusional. It's a simple request."

"Are you even listening to yourself? You asking me to sleep with you in the same bed when I don't even like you enough to share the same house with you without killing something every hour."

"...So are you gonna scoot over or what? I wanna get some sleep." Aporro was about to answer before an approaching Grimmjow shut him up instantly. Quietly pulling back the covers, Grimmjow slipped in next to the startled scientist, fluffing up the only other pillow and claiming it as his own. Aporro, suddenly uncomfortable with body heat, tried to create as much distance from himself and the now sleeping man as possible, only to be stopped by the wall behind him. Cursing himself for picking the only bed next to a wall in the entire house, he tried to settle in bed once more. This task proved difficult when almost every part of his body came in contact with Grimmjow and making him shiver. For what reason, he did not know exactly. He would, however, research possible theories when morning came.

Right now he had to ignore the arm snaking its way around his abdomen.

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

Morning came without a hitch, the bright sunlight pouring through closed curtains. Birds outside had awoken, their chirping stirring those still in Dreamland. The morning dew clung to anything with a surface, it's exterior glistening from every possible hint of light. Clouds in the sky moved as the cool wind of the day brisked by, their travel smooth and uninterrupted. It certainly was a wonderful morning, any mortal being with a heart and soul realizing it's splendor. There was one soul however, that couldn't experience the morning with their senses painfully literally.

"Grimmjow! Get off of me I can't breathe!" Aporro struggled, having been awoken abruptly from a dream when his airway was cut off by a 110 pound cat nestled comfortably on his face. Struggling for another few seconds, he managed to pull his head from underneath the slumbering Espada, glaring at him for a few seconds before sitting up in bed.

"You, of all people, I have to bunk with..." he mumbled tiredly, getting up wearily to look for his gigai. He honestly felt it didn't make a difference to his appearance; he still had his short cut hair, his glasses and his physique. The only difference was probably the color of his hair, which was a mahogany color on his gigai and his skin had a slight tan. Of course his clothes were different, but he wasn't quite used to them yet. Aizen-sama had supplied him with baggy jeans, brown sneakers and an assortment of t-shirts and jackets. His favorite was a t-shirt that had a cartoon cow on the front, "Moo!" written in big, bold childish handwriting at the top. He had also been supplied with a watch and wristband, the Espada insignia imprinted in the center. He had yet to figure out what exactly the symbol pictured. Still, he shrugged it off, entered his gigai and headed down to the kitchen for breakfast. Not to his surprise, he was stopped.

"Wa...?" Wonderweiss awed, blocking his path down the stairs. He lay sprawled all over the floor, half of his head a face concealed by carefully placed bandages. Matching the blood stains, was his long red t-shirt and dark brown khakis. His platinum blonde hair poked out from underneath the bandages, falling over his face and covering some of his freckles. He wore white tennis shoes, one resting at the bottom of the steps. He too wore the Espada wristband, the color of the band the only difference; Yellow, compared to Aporro's pink one. Unamused, Aporro stopped in front of his, folding his arms across his chest.

"Do you mind? I'm kind of hungry and need to get downstairs." Wonderweiss didn't budge, instead shifting positions rather slowly. Sighing heavily, he stepped over the absent-minded Arrancar, holding onto the rail in case someone tried pushing him to his death. Incidents like that were common among the Espada and no one denied it; they just wouldn't admit who was behind what. Reaching the kitchen safely, he opened the fridge and began digging through the produce.

"You snore in your sleep." Turning around quickly, he came face to face with Grimmjow, watching in horror as he ate a banana.

"How the hell did you get down here so quickly?!" Aporro asked, thoroughly astonished. "And how did you do it without blowing something up?!" Grimmjow shrugged, chewing and swallowing his food quietly before giving a real answer.

"That's life for you. Anyway, you need to get something for that snoring of yours; I could hardly sleep last night and had to sit on your face to shut you up. By the way, that kind of sleeping position does wonders to you; thank Aizen for cats and weird awkward sleeping positions." Aporro frowned.

"You know, you could have just slept in someone else's room."

"They're all full."

"Nnoitra has an extra bed."

"He smells funky at night."

"Well anything is better than having you sit on my face and almost suffocate me in my sleep." Grimmjow stood up and stretched out, leaving the banana peel on the table. His stretching lifted his t-shirt enough to expose his hole-less stomach and the blue boxers sticking out from underneath his ripped baggy pants. Over his shirt he wore an open jacket, mirroring his Espada uniform top. His eye markings were gone, but his blue hair made up for the loss.

"Whatever dude. I'm going to go lounge in the living room with Tousen." He walked passed Aporro, entering the occupied living room.

"Grimmjow!" He turned at the calling, preparing to answer back when something yellow caught his eye. Tousen stood by the little yellow puddle, Grimm in his arms happily.

"What are you doing with the dog?" Grimmjow asked. He pointed towards the puddle. "And why is there piss on the floor? Did you miss the toilet again?"

"You forgot to take the dog out to use the toilet last night." Tousen answered flatly. "Since you kidnapped him, you have to clean up his messes." Grimmjow rolled his eyes, ignoring the command and instead took a spot on the couch.

"I'll clean it up later."

"That was not a request Grimmjow."

"I didn't say I wasn't going to clean it up, I said I was going to do it at a later time!" He shot back defensively. Tousen shook his head, sighing. Putting down the dog, he retreated back into his room, dragging Wonderweiss along with him who had, during the conversation, melted down the stairs.

Settling into the couch, Grimmjow picked up the remote, turned on the television and began to flip through the 1000 channels. He had never watched television before, let alone have complete control over the remote, so at the moment he was happy.

"Aren't you going to pick a channel?" Aporro asked, seating himself beside the Espada with a cup of steaming tea in his hand. Grimmjow shrugged, continuing to abuse the channel button. Subconsciously, he began to mutter under his breath.

"Boring...boring...stupid...fake...anime...news...boring...retarded..."

"You are very indecisive, Grimmjow..." Ulquiorra muttered, slinking into the living room moments later. He held a similar cup to Aporro's, the Green Tea aroma oozing from the top. The white cup blended nicely with the Espada's clothing, the entire outfit consisting of the colors green, black and white. He wore a black and white striped t-shirt, a pair of black ripped pants and sneakers the humans called Vans. His shoes were checkered black and green, the soles white. His pants were decorated with many chains, the silver matching his lip piercing. He sported a green Espada wristband along with a spiked bracelet on the other arm and black thin hair with green tips. His facial features remained the same, only this time the markings were made up of face paint. To complete the look, his fingernails were painted an alternating black and green. The Sexta Espada growled, turning to him.

"Why are you all so keen on pointing out my individuality?!"

"Because it's annoying." Aporro supplied, sipping his tea. "So, are you gonna pick a channel or what? The good programs are almost over." Grimmjow stood up, gripping the remote harshly before flinging it at Aporro's pink head. The distances was mere inches, yet when Grimmjow released the mechanical device, it's trip stopped short when an invisible force paused it in mid-flight. Grimmjow watched in horror as the remote became suspended in midair for a split second before dropping down on the couch with a dull thump.

"What the-?!" Questioning the Laws of Gravity, the group almost didn't hear the knock on the front door, signaling a visitor.

"You should probably get that" Aporro said, eying Grimmjow. "It'll get your mind off this incident." Muttering something about the world coming to an end, Grimmjow grudgingly stood up and headed for the door. Grasping the handle, he opened the door.

"What do you-" He stopped mid sentence, his already horrified expression growing worse by the second.

"Hi!" The visitor said cheerily. "My name's Kurosaki...Ichi...go..." The two stared hard at each other, neither breathing. "Wait...aren't you..." This wasn't good; the Espada may have been in a gigai, but even a retard could recognize him as one of the bad guys. Grimmjow tensed, preparing to beat the bleach haired boy into the ground when a finger was shoved into his face.

"You!" Ishida growled, suddenly making himself noticed from beside Ichigo. Redirecting his attention, Grimmjow mirrored the boy's actions.

"You!" he yelled louder, his finger pressing against Ishida's nose. The Shinigami blinked, his current train of thought interrupted. He looked from his friend to the Espada and back.

"Uh, do you two already know each other?" Grimmjow was about to correct him when Ishida interjected.

"Ichigo, this is the bastard who pun-" His sentence was cut off when Grimmjow placed a hand over his mouth, gripping the boy's arms behind his back. He gave Ichigo a fake smile.

"Excuse us for a second." Picking up the struggling Quincy, he brought him inside the house and into a corner. Setting him down, he turned the boy towards him, digging in his pocket for something. "Look kid, we can all walk away from this is you just play along." He pulled out a few coins he had found earlier that day in the couch and showed them to Ishida. "This here's hush money okay? So just keep your mouth shut and nothing bad will happen."

"Why should I even listen to you?!" Ishida hissed, his voice low. "You're a criminal for stealing that dog!" He pointed towards the animal that sat by their feet, it's tail waging happily. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'll give you the dog back but you have to stay quiet. I don't want your friend to know who I am or my affiliations."

"What, are you part of some cult that steals dogs for fun?"

"I'm not part of any cult!" Aporro stared at the two whispering in the corner of the house, staying silent for a few minutes before speaking.

"Jacques, who's that?" He asked flatly. Instantly, Grimmjow turned to him, clearly angry.

"Shut up! I got this under control!" He turned back to Ishida. "Look, here's the deal: I'll give you the dog back, but you have to help me with your friend okay? I have specific reasons why he shouldn't think I'm a bad guy at this moment in time. I'll even give you this money here, right now."

"Fine. What do you want?"

"Well since he already thinks we know each other, lets pretend to be friends."

"For how long?"

"A week."

"Are you crazy?!"

"Do you want the dog back or not?!" Ishida glared at him, but nodded. "Then it's a deal."The two shook hands before walking back to the front door together. Ichigo stood there, clearly at a loss. Ishida cleared his throat before explaining.

"Uh, Ichigo, this is my friend...Jacques. He's an out of town friend of mine and he came with his family and friends for a week. I didn't tell you because I didn't know." Ichigo stared at Grimmjow, raising an eyebrow.

"Really? I didn't know that..."

"Me either" Ishida said, shrugging.

"What kind of family are you with, Jacques?"

"We are distant cousins." Grimmjow jumped at Ulquiorra's sudden presence beside him. "It is rare we ever travel together." Ichigo smiled, extending his hand towards the short Espada.

"Oh, hi. I'm Kurosaki Ichigo." He said. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Greetings." Ulquiorra said calmly, shaking the Shinigami's hand softly. "My name is L. Kiora." Ichigo smiled again, interrupted by Ishida's loud cough.

"We should probably go, Ichigo. They probably still have a lot of unpacking to finish." He looked at Grimmjow. "Don't forget, I'm gonna come by later to pick up that thing." Grimmjow nodded, casting a quick sad glance at the dog before looking back at the two teens.

"Well it was very nice to meet you. I hope to see you all around soon, okay?" Ichigo concluded, he and the Quincy leaving their doorstep.

"Let's hope it's not too soon." Grimmjow said quietly, joining Ulquiorra in waving good-bye. When they were finally gone, Ulquiorra shut the door softly, resuming his seat on the couch. Aporro looked up at them from his magazine.

"So how was it, Jacques?" He asked. Grimmjow flopped down on the couch between the two, laying back roughly.

"It was the most horrific thing you could possibly imagine."

"You mean besides living with you?" Nnoitra interrupted, emerging from his room. Because of his height, he was forced to bend down when going through doorways, but he didn't seem to mind. Straitening back up, he revealed his simple apparel; A white t-shirt, light brown cargo pants and black sneakers. His shirt had a low cut collar, revealing most of his bony, pale neck. His eye patch was gone, replaced by long black hair covering the eye in question. His mouth was still of an abnormal size, but not to it's original extent. He bore a white Espada wristband, his fingernails painted black to match. "What the hell were you all talking about? I can hear you from miles away."

"Jack-o here made a new friend." Aporro answered, smiling. Nnoitra placed his hands on his bony hips, raising an eyebrow.

"Really? Should I run for my life then?" Grimmjow looked up at him, growling.

"No, but you can help me learn new bribery tactics."

**...Sorry. I'd blame school but that's already a given. Please don't kill me yet. You still need to read and review! 8D**


	6. Mr Lonely

**Feel the irony of the chapter number and title.**

**CH 6: Mr. Lonely**

Two days had passed by in the household with nothing of importance happening. The Espada had adjusted quite well to human life, each creating a personal schedule; Aporro would eat breakfast then sit in front of the television for two hours, Grimmjow would mourn the loss of Grimm by sulking in the corners of the house, Nnoitra would stare at the previously described Espada before insulting him in any way possible and Wonderweiss would...well, be Wonderweiss.

Despite these constant occurrences however, the remaining Espada seemed more concerned with other things. As an example, Aizen had not returned any of Ulquiorra's calls, nor had he given them any incentive that he was still alive. That morning, Ulquiorra left his 12th voice mail.

"Nothing?" Halibel asked, watching the Quatra Espada close his sleek, black flip phone. He shook his head, replacing the phone in his pocket.

"I don't understand why Aizen-sama isn't answering. Our supplies are still coming in, but he has failed to keep in touch." He turned to her, his face almost reflecting worry. "Perhaps we should leave early and go back to Las Noches."

"What's this about leaving early?" Tousen interrupted, joining the two at the kitchen table. Halibel sighed, pushing her long blonde hair behind her ears.

"Aizen-sama isn't answering his communication device. Ulquiorra and I are concerned."

"Have you tried calling the other group?" Tousen suggested. "Perhaps Aizen-sama has been contacting them." Ulquiorra nodded in agreement, taking out his phone once more and dialed Gin's number. Holding the phone up to his ear, he waited for the ringing to stop.

"...Hello?"

"Gin, it's Ulquiorra."

"Oh, hey there! Whatcha up to, seeing as we haven't talked in a while."

"Aizen-sama has not kept in touch with our group." Ulquiorra could feel the man frown on the other side.

"Oh? Well that's no good."

"Indeed. Do you know why?" There was a pause, Gin muttering to himself in thought. Halibel nudged him in the arm, asking him to put the phone on speaker. He did so as Gin returned with an answer.

"Nope, can't say that I do. I'll let ya'll know when he calls us though."

"Has he called you before?" Halibel asked.

"Nope. Don't sweat it though; he's probably busy with God stuff. You know how he is, always has to be better than everyone else at all times. It's a curse." Ulquiorra nodded, despite the visual barrier.

"Very well. Should he not be reached within the next day or so however, I will request immediate action."

"Uh-huh. Well, thanks for the call anyways. It's always nice talkin' to someone else besides Yami for a change."

"Shall we exchange partners then?" Tousen asked. "I'm growing rather bored of Nnoitra..." Gin gave a sharp laugh.

"Not on your life. See ya!" Ulquiorra closed the phone when the dial tone resumed. He sighed, looking at the other two. They fell silent for a few minutes.

"I'm quite concerned..." the Espada muttered, looking down at the table. "However, I do believe we have other worries to attend to..." Simultaneously, the three turned towards the living room, their eyes locked on the thin body that lay in the corner next to the television. The depressed Espada faced away from them, his body in a tight fetal position. Even with Wonderweiss poking him, Grimmjow did not move. Halibel shook her head sadly.

"Look at him; he can't move. He can't even talk. Ever since he gave that dog away, he just kinda lays there. It's pretty sad."

"Do you think he'll get over it someday?" Tousen asked. The other two shrugged.

"If he does, it'll be a miracle."

**-Earlier that Week-**

It was a bright morning; the sun was shining, the birds were singing. Flowers were in bloom and the bee's pollinated them happily. But despite this calm demeanor, it foreshadowed a horrific event that would take place later that afternoon.

Ishida was scheduled to pick up Grimm.

No one was certain when he was to arrive, but after some snooping done by Aporro, it was believed he would come by around 5 PM; the hour the Quincy's first shift was over. He would then have a dinner break for one hour before returning for wok until 9 PM. It was an odd schedule for someone who manned the cash register at a Pet Store, but no one questioned his lifestyle and life went on. Well, for most people anyway.

"I can't believe he's taking Grimm back!" Grimmjow complained for the 5th time that morning. "I love Grimm with all my heart!" Nnoitra looked up at the distressed Espada from his seat on the couch. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Grimmjow, it's been one day and you already bonded with that thing?" Grimmjow folded his arms across his chest. He was careful not to hit Grimm who was lounging inside the Espada's Hollow hole. Grimmjow had been so concerned that morning, he had forgotten to enter his gigai. Grimm did not mind though, because it meant he got free rides around the house.

"Yes, I already bonded with him. It's called communication skills, which you clearly do not posses." Nnoitra scowled, turning back to the television.

"Whatever. You're still going to have to give it back." Grimmjow sat next to him carefully, laying his head back to look up at the ceiling.

"What if I don't want to give him back?"

"Tough shit. We all gotta do things we don't want." The two fell silent for a few minutes, interrupted only when Aporro joined them on the couch, tea in hand.

"What are you doing?" Aporro asked them innocently, sipping his tea. Grimmjow groaned loudly. Aporro raised a confused eyebrow.

"What?"

"He doesn't want to give away the dog." Nnoitra translated, watching the television while he flipped through the channels.

"Can't I just kill the damn kid?" Grimmjow asked. "It's not like he owns Grimm."

"No but the company he works for owns the dog and if you don't give it back, he'll press charges on you and then what will tell Aizen-sama when we need money to bail you out of jail?" He paused. "Killing him is out of the question. You just have to give the dog back." Grimmjow groaned again, louder than before and started to kick his feet in a tantrum.

"Why don't you spend time with the dog then?" Nnoitra suggested. "It's better than having you waste space here."

"You need the exercise too." Aporro added. "Your gigai is starting to get fat." Slowly, Grimmjow stood back up, made sure Grimm was still in his Hollow hole, and trotted off to his room.

"I'll get dressed then..." he muttered, closing the door softly behind him.

About an hour later, Grimmjow found himself in his gigai, the dog in the crook of his arm. The two stood in the food court of a near by mall. Taking a deep breath, Grimmjow smiled.

"Well, we have the whole afternoon to ourselves Grimm." The dog barked in response. "That's right. But regardless, we should spend it as happily together as we can. What do you wanna do first?"

"Woof!"

"Good choice." So the two ran off into the vicinity, the entire afternoon ahead of them. They began by going to the movies and watching the animated feature, "Lady and the Tramp" subtitled in Japanese. In the middle of the movie however, Grimmjow began to throw popcorn at the screen because his two favorite identical characters were not getting their way. They were promptly thrown out and had to look for another activity.

"That movie made me hungry for spaghetti." Grimmjow said and the two decided to go to the best Italian restaurant in town. They then proceeded to copyright the movies best and most memorable scene. Sadly enough, their meal was cut short because dogs were not allowed in the building.

Next on their afternoon list was the Dog Park. Many owners and their pets roamed the vast acre of grass, many singular activities happening. Most of the dogs were of the larger breed, playing Frisbee or just running in haphazard shapes. The handful that were small dogs simply ran around, sniffing the unsuspecting furry butts of their fellow companions.

Grimm was too good for that. So instead, Grimmjow decided to have some one on one fun with the canine. With a bright, unsuspecting flash of light, Grimmjow entered his release form; Pantera. Leaving his gigai in an unconscious heap under a tree, Grimmjow stood on all fours and began to happily chase Grimm around the park. The locals were expectedly scared out of their wits, but Grimmjow did not care; he was having the best day of his life with the only friend that understood him and that was all that mattered.

Unfortunately, it all came to an end when Grimmjow received the phone call he had been dreading all day.

"Grimmjow, the boy is here for the dog. You need to come home." Horrified, Grimmjow tried to convince the monotone Espada to stall for as long as he could, but was answered with a simple "Good Bye" before Ulquiorra hung up on him.

"Well fine!" he growled, replacing the slightly damaged, light blue phone in his pants pocket. Sighing, he looked down at Grimm who was busying himself with a bowl of water. After drinking for a few more seconds, the dog looked up at him, water dripping from its beard. Grimmjow couldn't help but frown. "I guess...it's time to go home buddy..." Picking up the dog, Grimmjow began the slow walk back.

"Oh, there you are Jacques" Aporro said minutes later, opening the front door wider to let the depressed Espada inside. "The boy is in the kitchen with uh, L. Kiora." Nodding solemnly, Grimmjow followed the scientist into the said room, his frown deepening when he saw the Quincy. Ishida got up from his seat, approaching the secretly renamed Espada.

"Is the dog okay?" He asked, eying the dog and its attempt to stay awake after a long day of fun. He nodded sadly.

"He's fine..." Grimmjow sniffled, giving Ishida his best 'I'm going to kill myself if I have to let go of Grimm, even for a second' look he could muster. Instead of buying it however, Ishida simply held out his hands.

"Just give me the dog. We already agreed you would." The Espada looked at Ulquiorra for some kind of comfort, but the other had already left the room. Well that was fast. He looked back at Ishida who still had his hands patiently outstretched, waiting for the dog. He tightened his grip on the canine, hugging it closer to his chest.

"Can I give you his stuff first?"

"Fine." Letting out what seemed to be a long held breath, Grimmjow walked out of the kitchen and into his room. Ishida was tempted to follow, but simply stood there and waited. If the man tried to stiff out on him, he would know.

"Jacques does love that dog..." Ishida jumped at the voice next to him, realizing it was the boy who had answered the door when he arrived. Regaining his composure, he adjusted his glasses.

"It's the law. If he can't pay for it, he can't have it." Ulquiorra nodded, keeping his eyes on the door marked "6 and 8". Listening to the rustling coming from inside the room, Ishida and apparently Ulquiorra, waited until Grimmjow emerged from his room once more. In one hand he held Grimm. In the other, he held a large, blue bag. Ever so slowly, he walked over and gave the bag to Ishida.

"This is his stuff..." He mumbled, waiting for the Quincy to grab a hold of the handles before letting go. Because the bag was absent of any kind of bulge, he had assumed it would be light and easy to carry. After all, when you owned a dog for one day, you wouldn't have a lot of supplies for them. But even as the man let go, Ishida wasn't prepared for the impossibly heavy weight of the bag as it dropped heavily to the ground.

"What the hell is in here?!" He complained, trying to lift the bag off the ground, but to no avail.

"Just some toys, his water bottle, his food bowl, some doggy clothes, his music collection, his health products and his hat." Grimmjow sniffled before finishing off the list. "Most of the weight comes from his fold up treadmill though...he sure loves to run..." Feeling a sweat drop form on the side of his head, Ishida adjusted his glasses.

"Even though I can't imagine how you got all of that to fit in there, it doesn't help my strength..."

"I shall assist you..." Tousen offered, leaving his seat at the dining table. He had sat there the entire morning, listen to others go about their usual bickering. Even when the Quincy had arrived he stayed silent as Ulquiorra, for some strange reason, tried to strike a conversation will them at the table. Tousen had put in a few words, but had otherwise been quiet. It wasn't until now that he offered to speak up for more than a few phrases. "It would be rude to have you carry luggage." He walked over to the awaiting luggage, keeping his hand on the wall for fake guidance.

"Uh, thanks..." Ishida said warily, raising an eyebrow as the blind man in front of him lifted the bag and set it next to the front door. "I hope it's not a burden..."

"Of course not." Ishida walked over to the door, failing to notice Grimmjow trying to escape with the dog back into his room. Fortunately, Nnoitra shoved Grimmjow back in the right direction, ignoring his low growls of protest.

"Get over yourself." He mumbled in the Espada's ear, his hand gripping the shorter man's shoulder tightly. "It's just a dog." The two stopped in front of the Quincy once more, Nnoitra stepping back and away from them. Grimmjow stared hard at Ishida, the dog held securely in his arms.

"Do I have to?" Ishida sighed.

"Yes, you have to." Taking a big gulp, Grimmjow held Grimm in his arms like a baby, their eyes connecting. Sensing the moment, the canine whimpered, pawing at Grimmjow.

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss you too buddy. We had some good times together..." Nnoitra rolled his eyes in the background, soon joined by the rest of the group. Despite this fact however, Wonderweiss seemed the most touched, even if his attention span on the subject lasted exactly 2.5 seconds, a small beetle catching his attention.

With a lip quivering, Grimmjow leaned in close, nuzzling the dog affectionately. Pulling back, his heart gave a small twinge of sorrow when Grimm licked his face. Ishida was about to reconsider taking the dog, see as how Grimmjow was having such a hard time giving it up, when something brutally changed his mind. Opening his mouth widely, Grimmjow stuck his tongue out and gave the dog a good lick on the cheek. The group behind him stopped, trying to register what had happened.

"Nice..." Aporro said bluntly. Nnoitra shook his head slowly, a frown on his face.

"Be glad you're blind Tousen..." he mumbled, dropping his arms slowly back to his sides and began walking away. Tousen couldn't help but grin, the smile spreading onto Halibel's face as well.. Even Ulquiorra seemed affected, his eye twitching ever so slightly.

"Uh...did you...?" Ishida said, raising a very confused eyebrow. Grimmjow ignored the question and instead held out the dog in between them, closing his eyes tightly.

"Hurry! Take him before it's too late!" Clearing his throat, Ishida grabbed the dog, trying to tug him out of Grimmjow's grip.

"You...need to let go of the dog..." he said, pointing at his hands. There was a pause.

"I can't."

"What?"

"I can't let go. You're going to have to pry my hands open."

"Jacques!" Aporro barked from behind after regaining his composure. "Just give him the damn dog already!" Grimmjow whimpered, but went against himself and loosened his grip on Grimm, allowing the Quincy to repossess the animal. Retracting his arms, Grimmjow held his arms close to his chest, slouching.

"Thanks." Ishida muttered, holding the dog under his arm. Opening the door, Tousen rejoined him by helping with the bag. Horror stricken, Grimmjow watched as the Quincy loaded his car, got in and drove away. Tousen returned back inside the house, patting his hands together to get rid of the invisible dust.

"Well, that's that." He said quietly, resuming his seat in the kitchen.

"Thank God" Nnoitra said, plopping himself in front of the television. The others had migrated to other parts of the house, leaving Grimmjow to stand in the front of the door, staring at the exact spot the Quincy was moments before and wishing Grimm was back in his arms once more. Even as he thought about it, he could still feel the lingering taste of dog fur in his mouth.

If only.

**-Fast Forward-**

"I remember it like it was just yesterday..." Nnoitra said, leaning against the living room wall.

"It _was_ just yesterday." Halibel retorted. Nnoitra glared at her a short while before staring back at the body in the corner of the room. "Still, it's gotten too ridiculous."

"Tch, you guys are so juvenile in these kinds of situations." The tall Espada drawled. Halibel raised an eyebrow.

"Really? How so?"

"Do I really need to give a reason? You just are." Pushing himself off the wall, he approached Grimmjow, crouching down right next to him. Extending a long, bony finger, he began to prod at Grimmjow's head. "Hey, Grimmjow! You really need to get up now!" When he received no response, he poked the Espada harder. "Hey! Didn't you hear me!" He said louder. "I said get up, you're being retarded!"

Again, no response. Becoming exasperated, Nnoitra placed his hands on his hips and huffed loudly.

"You're such a dipshit" he said. "Why can't you just wait to get the proper amount of money to buy the stupid thing back? I mean we're getting paid today so I don't see the-ACK!" In mid speech, Nnoitra's airway was suddenly cut off by Grimmjow's tight grip. The man turned ever so slowly to him, his eyes wide in shock.

"What...did you say?" he said quietly, watching as Nnoitra tried to pry open the choke hold grip.

"Buy...the...dog..." he managed to choke out. Taking in the sudden information, Grimmjow let go, letting Nnoitra fall to the ground and gasp for air.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" He yelled furiously, regaining his voice in a matter of seconds. He frowned when he realized he was being ignored by the enlightened Espada.

"Buy Grimm back?" Grimmjow said to himself, standing up slowly. On cue, Ulquiorra entered the room, handing over a pile of paper bills to the Espada.

"50000 Yen" he said calmly. "I do believe the Pet Store down he street is having a sale. In case it strikes your interest." As soon as the words left Ulquiorra's mouth, Grimmjow had gone through the front door, shattering it into a billion tiny pieces. His Sonido echoed throughout the city, rivaled only by his insane laughter. After the dust had cleared, Halibel decided to asses the situation.

"Well...the door's broken again." she mumbled.

"Indeed it is..." Ulquiorra agreed. He turned to the Lanky Espada who had yet to get up from the floor. "You will be busy tonight." Nnoitra looked up at him in disgust.

"Who the hell says I'm fixing this mess again?!"

**This probably has a lot of grammar mistakes, but I plan to clean it up later. In the mean time, please read and review. :3**


	7. Grimm Love

**CH 7: Grimm Love**

It was a typical day for employee Uryuu Ishida at the "Love A Pet" Pet Store. The usual amount of customers came and went, the usual employees were late and there was that one child that screamed when she didn't get what she wanted. At the moment, Ishida had been busying himself with a book of Sudoku while manning the cash register. Taking a break from the book, he stared at the large Sale sign that hung on the front window. He wrinkled his nose.

"For sale my ass..." he mumbled to himself. "We drop the prices by 40000 Yen and we still aren't making a jump in profit." That fact would be proven wrong in the next .5 seconds, when the front door of the building was suddenly blown off its hinges by a sonic boom. The sudden blast caused the Quincy to skid across the floor, his hip bumping viciously into the counter. Other customers fell to the floor, the youngest ones crying for their parents. Adjusting his glasses, Ishida stared at the door-less hinges in bewilderment. "What the hell was that?!" he asked no one in particular. Although the event lasted for mere seconds, the Manager of the business was forced to restore order.

"Okay people, calm down!" He yelled, the others becoming quiet once more. "There's no need to be alarmed, it was probably just a government jet airplane." The group of people seemed to believe him and began to pick themselves off of the floor. Satisfied, the Manager turned to Ishida, a grin on his pudgy face.

"Tell the other two to clean this mess up ASAP." He then turned and disappeared into his office before Ishida could answer him back. Sighing, he returned to his spot in front of the register, but not before bending down to pick up his Sudoku book. He frowned when he realized the book was much lighter than he remembered.

"Damnit, most of the pages are gone..." he muttered, placing the book on the counter once more. To his dismay, the counter was already being occupied by the arm of a blue haired, grinning man. Ishida took a step back out of surprise as the man leaned over the counter, paper bills clutched in his hand.

"I've come for Grimm." Grimmjow said maliciously. Ishida blinked.

"Uh, hello Jacques...When did you get in here?" Grimmjow frowned.

"That's not important! All I want is Grimm back."

"Why are you so obsessed with that dog?!"

"Because he's my bestest friend in the entire world and I won't ever let him get away from me, ever!" Ishida sighed, adjusting his glasses. He held out his hand.

"There is a sale today, so the dog is only 50000 Yen." Grimmjow grinned once more, dropping his money into the waiting hand. Confirming the amount, Ishida pushed a few buttons on the register, opening the machine. Placing the money inside the tray, he closed it and walked out from behind the counter, signaling for the taller man to follow.

"This way please." The Espada followed him, the grin still on his face. Quietly, the two walked to the back of the store where the animals were being kept. The large cages held many types of animals, the main ones being cats and dogs. Grimmjow stopped momentarily to stare at a sleeping cat before catching up to the Quincy. The two walked past many of the cages, stopping at one at the far end. A sign hung on the bars reading "Stop! I Already Have A Home!". Inside was Grimm, sleeping soundly in the corner. Quietly, Ishida pulled out a bangle of keys from his pocket and began looking for the one to Grimm's cage. In the meantime, Grimmjow pressed against the cage, sticking his finger in between the bars.

"Hi Grimm-kun." He cooed. Upon hearing its name being called, the puppy woke up, its tired eyes looking up at Grimmjow. Almost immediately, it sprung to life, barking happily at the sight of its previous owner. "You're such a good boy!" Grimmjow praised, waiting for the dog to get close before scratching it's ears lovingly. "Yes you are, yes you are!" Finding the right key, Ishida pushed the man aside and stuck the key inside the lock. Opening the cage door, he pulled out the dog and handed it over.

"Here you go, he's all yours." Wasting no time, Grimmjow hugged the dog in a death grip, letting go when the dog slowly became unresponsive. Ishida adjusted his glasses, coughing slightly to get the man's attention back. "I figured you would have come back for the dog sooner or later." he pointed towards the sign. "So I made sure no one else adopted the dog before you had a chance to come back." Grimmjow grinned.

"Well then that makes you my bestest friend in the entire universe."

"I thought that was the dog."

"Pfft, whatever. The dog's a dog but you're the one that kept our friendship alive!" He stopped, looking around the room. "By the way, you didn't happen to keep his stuff did you? I don't have the economical status to get it again if you catch my drift..." Ishida nodded.

"I put it in the back closet. I was gonna let him use his treadmill today but I thought against it, what with my back still being in place..." Grimmjow gave a sharp laugh, making Ishida jump in surprise.

"You're a funny kid. How's about you come over later tonight for a little get together?"

"Is that sarcasm?"

"Nah, I'm bein'...what's that word again? The one that good people do to get what they want?

"...Truthful?"

"Yeah, that one! You can even bring a buddy with you if you want! After all, the more the merrier. So, you wanna come?" Ishida stood there for a minute, contemplating. Was he really about to accept an invitation from an assaulter?

"I suppose so...after all, it is the weekend..."

"You also have to keep up your end of the deal, or did you forget?" Ishida sighed.

"Of course...constant nonphysical contact is always important in a relationship...though, I still don't understand why you want to try to fool Kurosaki." Grimmjow shrugged, scratching behind one of the dog's ears.

"We're just not on good terms."

"Why not?" The Espada scowled, putting his free hand on his hip. He stared down at the Quincy.

"Why the hell do you care? Jeez, you're so nosy." Ishida shrugged, adjusting his glasses.

"Human curiosity. Now uh, if you don't mind, I'd like for you to take his things and kindly depart. I have to get back to the cash register and I can't leave you here by yourself."

"Ok, whatever." Grimmjow said, following Ishida to the closet in question. Opening the door with another set of keys, the teen allowed Grimmjow to take back the impossibly heavy bag. Walking back to the front of the store, Grimmjow gave him another grin. "Don't forget about tonight, kay?"

"I won't..." Ishida said, adjusting his glasses. "Is there a specific time you would like for me to arrive?" The other looked up in thought, tapping his foot in thought.

"Uh...how about 7? I kinda have to set up the house before you come over and all." Agreeing, Ishida watched as the man made his way through the open door way, the scene somewhat troublesome to him. Still, he shrugged it off, pulled out his phone and began dialing. Typing in the last digit, he held up the phone and waited for the ringing to stop.

"...Hello?"

"Hi Kurosaki. It's Ishida."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Can someone please remind me why we're doing this again?" Nnoitra muttered, a hammer held tightly in his hand. "This wasn't how I originally planned my weekend."

"We have to prepare for the boy's arrival." Ulquiorra informed. He crouched down, spritzing a cabinet window with Brand Name liquid. It had been 4 hours since Grimmjow had arrived home with the dog. He appeared to be happy, informing the others that he had invited his new "bestest friend forever" over for a sleepover. With no other choice, they set to cleaning the house, Nnoitra automatically assigned to door duties. He protested, but stopped shortly after when he realized no one else was listening. Aporro seemed to have the same problem as well, when he reviewed certain parts of Grimmjow's information .

"What if he brings a threat?" he asked Grimmjow. "We could very well be endangering our stay here." Grimmjow ignored the lower Espada, instead focusing on cleaning the dining table. Aporro sighed, stirring that nights dinner in a big, steaming pot.

"Knowing him, he'll probably just bring some idiot from his class or something." Aporro considered the outcome, but quickly overwrote it with another concern.

"What if he brings the Shinigami?" Grimmjow stopped, slowly looking up at the Octova Espada. He then proceeded to frown.

"You're an idiot." He said flatly. Aporro rolled his eyes.

"It's a possibility. There's a 75 Percent chance he'll bring the Shinigami."

"And how, dear brother, did you figure that out?" Aporro raised an eyebrow, turning to look at the other Espada.

"It's my job to figure these kinds of things out, in case you forgot what our roles were in Las Noches." Grimmjow scoffed, viciously squirting a piece of lint with the Wood Polish he had abused for the last few hours. The smell was enough to encourage Halibel to intervene.

"Do you mind?" She asked, walking up to Grimmjow with a used knife in her hand. "We're kind of cooking in the same room and we don't need poison in our dinner." Giving her a short glare, Grimmjow grabbed his supplies and sulked off into the living room where most of the other Espada were cleaning.

"Nnoitra! Why is it taking you so long to fix the door?! It's just a piece of wood for crap's sake!" he spat, focusing his anger at the lanky man.

"I don't see you doin' this shit!" Nnoitra shot back, waving his hammer around. "So if I were you, I'd shut the hell up if you knew what was good for you!" Snarling, Grimmjow balled up the rag, throwing it will all of his strength at the other. The slightly brown rag traveled through the air at top speed when it suddenly stopped mid flight and dropped to the ground. The two Espada stared in silence at the lone rag, Grimmjow's expression beyond astonished.

"What the hell, man?!" Unable to comprehend his continuing bad luck, Grimmjow stood there, trying to drown out Nnoitra's cackling from across the room.

"I don't think this is the right time to act like children..." Ulquiorra interrupted. "We still have a lot of cleaning to do in the other rooms. The boy is going to stay the night, is he not?"

"Yes..." Grimmjow muttered, pushing his murderous intent to the back of his head.

"Then we will need to clean the room in which he will be sleeping for the night."

"Who says he's sleeping in any of the rooms?" Nnoitra butted in suddenly. "The only place good enough for him to sleep is on the couch."

"Well he's my friend, so I say he sleeps in any room he chooses, besides the living room." Grimmjow shot back. "He deserves it after all, because without him, Grimm and I would have never been reunited." He turned towards the dog on the couch, giving it a content look. Nnoitra rolled his eyes in disgust.

"I hope that dog gets rabis..." he muttered.

"What was that?!" Grimmjow growled, making a fist at the higher Espada. "Do you want me to beat your face into the ground?!"

"I didn't say anything you retard!" Nnoitra stood up, trying to use his height to his advantage. "So take that threat back or I'll-"

"Or you'll what? Kill me first?"

"If that's what it takes to get you to think before you threaten me, then so be it you little ass wipe!"

"Why you little-!" Grimmjow was suddenly cut off when a reduced Cero shot by his head and through the front window. The bickering Espada immediately quieted down, jumping out of the way of the blast. After the blast cleared, the two looked in the direction in which it came.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Ulquiorra?!" Nnoitra exclaimed, getting up from his flat position on the ground.

"You could have cero'd my face off!" Grimmjow added angrily, appearing from behind the couch. Hardly fazed by the angry remarks, Ulquiorra dropped his hand back down to his side. Turning around, he bent down and picked up his lifeless gigai. Nnoitra and Grimmjow watched as he entered the body and fix himself up before facing the two of them again.

"I won't tell you again." He said dangerously. "Clean this house, or next time I won't purposely miss your empty heads." With that, Grimmjow and Nnoitra promptly shut up and continued to clean.

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"I dunno about this..." Ichigo scratched the back of his head, a look of uncertainty on his face. Ishida sighed, adjusting his glasses.

"Please Kurosaki? I don't want to go alone."

"But I thought you said you were friends with him. Why would you be afraid to go by yourself?"

"Well it's not him I'm worried about. It's his company. I've never met them before in my life."

"And you're still going?"

"It would be rude otherwise." Ichigo sighed heavily, rolling his eyes.

"Fine, I guess..." Ishida smiled, pushing the orange headed teen from behind with both hands. He complied, allowing himself to be steered back to his house. He had originally planned to go over to Ishida's house to train for their eventual departure back to Hueco Mundo, but the Quincy shot them down with his own plans. He said he was invited to Jacques' house for a sleep over and he was allowed to invite someone else to go with him. The closest one in the vicinity just so happened to be Ichigo. Still, he went along anyways; he felt he needed to repay the other for all he had to go through during their search for Inoue.

Even then as he thought about her, his heart sank. His best friend was kidnapped by the Espada bastards and was being held captive in Las Noches. He wanted to continue the search for her, but after fighting so many Arrancar and in Ichigo's case Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the group was forced back home to recuperate. Ichigo's attitude was more than sour, but he had admitted he needed all the time he could get, especially when their strategy was less than perfect. He furrowed his brow in concern, his mood dropping heavily.

"You know Ishida, I'm still not too sure about this whole, meeting new people. I recall saying something of the sorts..."

"Don't worry Kurosaki, everything will be fine. Trust me."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Ugh, no that sounds stupid." Aporro muttered, scrunching up his face in disgust. "How about something less conspicuous and more me related?"

"Grantz is totally not conspicuous." Grimmjow argued back, putting his hands on his knees. He, along with the other Espada, had gathered around the living room floor, discussing their next big activity; deciding names. Aporro had endlessly bugged about creating new identities, should they run into the Shinigami by accident. Ulquiorra had also pointed out that they might need them when giving out information in the real world.

"Yes it is and you know it, Grimmjow." The Sexta Espada sighed heavily, slouching with his legs crossed Indian style.

"Fine, what name do you want then?" Aporro looked up in thought, his finger pressed on his lips.

"I like the name Grant Z Apollo" He smiled contently, immediately liking the name. Grimmjow raised an eyebrow.

"You do realize, that's just your original name flipped backwards."

"No it's not." Aporro said defiantly. "Grant Z. may be from my last name, but Apollo is derived from one of the American shuttles; Apollo 13. You should have learned it from when you were a human."

"Well then forgive me for not remembering stupid shit like that."

"You're not the only one Grimmjow..." Nnoitra added, chucking lightly. "All that history is so useless. I don't see who uses it in their lifetime."

"Well for one, important, smart people remember what they were taught..." Halibel interjected, watching Nnoitra's face fall from smug to irritated.

"You have no authority to call me less educated than you filthy trash." he spat, turning away from the lone woman. Halibel simply shrugged it off, instead continuing the main conversation.

"The only one left to name is Tousen."

"I rather like the name Thomas..." The darkest Espada said, his face blank.

"Then it's all decided." Grimmjow concluded, getting up to stretch out his cramping legs. As if on cue, the newly installed doorbell rang, causing the group to turn in unison towards the front door. Grimmjow couldn't help but grin. "Well, it seems that our guest has arrived." Skipping merrily to the door, much to the Espada's dismay, he approached the door, sparkles appearing around his face.

"What a retard." Nnoitra thought out loud. Despite this however, he seemed to eye Grimmjow's backside a little lower than necessary, a grin plastered on his face.

Opening the newly installed, reinforced door, Grimmjow prepared to welcome his guest.

"Welcome to my house, bestest friend forev-" He stopped short, whatever words he was about to say dying on his tongue. Eyes widening in pure shock, it took him a long 5 minutes to register the sight before him. In front of him stood the one reason he existed. The one reason why he was part of Aizen-sama's God forsaken plot. The one reason why he possibly could be coming out of the closet sooner than expected.

There stood his worst nightmare.

"Uh, hi...Jacques" Ishida said sometime later. "I don't know if you remember, but this is my friend. Kurosaki Ichigo."

**Yay! Cliffhanger! Or not, never mind. Anyway, sorry about all those dirty, dirty hints. Not to mention the OOCness of Nnoitra and Grimmjow. I just couldn't control myself. Anyways, please review. I love you! 8D**


	8. En La Noche

**CH 8: En La Noche**

Grimmjow stared long and hard into that cursed face. After what seemed like an eternity, Aporro finally wrenched the Espada's hand from the handle and pushed him out of the way. Unexpectedly, Grimmjow allowed himself to fall to the ground in a heap next to the door.

"Uh, sorry about that. Anyway, my name is Grant Z. Apollo." He bowed. "It's a pleasure to meet you." The two teens bowed, returning the greeting. Stepping over the lifeless Sexta Espada, Aporro ushered them inside the house. Ichigo took the time to survey the household.

"Wow, this is cleaner than my room." he praised. Ishida adjusted his glasses.

"Anything is cleaner than your room, Kurosaki."

"What?!" Ichigo said defiantly, glaring at the smirking Quincy. Aporro watched the two bicker for an unknown amount of time before clearing his throat.

"I'm guessing you brought some bags with you?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." Ichigo said, flashing a stupid grin. "They're by the front door. I'll go get-"

"Allow me to transfer your bags into your room." Ulquiorra interrupted, stepping forward. "It would be rude to have you do all the work." Without waiting for a response, he walked passed their guests and grabbed their bags. Normally, picking up a bag full of useless human junk would be a piece of cake for the Cuatra Espada. But because he had on the gigai, which reduced their powers by 65 Percent, the task proved rather difficult. Not to mention, the gigai's age corresponded with the amount of extra power it drained from the Espada in question.

In short, Ulquiorra had the strength of a 17 year old, inactive boy.

"Do you need some help?" Aporro asked, watching the shorter Espada struggle with the two bags. Ulquiorra paused, trying to catch his breath from all of the tugging.

"No, I can do this by myself. Thank you for your concern though." Grabbing the handles once more, he resumed his tugging.

"Anyway, I suppose we should introduce ourselves." Halibel said quietly, trying to ignore Ulquiorra's tired huffs. "My name's Hailey."

"I am Thomas."

"I'm Noi."

"My name is L. Kiora. As previously stated." Nnoitra jumped as Ulquiorra walked up right beside him. Frowning, the lanky one put his hands on his hips.

"How the hell did you do that so fast?" he asked angrily. Ulquiorra simply shrugged.

"Magic." Blinking, he walked over to the dead body on the floor. Staring at it for a few moments, he finally nudge it with his foot. "Jacques, that is no place for a host. Please, regain your composure and reintroduce yourself to your guests." Ever so slowly, Grimmjow began to move, slowly getting up from his fetal position on the floor. Trying to act as normal as he possibly could, he put on a smile and stepped in front of the two teens.

"Uh, hi! I'm Jacques and I will be your host for tonight!" He grabbed Ichigo's hand, shaking it vigorously. The Shinigami raised an eyebrow from the man's sudden appearance.

"My name's Kurosaki Ichigo...where'd you say you were from again, Jacques?"

"Oh! I know!" Nnoitra exclaimed, raising his hand in the air. "He a Greek man with a...French Poodle that's...always...hungry." Silence followed the odd explanation, raising Ichigo's suspicions even more. Right from the get go, Ichigo had sensed something was wrong with these particular group of people. Specifically, the one named Jacques. He looked too much like his newfound enemy, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques of Aizen Sosuke's Army. Even their names sounded the same to some extent. The Shinigami was about to voice his suspicions, when Jacques attacked the tall one named Noi.

"You're an idiot, Noi!" Grimmjow insulted, punching the other in the arm forcefully. Nnoitra reacted by shoving Grimmjow forcefully backwards.

"You were the one that temporarily died, jackass!" The others looked on as the fight ensued, Ishida quietly adjusting his glasses.

"What a wonderful bond all you you share..." he said to no one in particular.

"Indeed..." Tousen responded. "Shall we take a tour of the home?"

"That sounds good to me." Ishida agreed, grabbing Ichigo by the arm and dragging him across the room towards the moving group. Looking back at the fighting men, Ichigo couldn't help but frown at the resemblance one of them had to the Espada. He sighed, pushing the thought aside as the home tour began.

He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Last but not least, this is where you'll be staying for the night." Ichigo and Ishida peeked into the lone room, admiring it's simplicity. The space only contained a small one person bed, a desk and a hamper. The single window brought in the necessary amount of light and the light blue interior made the space all the more serene.

"Unfortunately, we do not have two built-in beds." Ulquiorra said quietly. "So we went out and bought a futon for one of you to use for the night."

"Did you really?" Ichigo asked, furrowing his eyebrow. "You didn't have to go out and spend money on temporary guests..." Ulquiorra shrugged.

"It's not like I paid for the futon..."

"What?"

"Nothing. Well, that is the end of the tour.." Closing the bedroom door, Ulquiorra lead the group into the living room. Some time ago, Halibel had left them to make the finishing touches on that nights dinner. She reappeared from the kitchen, her hands busy with untying the apron knot. She gave them a small smile.

"Dinner's ready." she said happily.

"Finally." Nnoitra groaned. "I've been starving ever since this morning." Aporro raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you eat breakfast?"

"Yeah right." Grimmjow interrupted. "He was too busy playing that new Wii thing we got this morning from Aiz- uh, I mean...my grandfather." He gave Ichigo and Ishida a quick smile. "My grandpa lives in Hokkaido."

"Well that was very nice of your grandfather." Ichigo said slowly, his suspicions rising again. Nnoitra snorted, folding his arms across his chest.

"His grandpa also doesn't make people fix front doors all afternoon." Ichigo blinked.

"Front door?" He looked off in the direction of the front of the house, failing to see Aporro punch Nnoitra in the side. "What happened to the front door?" Temporary silence followed, all of them waiting for an explanation from someone. The victim was, once again, Grimmjow.

"Uh...a truck crashed through it this morning."

"What the hell?!" Ishida exclaimed. "And you managed to make it look as if it never happened?!"

"Well duh." Nnoitra added. "I mean this kind of thing happens all the time, does it not?"

"Not...really..." Ichigo muttered, a sweat drop appearing on the side of his head. The dreaded silence followed, broken by Halibel's expectant voice.

"Don't make me eat all this food by myself you guys."

"Forward march!" Aporro yelled, pointing dramatically towards the dining room. Exhaling a sigh of relief, Grimmjow and the others soon filed into the dining room and took a seat at the table. Before them lay the most delicious, Spanish themed dinner anyone could possibly have in their lifetime. Each plate had a pile of rice in one corner, a pile of salsa fresca in the other and a large piece of steak lay right in the middle. Guacamole was draped over the steaming rice, the tangy smell wafting into the Shinigami's nose. As a side dish, they had two small pupusas, cheese stuffed in the middle. For starter drinks, they had Horchata, but the two teens were informed they would be having wine later on as part of their dessert.

"If you're still hungry after dinner, we have rice milk and flan for dessert." Halibel looked in thought. "Oh and we also have corn on the cob and peas. Butter included." As soon as the words left her mouth, Ichigo used his utensils like digging equipment and began to devour the food on his plate. The others joined it shortly afterwards, conversation developing.

"So, Ichigo..." Aporro said quietly, sipping his drink. "What is it that you do besides going to school?"

"Nufin'." The Shinigami replied, his mouth overflowing with food. Apollo adjusted his glasses. He, along with Grimmjow, watched as Ichigo chewed his food for a few minutes and swallow it in one gulp.

"...I see..." The Espada looked off into the faces of the others, trying to resume normal eating habits.

Grimmjow did not join in this ritual. Instead, his mind was occupied with other, dirty thoughts.

_Holy shit, Ichigo Kurosaki is actually in my house! Having dinner! What am I supposed to do with his stupid ass around?! One wrong move and he'll totally know we're not normal people! I have to distract him somehow and fast!!_

The groups current conversation was cut off suddenly as Grimmjow stood up abruptly from his seat. Seven pairs of eyes turned to him, waiting for him to explain himself. Trying to think of something, Grimmjow's eyes fell on Ichigo.

"Oh Ichigo!" He said rather loudly, pointing towards the Shinigami's full cup for emphasis. "I see you're out of Horchata! Lemmie get you some more!" Ichigo blinked, his eyes following the mans finger to the object in question.

"Um, actually I'm fine with-"

"Nonsense! It's my duty as a host to serve you in any possible way!" Pulling his chair out of the way, Grimmjow grabbed Ichigo's cup and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the rest of them utterly confused.

"Uh, should I...?" Nnoitra asked, slowly getting out of his chair.

"Please." Aporro said tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Nodding, Nnoitra stood up, pushed in his chair and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Jacques, Are you feeling okay? You were kinda-WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Shut up!" Grimmjow hissed, pushing his finger against the others lips. "I don't want to make a scene!" Staring into Nnoitra's eye for a few more seconds, Grimmjow finally let go, turning back around.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Nnoitra whispered again, looking over the other's shoulders. Taking out two white pills from his jacket pocket, Grimmjow dropped them into Ichigo's drink, giggling manically to himself as he watched them fizz. After they completely dissolved, Grimmjow turned around, a triumphant look on his face.

"This, my friend, is our break. When Ichigo drinks this, he'll be so hammered he'll forget this night ever happened. That way, even if any of you spill the beans, he won't remember."

"What do you mean we? You're the one with the biggest mouth."

"Shut up."

"But besides that, he'll know you're up to something. You switched his drink with wine." Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"This is the only kind of drink that'll work with this shit!"

"How do you know if that shit will even work?"

"I saw it in a commercial, stupid!" Grimmjow said matter-of-factly. Nnoitra raised an eyebrow.

"Do you even know what it is?"

"No, but they said it's what weird pedophiles use on girls at bars."

"You're going to rape him!?" Nnoitra said, suddenly angry. Grimmjow glared back at him, hugging the cup protectively.

"No, I'm not going to rape him you sick bastard! Besides, what would you care if I did?" With that, he walked past Nnoitra, heading back out into the dining room. Nnoitra stood there, his expression relaxing to almost depression. Taking a deep breath, he put on a content face and followed Grimmjow.

"Uh...wine?" Ichigo said, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not wine." Grimmjow said, taking his seat again. "It's...apple juice. You like apple juice don't you?"

"Yeah but..."

"So drink. It's good for you." Everyone stared at Ichigo, waiting to see what he would do; drink the wine, or leave it alone. Aporro was tempted to call out Grimmjow for some foul play, but he decided against the idea. Who knows, maybe something good would happen if the kid drank the beverage.

"Fine..." Ichigo said finally. Tipping the cup, he drank.

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Would you like more tea, Mr. Jingles?"

"Why, yes I do, Mrs. Starshine." Ichigo giggled stupidly, holding out his cup in front of Grimmjow. Picking up the bottle of Rum, Grimmjow tipped it over, completely missing the cup. The liquid stained the carpet, but nonetheless, Grimmjow kept pouring.

"There you go!" He said happily, lifting the bottle. "Would you like some too Professor Macaroni?"

"More more!" Halibel sang loudly, shaking her cup. "More for the Professor, you lowlife!"

"Oh my God! You said a bad word!" Aporro slurred, laying himself on top of Halibel. She grunted from the extra weight, eventually laying flat on her stomach, her arms outstretched. "You's bad person."

"No!" she argued back. "You bad person, Joe!" There was a moment of silence before all of them burst out laughing. During this fit of laughter, Tousen walked up to them, a colorful box in his hands. He raised an eyebrow at the partially dressed and completely drunk Espada. Looking over them, he spotted the body of the Shinigami, the boy trying to keep himself awake. He cleared his throat, getting most of their attention.

"I'm sorry to interrupt this, uh...boding time..." he started, holding up the box. "But L. Kiora has suggested that we play a game."

"Oh my God a GAME?!" Grimmjow exclaimed. "I love me games!!"

"Me too!!" Ichigo agreed, trying to pick himself off of the floor.

"Wassa game?" Aporro mumbled, trying to see the box. This task proved difficult, seeing as his glasses were nowhere to be seen.

"Oh! I know the game!!" Ulquiorra chirped in suddenly. Grabbing the head of the couch, he hauled himself up to face the others. "Is...dance."

"I can dance!" Halibel said, standing up abruptly. Aporro rolled onto the floor from her action, but had yet to open his mouth to complain. "I can be a ballerina!" Halibel hobbled on her feet, horribly mimicking a graceful dancer. In the middle of her short routine however, Grimmjow stood up and shoved her hard.

"Shut up! I can dance bestest!" he growled. To prove his point, he twirled around on his toe, resulting in his quick fall back on the ground. Ichigo giggled, his face red.

"You fell, you fell!" he chanted, clapping his hands together. "You is falling star!" Tousen cleared his throat.

"Actually...the game is called Dance Dance Revolution."

"Though, I doubt any of you retards are able to play the game properly." Nnoitra said, lying on the couch next to Ulquiorra. Tousen turned to him, watching the Espada pet the sleeping dog nestled comfortably on his stomach.

"You're still sober?" Tousen asked. "I would have thought you'd be the one to drink the most alcohol." Nnoitra shrugged, lazily running his fingers through the dogs fur.

"These idiots are the last people I'd ever get drunk with." He pointed towards Ulquiorra who had, for the past ten minutes, tried to take off his mask. "Do you see what drinking with them does to you?" He grabbed his half empty cup from the coffee table, taking a sip. Tousen tilted his head to the side.

"Wait...when did Ulquiorra get out of his gigai?"

"Who knows. The real question is, how did he manage to do that in the first place?"

"No, I think the real _real _question is, why did he do something as irrational as take it off? The Soul Reaper is still in our household."

"He's incapacitated, he's never going to remember. As is every other drunk Espada lying on the floor." Tousen nodded, furrowing his brow in understanding.

"I see...though, one question still remains unanswered..." he mumbled to himself, setting down the colorful box next to the brand new Playstation 2. The others dragged their way across the floor to the two items in question, trying to vainly to figure out their relevance. Ulquiorra abandoned his current activity, instead trying to get off the couch to join the others. His attempts resulted in him rolling off the couch and onto the ground, a dull thump following shortly afterwards.

"Yeah? What's that?" Nnoitra asked, taking another sip of his water bottle. Tousen sighed, watching as the drunk soldiers were accompanied by the ever slow Wonderweiss who had, for the past 2 hours, tried to figure out how to open the sliding back door.

"...Why is Ulquiorra drunk?" Nnoitra stopped in mid sip, slowly bringing the cup down to look inside. Curiously, he swirled the drink, deep in thought.

"I...don't remember seeing him drink the wine..." he said slowly. "Come to think of it...I don't remember seein' Aporro drink any wine either..."

"I think..." Tousen said after a long pause. "Grimmjow spiked more than just the Shinigami's drink..." Nnoitra made a face, his stomach suddenly feeling strangely empty. His grip tightened on the cup, the room ever so slowly spinning.

"...Fuckin' Grimmjow."

**I didn't really want to end it here, but it seemed like a good place to stop without making the chapter too long XD So uh, please review! And I'm sorry this took so long! I'll make the next one faster, I promise!**


	9. Your Hollow Hole Is Showing

**A segment of this chapter was borrowed from one of Sehanort's videos on YouTube. You should go watch it, it's called "An Espada Episode". I tweaked it a little bit, but I still wanna give him credit for the idea.**

**CH 9: Your Hollow Hole is Showing**

"Say cheese, Ichigo." Ishida looked through the camera view, focusing on his friends stupefied face.

"Cheese is good..." Grimmjow mumbled, tightening his grip around Ichigo's waist. Chuckling, Ishida clicked the camera. It flashed for a split second before a Polaroid began slide out.

"What's that?" Tousen asked quietly, sliding up next to the Quincy.

"It's a camera." Ishida replied, taking the photograph and fanning it in the air. Tousen nodded.

"Is that what you retrieved from your household?"

"Yeah, sorry it took so long." He held up the photo, examining it carefully in the light. "It's rather important to have these kinds of things in times like this."

"Is that so? Why is that?" Ishida carefully placed the photo in his back pocket, uniting it with previously taken photos of various people in the household. But mostly of Ichigo and Grimmjow.

"Blackmail" Ishida said simply, holding up the camera again. He clicked it again, this time capturing a picture of Grimmjow's hand sliding up Ichigo's shirt semi consciously. He inwardly smiled to himself, enjoying the opportunity.

"Okay everyone, gather 'round! I've got somethin' ya'll might wanna see!" Nnoitra yelled suddenly over the drunk moans and groans. "I has a special show for you!" Tousen's eye twitched ever so slightly.

"If you strip again, I will kill you." he said dangerously. His threat fell on deaf ears however, as everyone tried to focus on the tall, undercover Espada. Dramatically, he waved a hand towards Ulquiorra. The Quatra Espada was back in his gigai, thanks to Tousen and the previously sober Nnoitra and was currently sitting on one of the Gaming Pads. At that time, Ishida had gone back to his house to retrieve his camera, giving the two men enough time to force Ulquiorra back into his gigai before the Quincy noticed anything. "Kiki and I will be performin' a dance to a song we all know and love." He suddenly made a fist, glaring at no one in particular. "Oh yes, we all know that this bastard over here has been the consecutive champion of DDR for many years now; almost 50!"

"Uh, I thought you guys never had DDR..." Ishida muttered, raising an eyebrow at the rambling man.

"It's the alcohol..." Tousen replied quietly, taking a seat next to the vomit smelling body of Aporro. The dark skinned man patted the Octova Espada's leg softly. Somehow he felt bad that Aporro's first drinking experience ended with him passing out on the couch, vomit all over his hair and on the side of his face. Tousen even made himself check the flamboyant man's pulse once in a while to see if he was still alive or if he fell victim to alcohol poisoning. Hey, even an Espada had their limits.

"But do you think that would lemmie quit tryin' to beated him?!" Nnoitra continued, his expression growing angrier.

"Uh...fish...?" Halibel said, trying to answer Nnoitra's rhetorical question.

"Fuck no!" He yelled, ignoring her slurred voice. "And so today, ladies and man, I will finally beat him on his bestest, more experted level ever!" His voice and horrible grammar was booming now, echoing throughout the house. "I will finally beat Kiki at Dance Dance Revolution on his most prized song!!!:" On cue, the DDR Menu showed up on the television screen, the play mode and song selected. Will a whirl of the machine, the expert level began to load. "Love Love Shine!!"

"Uh, Noi...?" Tousen asked, raising his hand slowly. "Don't you think this is a little unfair? L. Koira is thoroughly smashed and you're...well you're you." Nnoitra turned to him, glaring at the blind man.

"Shush!" he hissed. "That's the point!!" He closed his mouth with an imaginary zipper to emphasize his odd point before turning back around. The screen had completely loaded, two male characters standing on large, pink cubes.

"Are you ready?!" The DJ asked energetically from the television.

"No...I'm not..." Ulquiorra said slowly. Putting his hands on the ground, he tried to push himself up like a little baby trying to walk for the first time. After a couple seconds of struggling, he managed to stumble onto his feet, his head tilting to the side.

"Okay! Here we go!" With that, the song began to play. Instantaneously the split screen was overwhelmed with arrows pointing in four directions, flying upwards at a high speed. Focusing as much as he could on the game, Nnoitra began to move around and hit the buttons on the pad, corresponding with whatever arrow hit the top first. Ulquiorra at first did not know what was going on, due to the fact that he was forced into the game and simply stood there. But when the pretty colors at the top of the screen quickly disappeared, he decided to try to get them back. So he had set to copying Nnoitra, quickly realizing that the arrows on the pad had to be hit at the right time in order for the pretty rainbow to come back. However, something horrible caught his eyes.

"Your rainbow is bigger than mine!!" he yelled, sadness taking over his tone. He then slowed down, his own Gauge shrinking again as each arrow passed by untouched.

"That's because I can play the game!" Nnoitra yelled back, his concentration and speed never faltering. Ulquiorra stared at the floor, deep in drunk thought.

_Noi-Noi took my pretty rainbow away from me...he stoled my beautiful rainbow and now he's laughing at me about it...no, I won't let him win. I will get back my rainbow. I will beat Noi-Noi and make him pay for murdering rainbow! I will win for rainbow!! I will win!!_

"FOR RAINBOW!!!" he yelled triumphantly, reentering himself in the game. Nnoitra stumbled slightly from the sudden outburst, but quickly regained his footing. Growing at Ulquiorra's sudden uptake of the game, he clenched his fists together and picked up his pace.

"FOR RAINBOW MY ASS!!!" He yelled back, avoiding the determination written all over the shorter one's face.

"You can do it well!!!" Ichigo yelled to neither of them in particular. His encouraging yells were cut off however, when Grimmjow continued to molest the Shinigami. He squirmed under the drunk man's touch, but remained unfaded at the Espada's friendly nature and the constant camera flashes in his face. Between a bombardment of photos, Ishida put the camera down, his brow furrowed.

"Somehow..." he said to himself, looking at the camera. "I feel a twinge of regret for this..." He feel deep into thought for a few more seconds before finally sighing. He then picked up the camera and reloaded it with more film. "Oh well."

Meanwhile, two feet away from the Quincy, the dance competition was raging. Despite his lack in awareness and slowed reaction time, Ulquiorra had picked up his pace against Nnoitra. Both of Dance Gauges were filled to the maximum, the arrows endlessly appearing. The Espada were now fully engulfed in the game, one wanting to finish first and the other playing for the colors. The song was in it's final 30 seconds, the tension in the air rising to unbreathable proportions. Even Tousen leaned in, listening to the random outbursts of "Excellent!" and "100 Combo!" from the screen, trying to figure out who was getting what.

Then, as soon it started, it finished. The final arrows had reached the top and the screen flashed in bright colors. Huffing heavily, the two Espada fell to the floor, trying to catch their breath as the game calculated their scores. Grimm joined them from the couch, waging his tail enthusiastically at their precipitation.

"Who won, who won?!" Grimmjow yelled, sitting up from his suggestive position on Ichigo.

"Shut up!" Halibel yelled, throwing an empty wine bottle at Grimmjow's head. "I'm trying to watch my shows!!" The bottle smashed on impact, giving Grimmjow a large gash across his forehead. But since his sensory cells were effectively burned, he didn't feel a thing.

"Wow...I didn't know you guys would stiff us out like this..." Tousen turned to look behind him at the sudden and new voice. There, on the back of the couch, leaned a rather tired looking Stark. The two looked at each other for a few seconds before going into character.

"Remember me, Thomas? It's Scott." He shook hands with his Superior for emphasis. "Long time no see."

"Same here..." Tousen said, getting up from the couch. "I thought you had forgotten my name..." Stark shrugged, walking around to take Tousen's previous seat. Tousen stared down at him, his hand on the arm rest.

"I remember you used to tell everyone you loved your name..."

"You mean the Name Game?"

"Yeah."

"Oh..." The two became silent, eying Ishida before continuing the conversation.

"How did you get into the house?" Tousen muttered quietly, getting to business. Stark put his hands behind his head, resting back into the couch. He yawned, his eyes slightly watering.

"Our keys are universal..." he replied just a quietly, looking to see if anyone would hear them. "We can open any lock at any time, anywhere. If you haven't noticed, every key you've ever gotten, even if it is from the Human World, has no teeth."

"So it molds into the lock..."

"Yup." He paused. "So, why is that boy here?" Tousen sighed.

"Jacques over here-"

"NOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The two jumped in surprise at the shrill voice, looking around frantically to find the source. It wasn't long before they noticed Ulquiorra rolling around dramatically on the floor that they figured it was probably him. "HOW COULD I LOSE?!?!" He curled up in a tight ball, trying to ignore the ego radiating from Nnoitra standing above him.

"Because you is weak, Little Kiki!!" Nnoitra answered, his hands on his hips triumphantly. "You're winning steak has finally been broked! You is not the top doggie; I AM!!!" As a victory show, he wrapped his arms around himself, grabbing his shoulders. Then, he let out his most evil laugh he could muster. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

"Well that wasn't surprising at all..." Tousen muttered, watching the others enjoy a group laugh. Tousen strode over in the middle of the group and picked up Wonderweiss by the arm. How the Arrancar managed to escaped from the locked room, he would never know. "Anyway, I'll be leaving to my room. Make sure everyone stays out of trouble, Scott." Stark saluted the man.

"Can do, sir."

"And make sure to serve our guests by any means necessary."

"Okie Dokie." With that, Tousen dragged Wonderweiss into his room and locked the door. Yawning once again, Stark nestled himself into the couch, glancing at the unconscious body next to him. He shrugged it off as normal. "It was going to happen..." he muttered.

"I'm telling on you!!" Ulquiorra yelled angrily, pointing towards Nnoitra.

"Go ahead!" Nnoitra yelled in his face. "See what I care! I still won!" Sniffling, Ulquiorra crawled over to a corner, pulling out his cellphone. Dialing in random numbers, he held it up to his ear and waited for someone to answer the ringing.

"...Hello?"

"Noi-Noi beat me at DDR!!! I'm so humiliated!!!" He wailed pathetically into the phone.

"That's fascinating Ulquiorra, but I'm really busy right now. I don't even know how you got this number, but you have to hang up right now."

"But he cheated and stole my rainbow!!"

"He...stole you're rainbow?"

"My pretty rainbow is dead because he stoled it from me!!!"

"What the hell are you talking about? Are you drunk?"

"No I'm sad!" The man sighed heavily.

"I should have known giving you guys that much freedom was going to impair you...Well then I guess I can't rely on you to pass on the bad news."

"Who are you talking to, kid?" Stark asked, raising an eyebrow. Ulquiorra glared at him, turning to face the wall. "...Ok then." He redirected his attention towards the Quincy. "So what brings you here?" he asked. Ishida shrugged, putting his camera back in his backpack.

"Jacques invited me over for the night. Though, I doubt he'll remember in the morning. You?"

"I'm his uncle." he said casually, nodding towards the sobbing Ulquiorra. Ishida looked back and forth at the two.

"I can see the resemblance."

"Yeah...where're you goin'?" Ishida shouldered his bag, heading into the hallway.

"I'm tired" he said, suppressing a yawn. "So I'm gonna go to sleep. You can watch Kurosaki for me, right?"

"Sure thing." The two stared at the Shinigami who was currently being undressed by Grimmjow. The both raised an eyebrow. "Does he have a bed time?" Ishida turned away, waving a hand in the air.

"Just make sure he's in a bed when he finally passes out. He'd kill me if he woke up in a puddle of vomit like some people around here..."

"Sure." With that, Ishida left the living room and disappeared into the guest room.

In the meantime, Ulquiorra had begun to try to listen to the somewhat familiar man on the phone.

"Did you get all that?" the man asked. Ulquiorra thought hard.

"You...said you got stuck?"

"I didn't get stuck, I was ambushed. So I had to flee Las Noches and find a new Headquarters." Ulquiorra giggled.

"Las Nachos? Are you Mexican?"

"No, I'm Japanese! We're all Japanese, that's why the main city we're trying to blow up is in Japan!!" the man paused. "Well, except for Sado...he's half Mexican."

"Why?"

"Well when he was born he - that's not the point! I need you to tell the other Espada that I've changed my location and have sealed off Garganta."

"Who's Gertrude?"

"No! Garganta! I sealed of the portal because it would have given Soul Society another passageway into Hueco Mundo. Do you understand now?" There was a long, deafening pause between the phone line.

"...who are you again?"

"It's Aizen you drunk idiot!"

"Don't yell at me!!" Ulquiorra sobbed, clutching the phone in his shaky fingers.

"Who's yelling at you?" Stark asked, getting up from the couch and walking towards the distressed Espada. Ulquiorra held up the phone, tears in his eyes. The Espada crouched down to Ulquiorra's level, staring at the phone.

"Aizen-sama is yelling at me because he's said I was a drunk idiot!!" Stark stopped.

"Wait...Aizen? As in, our leader?!" Before Ulquiorra could respond, Stark swiped the phone from his fingers, pressing it against his ear. "Aizen-sama? Is it really you?"

"Stark? Oh my God, finally someone who's sober! I've been talking to Ulquiorra for the past 5 minutes and that bastard drove me insane!"

"I can tell. So like, why haven't you been answering your phone for ever? It's kinda got the rest of us worried." Aizen sighed before answering.

"Let's just say I'm having trouble with the Soul Reapers."

"What do you mean?"

"11th and 8th Company jumped me while I was gettin' a tan in the backyard. So I fled with Orihime and most of the Fracción. Well, the important ones anyway; Tesla, Apache, Lilinette, Mila Rose, Sun-sun..." Stark blinked.

"You were...getting a tan?"

"Yeah?"

"...In our backyard?"

"Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?"

"...Not at all sir..."

"Good. So anyway, that's why I've cut off your phone line for the time being. I don't know why Ulquiorra's still works, but whatever. Once I hang up, this phone line will be cut, Garganta will be sealed off and your connection with me and Hueco Mundo will be terminated." Stark could feel a sweat drop forming on his temple. The dog peeing on his boot was no help either.

"So...that means..."

"You will have to live like normal humans until I can find another Headquarters that's far away from Soul Society and anyone who tries to detect us from this point forward."

"Wait, what about us? Are you still gonna send us money and support?!"

"Not likely. Though, if I do, it'll be on random occasions. I will no longer be able to send you a specific amount of money periodically. So you'll have to get jobs and whatnot to support yourselves, should my support be unexpectedly cut off completely."

"I wish you were a bit more sarcastic, Aizen-sama..."

"I'm sorry Stark, but I cannot have too many passageways open at once. It would give the enemy more ways to pass through into our world."

"I understand..."

"Good. Make sure you tell the others of my predicament and I'll try to get back with you ASAP. But don't expect anything for at least a month."

"A month?! Are you serious?!"

"Quite." Stark dragged the palm of his hand down his face in frustration.

"I must go Stark. I'm counting on you to pass the message, word for word. Oh and one more thing..."

"What's that?'

"...Don't drink and drive." With that, Aizen hung up, the dial tone sounding. He sighed, shutting the phone and putting it back in Ulquiorra's pocket. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut tightly.

"I'm too tired to deal with this shit..." Getting up from his crouching position, he stretched out his legs and began walking towards the unoccupied second couch. Flopping down on his belly, he snuggled up on one of the pillows and drifted quickly off to sleep. Before long however, the others seemed to notice his sudden presence. Grimmjow was the first on the scene.

"Lookie" he said, his finger pressed against Starks nose. "Is...uh..."

"Oh! Is the mailman!" Halibel said happily, joining Grimmjow by the couch. "I sees him on television all the time!"

"He looks like my daddy..." Ichigo inquired, trying to look for his missing pants. Ulquiorra melted by him, joining the other two.

"Well you're all wrong." Nnoitra declared, shoving past the Shinigami and the Espada that gathered by the couch side. "It's just an intruder who's lost his way in our house. Now we gotta make him pay."

"How do we do that, Noi-Noi?"

"With this." He pulled out a black, permanent marker from behind his ear, displaying to for all to see. Stupidly, the group awed.

"It's like a bootiful angel..." Ulquiorra said. Nnoitra grinned.

"With this, we shall put a new face on this intruder. Then he will never come into our house ever again." Giggling evilly to himself, Nnoitra began to draw a mustache on the slumbering Espada's face, the others watching in excitement.

"He looks like Barney!" Halibel said.

"He looks like your mom." Grimmjow muttered, Grimm sitting next to him. "This is boring. Can we do somethin' else?"

"Well we can always play Monster after this..." Nnoitra muttered, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he drew airplanes all over Stark's brow. "Does that sound like a good idea?"

"Hell yeah!"

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

It was around 3:30 in the morning when Grimmjow finally woke up from his slumber. Opening his red, bloodshot eyes, he sat up from his awkward position on the floor.

"Ugh, my head..." he growled, sitting up stiffly. He blinked heavily, trying to get used to the darkness. Putting two and two together he realized he was asleep on the living room floor. Next to him was Ulquiorra, eagle spread on his stomach, snoring softly. Shaking his head, he stood up on his feet, wobbly in the knees. He couldn't remember exactly when or how he fell asleep, but judging by his drinking habits, he probably passed out. Looking down, he had also realized that he was out of his gigai.

_I'm afraid to know how that happened..._

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he stumbled through the room and into the kitchen. Hitting the wall a couple of times, he managed to make it through the open doorway and to the refrigerator. Gripping the handle, he struggled to open the door, stopping only to examine himself on a mirror magnet. "What the hell...?" he mumbled, staring at the stream of blood that cascaded down his forehead, ending at his chin. He touched, the liquid completely dried onto his skin and on the bandages that encircled his forehead.

"...Well at least it doesn't look like shit..." he agreed, going back to rummaging through the fridge. At the moment, he had a thumping headache and needed something cold. He probably should have looked through the freezer instead, but he was too lazy, so he kept rummaging. Eventually, he found a small juice box and pressed it against his forehead in dull pain. Standing up as strait as he could, he closed the fridge door, only to turn face to face with the Shinigami.

"Aha!" Ichigo yelled triumphantly, pointing towards the groggy Grimmjow. "I knew it! You are Grimmjow Jeagerjaques!" Grimmjow blinked, trying to think of an answer. Well, a clever one anyway.

"Uh...no I'm not." Ichigo furrowed his brow in anger.

"Don't play dumb with me, what are you doing here in the Human World!?"

"The Human Wawa?"

"The Human World you dumb ass!"

"Shut up!" Grimmjow yelled back. "I don't know what you're talking about, alright!?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow, putting his hand on his hips.

"Huh...is that so? Then how is it that you can see me? I'm out of my gigai."

"Uh..."

"And if you're not Grimmjow, why is it that you have a jaw bone attached to the outside of your cheek?"

"...I...have lock jaw."

"Lock jaw doesn't look like that you idiot!" Ichigo yelled, pressing his face against Grimmjow's.

"Yes it does!" They glared at each other before Ichigo pulled back, huffing angrily.

"Fine...then why do you have that massive hole in your stomach?" He glanced at the body part in question, careful not to let his eyes linger too long on that well defined chest. Grimmjow stood there, quiet. Ok, so this was going to be harder to explain than he thought. But he had to think of something to get himself out of this mess.

"I...have...an eating disorder." The silence was deafening. Grimmjow smiled cheekily for emphasis, but the blank look on Ichigo's face didn't seem to go in his favor.

"Wow...after all these weeks of fighting you, I never thought you were this retarded." Ichigo finally said, his expression staying the same. Grimmjow sighed, taking a seat on the floor.

"Fine, I admit it, I'm Grimmjow..." He stared at the Espada before joining him on the floor.

"So what are you doing here?" Grimmjow glared at him, the apple juice box held up on his forehead.

"Aizen said we could have a vacation here" he said casually, ignoring the Shinigami's somewhat surprised look. "I thought he was on crack, but it turns out he was serious. So, to make the story short, I asked the Quincy to keep you from figurin' out my identity by pretending' to be my friend."

"That plan doesn't exactly work when you mix booze into the equation..." Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of booze, why aren't you wobblin' like a duck? I gave you a pill, man!" Ichigo had thought about it for a minute, looking up at the ceiling. Coming up with nothing, he shrugged.

"I guess my body is just used to abuse..."

"Oh...do you want some cookies?" Ichigo frowned.

"Why would I want some cookies from you? You're an Espada and as such, you'd probably poison them. So no thank you."

"Well thanks for shootin' down my honest offer.

"When were you ever honest?"

"Lots of times!" Grimmjow said, trying to defend himself. "I may be an Espada, but even then I have a heart to realize that I can be as good as your stupid ass. I'm simply here on vacation and don't plan to kill you until this is all done and over with. I'm not gonna make you believe me, but if you were smart you'd realize I don't want to kill you and just want to spend the time here relaxing. Got it, Strawberry freak?" Ichigo blinked, taking in all the information.

"Uh...well then..." he said, scratching the back of his head. "I guess since you're so passionate about all this...I guess you're telling the truth..."

"Damn right I'm tellin' the truth!" He opened the bottom cabinet next to him, pulling out a plastic box of cinnamon cookies. "So do you want some cookies now?"

"Sure."

**Well...at least it's long. Please review! Thanks!!**


	10. My Goodies

**I'd just like to take a moment to thank all of my reviewers!! I was going to wait and thank you all when I reached my first 100 reviews on a single story, but this is good too. Without all this support, I would probably be dead XD Well, not really. Oh and I'd also like to say that I don't come up with everything in this story. My sister actually helps me with the plot and some funny moments as well, so praise her too!**

**PS Sorry this took a little while. I was sick. D8**

**CH 10: My Goodies**

"So...we're stuck here then?"

"Well I wouldn't say stuck...more like separated."

"That doesn't change the fact that we're not going back to Las Noches until Aizen reopens Garganta."

"Well what if he takes too long? We can't stay here forever. Retard over here might end up blowing something up in the process."

"Don't say it so loudly. He might hear you. Anyway, if he takes too long to open Garganta, we'll have to use our powers to find another passageway to open."

"If we find one, what should we name it?"

"How about Ano?" Ichigo began to stir from his slumber, the distant laughter coming into earshot. He began to open his eyes, but his body refused to cooperate and he soon fell back to sleep. During this moment in time, however, Nnoitra began his ritualistic walk into the kitchen, his eyes somewhat droopy. In his hand he held a cup of tea, the liquid swooshing with his somewhat sloppy movements. His walk was interrupted halfway however, when he caught sight of the slumbering Ichigo. The Shinigami sat on the ground Indian Style, his back leaning against the refrigerator door. A box of cookies lay at his side, half of the treats strewn across the floor. The part that made the Espada gag was when he noticed Grimmjow, out of his gigai, sleeping in the teens lap.

"What. The. Hell." Nnoitra mumbled to himself, approaching the two. Upon closer inspection, he noticed Ichigo's hand draped over Grimmjow's head, as if he had been previously petting him. Grimmjow's head was where it probably shouldn't have been, one of his hands snaked around Ichigo's waist. Both of them had cookie crumbs all over their faces, explaining the mess that was currently being picked up by Grimm. Still, that didn't help the fact that the longer Nnoitra stared at them, the more he wanted to beat them both into the ground. Folding his arms across his chest, he made a sour face.

"Well you two seem to be enjoying yourselves!" he barked out, startling the sleeping men. Ichigo was the first to respond, his eyes immediately locking with Nnoitra's.

"It's not what it looks like!" He said stupidly, trying to get over the fact that he was just sleeping seconds before. Nnoitra simply glared daggers at the boy, wishing he could just gut him right then and there, had it not been that law Aizen-sama had given them. "Uh...oh...hi..."

"Hello _Kurosaki Ichigo_." he replied icily. "Having fun down there?" Ichigo opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the shuffling body of Grimmjow. The Espada opened his eyes groggily, sitting up in the process.

"Ugh..." he muttered, looking around without a real target. "Five more minutes Mommy..." Nnoitra glared at him, his lips pressed together thinly. Looking at him for a few more seconds, he turned his attention back to the Shinigami.

"So he's told you?" he asked flatly. Ichigo shrugged.

"Yeah..." Wasting no time, Nnoitra huffed, turning to leave.

"Figures." Leaving the two behind, the Espada entered the living room where a heated discussion was taking place. Not exactly caring, he took a seat next to Aporro who had just taken his 3rd bath that morning. The rosebud scent was enough to piss Nnoitra off.

"Do you insist on smelling like dog shit for the rest of the day?" he asked irritably, staring hard at the partially conscious man next to him. Aporro growled, turning his back on Nnoitra, busying himself with the towel on his head.

"Do you insist on being this loud for the rest of your life?" he shot back, his words still somewhat slurred together. Nnoitra, unable to think of a comeback, simply glared at the Espada.

"Are you done yet?" Tousen interrupted, raising an eyebrow at the two. "We're kinda trying to discuss our next plan of action..."

"A plan of action for what?" Nnoitra asked, trying to get comfortable on the couch.

"Aizen cut off Garganta. Now we can't go back until he reopens it again." Stark informed.

"Say what?!" Nnoitra exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "Why in the hell did he do that?" An irritated group sigh followed.

"To keep this scene as short as possible, Aizen was jumped and cut off all possible entries to Hueco Mundo. Now we can't go back until he feels the place is secure once more." Aaroniero informed him flatly. "Really, Nnoitra. You shouldn't be so disconnected with the group when something big like this is happening." Nnoitra sat back down, scowling at the man. He didn't know much about personal Shinigami history, but he was told Aaroniero's gigai resembled one named Kaien something-or-other.

"Well I'm sorry I was busy interrogating the Shinigami that's sleeping on our kitchen floor at the moment..."

"I really don't think that's important anymore..." Halibel said, an ice pack held up to her forehead. "What we should really be worrying about is our stay here."

"Well I say our first plan of action should be to get jobs." Gin said cheerfully, standing up on the coffee table to get everyone's attention. "Since we are not guaranteed anymore Yen from Aizen, then we should at least have another sure way of getting' some."

"How are we supposed to get jobs though?" Yami asked, his brow furrowed. "We don't exactly have qualifications from this world..." Gin stared at him for a few seconds.

"...We can always lie."

"You can't lie on a resume!" Aporro exclaimed. "People check that stuff out you know!" Gin huffed, putting his hands on his hips.

"Well pardon me for trying to find a living. What do you suggest we do then?" Aporro adjusted his glasses before answering.

"Find a job without lying. Or become bums for the rest of our lives." Gin made a face.

"That doesn't sound very pleasant at all."

"So I suppose it's decided then." Tousen pitched in, a dog bowl in his hands and Grimm at his feet excitedly. "We are to find jobs to account for the money loss we shall be experiencing for the next month."

"Oh! Can we go in groups?!" Aaroniero asked excitedly, sticking his hand in the air. "I like groups."

"Fine, we'll go in pairs." Gin ordered. "Sober with Hungover."

"Who says we're still hungover?!" Nnoitra said angrily. "We're all capable of going by ourselves."

"Oh really?" Halibel challenged, crossing her arms across her chest. "Because last time I checked, Ulquiorra has been sitting there for the past 30 minutes, unconscious and unresponsive. He might even be dead and we wouldn't know it happened." Simultaneously, the group turned to look at the Espada in question. The man sat snuggly on one of the couches, his legs crossed heavily. His pale hands were placed neatly in his lap, his head down. Everything seemed so peaceful about him, except for the part where he clearly wasn't breathing. Nnoitra huffed, pressing his lips together.

"Fine...we'll go in groups..." Gin clasped his hands together happily, his trademark grin appearing on his face once more.

"Excellent. Now, the groups are as follows: Tousen with Wonderweiss, Stark with Nnoitra, Yami with Barragan, Halibel with Ulquiorra, Aporro with Aaroniero an-"

"Uh, Good Morning..." Ishida said quietly, emerging from his guest room for the first time that morning. He stood in the doorway, countless eyes on him for a reason he couldn't find. Well, when he thought about it, there wasn't this many people in the house when he had gone off to bed the night before. Some of them looked rather familiar if he stared long enough and all of them seemed huddled up together like a Rugby team. Still, he managed to shrug off his thoughts, even if he did find one or two of them qualified for that type of sport. "...Where's Kurosaki?"

"He's in the kitchen, next to the refrigerator." Nnoitra explained flatly. With that, the group went back to its previous business, discussing things Ishida had rather not find out. It was, after all, not his place to be eavesdropping on conversations that didn't involve him.

In fact, it wasn't his place at all. He groaned, hitting himself in the head for thinking much too hard that morning. Instead, he directed his way into the kitchen, his attention on trying to find his possibly hung over friend.

"Uh, Kurosaki? It's kinda late and I think we should - WHAT THE HELL?!"

Or not.

"Ishida! This isn't what it looks like!" Ichigo exclaimed, trying to get up from his position on the floor. The limp body of Grimmjow was draped over him, drool excessively leaving the larger mans mouth. The Shinigami himself was out of his gigai, his Zanpakuto painfully wedged between his backside and the floor. "He took advantage of me, I swear!"

"Kurosaki, are you blind?! That man has on an Espada uniform!" He paused. "He has a hole in his stomach!" Ichigo stopped, successfully pushing the man off of him and stood up to brush himself off.

"Oh...well yeah, that too." He gathered his thoughts together, trying to ignore the astonished look on Ishida's face. "See, last night this idiot decided to wake up and come look for a snack or something. Me, still being completely sober despite the odd display of affection and molestation last night, decided to see what he was up to and to find out of my hunch was really correct. It turns out that, your friend Jacques is actually Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the 6th Espada. Because of your previous statement, I had also found out that you deliberately lied to me, so i just assumed you knew before I did and that he threated you to not tell me about anything. Am I right?" Ichigo grinned triumphantly, watching as Ishida regained his composure by adjusting his glasses.

"Actually Kurosaki, he told me to lie to you because of a deal we had. I never questioned his reasons why he wanted to keep his identity to a bare minimum, but it appears the reason was as follows: Once you take a look at his gigai, he doesn't appear to look much different, so the only assumption I can come up with is he didn't want you to dwell on any idea that he could possibly look like himself in his Espada form." He gave a small smile. "The threat still remains however, so you got that part right." He frown returned as he gave a sharp look at the body of Grimmjow. "But one question still remains. Well, two; what does he want and is he the only one here?" Ichigo scratched the back of his head slowly, his eyes scanning the floor.

"I dunno...I'm still trying to get over the fact that you figured out the plot so far in a matter of seconds." Ishida smiled.

"I'm just good like that."

"Clearly...so, what should we do now?"

"Well, there are a lot more people here than I remember form last time. Since Grimmjow's here, I have a feeling we should investigate." Smiling, Ichigo walked past the Quincy, heading for his gigai that he realized he had misplaced.

"Sounds like a plan."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"So...what are we doing again?" Grimmjow asked 2 hours later. Ichigo shrugged, walking down the sidewalk next to the Espada.

"How am i supposed to know? I'm just following you to make sure you don't do anything even remotely evil or diabolical." Grimmjow growled, throwing his hands up in the air.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm on_ vacation_. V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N. Want me to spell it in Spanish now or are we good?" Ichigo rolled his eyes, expanding the distance between himself and the Espada. A couple of hours ago, the two were unexpectedly paired up to go job hunting. It was something about not having contact with someone but Ichigo didn't press the issue. Instead, he agreed to follow Grimmjow around to find a job. He was going to make sure it wasn't an evil one.

"That gigai makes you look fat by the way." He muttered, casting a quick glance at Grimmjow. Grimmjow stopped, his face turning a deep shade of red.

"YOU LIE!" He yelled, pointing a finger at Ichigo who had continued to walk ahead.

Meanwhile, in another part of town, Nnoitra and Stark were looking over a Help Wanted board in front of a building.

"How about a Bartender?" Stark suggested, pointing to a small slip of paper that was tacked on the board. "That sounds like a good job for you."

"It _sounds_ like a good job..." Nnoitra muttered, leaning on the board with his arms crossed. "But what is it exactly?" Stark read the fine print on the slip, but ended up shrugging.

"I don't know."

"Well that doesn't sound like a very fun job now does it?"

"Not really."

"So find another one." Stark did as he was told and again found another slip of paper tacked to the board. Like that wasn't a big surprise.

"How about a clown for Juveniles in the local Correctional Institution? You get to wear a wig." Nnoitra sighed, considering the evil undertone of the job.

"...How much do I get paid?" Stark pulled the piece of paper from the board, flipping it over and over again to find the desired information.

"Uh...it says it varies. I guess you have to be really good to get paid a lot." Nnoitra sighed once more, plucking the paper from Starks fingers.

"I'll consider it..." he said flatly, folding up the piece of paper and sticking it in his jeans pocket. "Do you see anything else for me or you?" Stark took another good look at the board, stroking his soul patch in thought and concentration. In a matter of minutes, he had found a piece of paper that struck his interest. Pulling it from the board, he read it over, a smile on his lips. Nnoitra gave him a weird glance. "...what'd you find?"

"A good job." Nnoitra made an irritated sound, getting up from the board and began to walk away.

"Don't get smart with me...I didn't even want to do this..." Slipping the piece of paper in his pocket, Stark followed after the lanky Espada, letting out a load yawn. Resisting the urge to strangle the rest of his breath out of him, Nnoitra's attention was suddenly caught by a familiar sight a couple of yards ahead. "Wait." He held out his arm, Stark bumping into it out of surprise. He stepped back, rubbing his chest.

"Ow, why did you stop?" Before answering his question, Nnoitra grabbed the man by the arm and pulled him with him in a nearby bush. It was shaped like a Sumo Panda. Crouching down, Nnoitra dug a hole through the Panda's stomach, peering through while Stark regained his senses. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" He hissed, rubbing his head.

"I'm spying." Nnoitra answered. "Look at that." Sighing, Stark did as he was told and looked through the grass, the scene familiar.

"Look at what? All I see is commuters and shops." Exasperated, Nnoitra pointed towards a pair of men walking down the sidewalk towards their direction.

"No, dumb ass, I meant those two." Stark squinted, trying to get a good look at the two odd looking people in question.

"You mean...Grimmjow and Ichigo? Well what about them?"

"Don't you see how...content they are with each other?" Nnoitra growled, clenching his fists. "This morning I found them all over each other like there was no tomorrow. It's like they don't even take into consideration my feelings about their togetherness." He fell silent for a few minutes, watching as the two walked right passed them and up to the Help Wanted Board. Ichigo pointed to a few ads and began to talk to Grimmjow, their conversation out of ear shot. Nnoitra assumed Grimmjow had said something funny though, because Ichigo began to laugh, the sound painfully echoing in Nnoitra's eardrums. His brow furrowed deeper by the second, his expression slowly changing from anger to pure, utter disgust and fury. "Those bastards...don't you agree Stark?"

"...Stark?" He looked to his side, expecting to see the higher Espada play Peeping Tom along with him. Instead, he found him curled up on the ground, fast asleep with drool coming out of his mouth. "DON'T FALL ASLEEP ON ME NOW RETARD!" he yelled. Grabbing him by the collar, Nnoitra furiously shook Stark, trying to get him to wake up again. When Stark refused, Nnoitra huffed and dropped the man back onto the ground in a heap. Standing up, he began to brush himself off. "Ugh, whatever. At least you're out of the way now." Stepping over Stark, Nnoitra tried to get as close to the other two as possible without being detected. In the meantime, Grimmjow and Ichigo were in a heated discussion at the Help Wanted Board.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you'd look cute in a swimsuit."

"Oh, so now you think I'm cute? 10 minutes ago you said I was fat!"

"No, I said your gigai was fat. There's a difference you know. Besides, if you take this job, you can work it out. You know, make it fit again instead of having it look like Sloppy Joe."

"Who the hell is Sloppy Joe?" Ichigo shrugged.

"I dunno. I think it's a type of food in America or something like that..."

"Oh..." The two fell silent after that, either staring off into space or at the board. After a while, Ichigo opened his mouth to say something when something cut him off. Blinking, he looked towards a set of bushes that stood a few feet away from them, watching them busily decorate the front of an office.

"Hey Grimmjow, did you hear that?" Grimmjow turned to look at Ichigo, then at the bushes in question.

"Hear what?" Ichigo strained his ears, trying to catch the rustling noise again. Instead, all he heard was the breeze. "You do realize you sound crazy, right?" Ichigo shook his head, erasing the suspicion from his mind.

"Never mind then. Come on, let's go find another Help Wanted Board." The two took off in another direction, unaware that another Espada was following them in the bushes. Still, even as they continued on their search for a job for Grimmjow, Ichigo still managed to grow suspicious once more of the environment. Every once in a while he'd turn around, searching with his eyes through the bushes and shrubbery for some kind of follower. But every time, he found none.

30 minutes later, he found himself waiting for Grimmjow outside of a fast food restaurant. He had sent the Espada in to have a talk with the manager and see if he could land a job. What he didn't expect was Grimmjow to run out of the front door and off towards the house. Wasting no time, Ichigo ran after him, quickly matching his speed.

"What the hell happened?!" Ichigo yelled, trying his hardest not to run into anyone. "Getting that job was supposed to be easy!" Grimmjow gave him a quick glance, his expression somewhat worried.

"Just shut up and keep running! I'll tell you about it later!"

"Did you kill someone?!" Ichigo asked frantically, assuming the worst. Grimmjow was, after all, known for having a rather short temper. Grimmjow took a sharp turn, ending up in a sort of food court with his speed never faltering. In fact, he was getting faster.

"I said I'll tell you later!!" Not wanting to lose him, Ichigo continued to follow him, his mouth closed tightly. Many growing feet behind them, Nnoitra gave chase.

_Damnit, why are you running so fast?! _He thought furiously to himself, giving up on hiding and instead simply ran in the open to keep up with them. Because he was totally focused on catching up with the two, he couldn't avoid running into a few people, mostly the elderly. He followed the two through crowds, around corners, over bridges and in and out of stores. Not knowing why they were running or where they were going, Nnoitra soon began to get very tired and slowed down considerably. "Damnit..." he huffed, his heart thumping wildly from the sudden need to run. Before long he lost them and found himself leaning over with his hand on his knee. His other hand was on a wall as an attempt to keep himself from falling over. Beads of sweat formed on his brow, his mouth hanging wide open to help him gulp down much needed air. After somewhat catching his breath, he stood up strait again and began walking off in his previous direction. "How do they do it...?" he muttered to himself, his feet shuffling slowly across the crowded, cement walkway.

"Hi Noi." Nnoitra blinked, looking over to his side just as Stark rejoined him. The shorter man smiled up at him, despite the obvious permanent bags under his eyes. He raised an eyebrow at the sudden company.

"Where'd you come from?" Stark thought about the question for a few seconds before shrugging.

"I dunno. You were just easy to find I guess...so where are you going?"

"I was following Jacques and that bastard, but I lost them not too long ago..." Wiping his brow with the back of his hand, Nnoitra took a break by a shaded wall, leaning against the corner portion. Stark followed suit, resting right beside him. Stark smiled, staring as Nnoitra tried to breathe normally.

"You're not a very good runner, are you?"

"Shut up." Stark chuckled, changing the subject.

"So, did you find out where they were going?" Nnoitra shook his head. "Are you gonna give up?"

"Are you crazy?!" Nnoitra shot back, causing Stark to jump at the sudden outburst. "Like hell I'm gonna let those two have their alone time! Ichigo's gonna take advantage of him again and brainwash Grimmjow like he did last night!" Stark let the information sink in, somewhat considering them.

"But Jacques was drunk last night."

"Well I'm going to make that bastard pay for what he did. Maybe do something to make him jealous or something like that..."

"You're not making any sense you know..."

"I don't ca-"

"I think we lost them." The two turned towards the sudden familiar voice. At first they only saw the small groups of people that leisurely walked by them in to hurry. Then they saw the familiar blue hair of Grimmjow. The flustered Espada emerged from the corner of a large building, followed by the ever so tired Ichigo. The two started to walk in their direction, both of them out of breath. Before he knew it Nnoitra began to panic, trying to think of something to follow up with his plan to make Grimmjow undoubtedly jealous; And then it hit him.

"Hi Jacques!" Stark called out happily, waving his hand in the air to grab the mans attention. Looking up at his name, Grimmjow gave Stark a small grin, tiredly walking towards him with Ichigo in tow. "Long time no se-" Without warning, Stark was cut off as Nnoitra grabbed him by his shoulders ans forced him into the corner of the wall. Before he had time to register what was going on, Nnoitra closed the gap in between them, forcefully kissing the stunned Espada on the lips. Time seemed to slow down for every single bystander as they watched Nnoitra and Stark share a deep, questionable kiss together. Mothers covered the eyes of their children, the elderly attempted to resist imminent heart attacks and Grimmjow simply stood there and stared. Even Ichigo was appalled, trying to find a reason behind the sudden hormonal urge by the tall lanky one. The situation wasn't improved on the other side. Starks eyes widened as he stared into Nnoitra's, a look of horror written all over his face. Nnoitra ignored him however and gave him his best commanding stare.

Then finally, after a long, painful 5 seconds, Nnoitra broke the kiss, his hands still tightly gripping Starks shoulders. Grinning, Nnoitra turned to look at Grimmjow.

"That was the best kiss ever." He said slyly, watching Grimmjow's expression change from blank to what seemed to be anger. When he finally regained his senses, Grimmjow turned in the other direction and stormed off, Ichigo humbly following him and disappeared in the crowd. Nnoitra widened his grin, hardly noticing the harsh punch to the face that sent him toppling to the ground in an unconscious heap.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

**Yay! Chapter 10 is done! Please review! Thank you very much!**


	11. Buzz Part 1

**I grossed myself out while writing this chapter XD**

**CH 11: Buzz Part 1**

Grimmjow wouldn't deny it; he was mad as hell. Moments ago he had just witnessed Stark and Nnoitra swapping saliva with each other in the food court of the local mall. It wasn't even an innocent kiss either; He could have sworn he saw Nnoitra slip his tongue inside Stark's mouth. The thought made his blood boil hotter than the surface of the sun on a summer day. If only he hadn't run off so quickly, he might have been able to separate the two through means of choking and strangling either one of them. But he chose to walk on, Ichigo trailing right behind him.

"Where are we going now, Grimmjow?" Ichigo asked, somewhat irritable. He received a simple grunt from the taller man and nothing more. In fact, the man picked up his pace, his back ridged, his neck turning a slight pink color. Ichigo addressed him again, receiving the same blank answer.

_Is he embarrassed?_

"Kurosaki!" Shaking the thought from his head, Ichigo turned his attention towards the waving Ishida. Unsure of whether Grimmjow would notice his sudden disappearance, the Shinigami changed direction and headed towards his waiting friend. Ishida greeted him with his usual stoic expression, an ice cream cone in his hand.

"Well?" Ichigo asked.

"I didn't find anything unusual in their behavior." Ishida explained, adjusting his glasses. He licked his melting chocolate ice cream before continuing. "I chose to tag along with L. Kiora and Hailey and apparently, they have no intentions of attacking us or humanity." Ichigo sighed.

"I just witnessed two of them snog each other."

"What?"

"I don't know." Ichigo hugged his waist with one arm, his other hand stroking his chin thoughtfully. "Anyway, I guess we can just assume they aren't doing anything evil or menial...for now."

"Would you like to go home then?" Ishida asked quietly. Ichigo thought of the option then shrugged, smiling.

"Sure, why not? I gotta tinkle anyway."

"Chad and Rukia have also been wondering where we have been for the past two days." he supplied happily. "Perhaps we can visit them and have lunch."

"Uh...sure thing." The Shinigami gave him a weird look before the two started to walk off, the Espada well fit in the back of their heads. Meanwhile, inside the building Ishida was guarding, a quiet transaction was taking place. Inside, within the walls of a small office, a plump man with a stained shirt was gathering up equally oily paper from his desk, shoving it towards the clients across from him. His thick, brown mustache hid his possibly fake grin.

"Well, it seems you two fit this position rather well. It's almost as if you were made for this job, though it rarely happens."

"We thank you for the compliment, sir."

"Oh posh, you don't have to call me 'sir' anymore. You can just call me Phil. I'm not important enough to have such a high ranking title." He gave out a pig like laugh, pulling out a dirty handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the drool from his mouth before continuing. The two in question cringed ever so slightly, their hands kept firmly in their, now considered highly sanitized, laps. "By the way, what did you say your names were again?"

"I'm L. Kiora."

"I'm Hailey." Phil stopped, registering the names in his head.

"L. Kiora and...Hailey, huh? Sounds American...or Greek."

"Sure, let's go with that." Halibel said, trying to speed up the application process. She didn't think she could handle the smell of rotting meat in the air anymore. She looked over at her partner, trying to read his blank expression. Sensing her, he gave her a quick glance, his eyes screaming, "Help me Halibel, I can't breathe!" Once again, even an Espada had their limits. Phil was oblivious.

"Well, then I'll have you sign here and here" he said, pointing to different sections of the paper he had handed them in the beginning. "After that, I'll send these papers up to my boss and you'll be officially part of our team here at Google: Tokyo." Pulling out a pen from his jacket, Ulquiorra signed the contract first, making sure no part of his body or jacket touched the table. He then handed the pen over to Halibel, watching her repeat his actions. When she finished, Phil took back the papers, eying their signatures. "I'll give this to the boss ASAP and he'll call you to let you know when your first day is, alright?"

"Okay."

"Understood." All three of them stood up, signaling the end of the meeting. After reluctantly shaking hands with the man, the two Espada left the building, simultaneously taking deep breathes of the fresh, outside air.

"I am never...going back in there again..." Halibel said, trying to resist the urge to vomit.

Ulquiorra wasn't as lucky.

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Who's missing?" Gin asked sometime later.

"Halibel and Ulquiorra." Aporro answered, looking around the large living room. Gin thought for a minute, tilting his head to the side.

"Did you call them to remind them we were meeting at our house?" Aporro nodded, lounging on the luxurious couch as usual. Before, the group had agreed to meet up at the second house. But when they realized that it was too cramped, even when they all wore their gigai, they changed plans to meet up at the mansion. Needless to say, it was a much more comfortable fit.

"Maybe they're lost?" Stark offered, making himself comfortable next to Aporro.

"Ulquiorra is not stupid enough to get lost you idiot." Nnoitra countered, never meeting the higher Espada's eyes. Even if he wanted to he couldn't, due to his black eye. He sighed, finally realizing what it was like to be Tousen.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you, Nnoitra." Stark said flatly. "You were lucky enough I had the courtesy to drag your pathetic body back here."

"What happened between you two, by the way?" Aaroniero asked curiously. "I heard it was pretty epic, from what Grimmjow said."

"Where is Grimmjow anyway?" Yami asked.

"He went upstairs to sulk in the bathroom." Barragan answered, sighed heavily. "Ha! Children these days are so easily broken by intimacy." Stark sat up suddenly from the Espada's comment, his face turning red. Red from what was unknown.

"That was not intimate! That was sexual harassment!" Barragan folded his arms across his chest.

"Says you."

"Anyway" Nnoitra interrupted. "Nothing happened that concerns any of you." Before anyone could pester them further, the front door opened, allowing two very weary Espada to enter.

"We're back..." Halibel said, trying to hold Ulquiorra up in a standing position.

"What the hell happened to you two?" Aporro asked, sitting up on the couch. Halibel shrugged, seating the weak Ulquiorra on the floor by her feet.

"We uh...got lost..." Almost every raised an eyebrow at her, before finally shrugging it off.

"So I'm guessing you guys didn't get jobs then..." Yami inquired. Halibel put a hand on her hip, scratching the top of her head in thought.

"Well we kinda did. It was at some place called Goggle or Google...some kind of American based job. Their servants are beastly though. I think one of them was a pig too..." Aporro scrunched up his face, sticking out his tongue.

"That's gross..."

"I know. But while we were out, we decided to find another route to making money." She pulled out a piece of paper from her bosom, holding it out for all to see. The others stayed silent, allowing her to continue. "They say many people each day do this kind of thing, though only a handful gets the grand payment. It's not too hard to get in because there are hardly any requirements and if we stick together, I think we can all get a little something for the efforts."

"That sounds like a good idea..." Aporro thought, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"Plus, if it's enough money, none of us will have to work." Aaroniero added happily.

"Can you remind me again, what this 'new route' is called?" Nnoitra asked irritably, massaging his eye. Halibel smiled, unfolding the piece of paper and showed it to the rest of them. The front was all black, save for the spine of an animal. All the ribs were broken off except for four of them, one word to the right of the picture. Halibel couldn't help but feel rather smug with herself.

"Reality Television."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Why are we here in the United States again?"

"For the money, duh."

"What money?"

"The only money that will help support us until Aizen decides to come back."

"Oh...This is so boring...I don't want to be here..."

"Would you stop complaining?!"

"Well I would if I wasn't here, dumb ass!"

"No one invited you! You followed us here!"

"Well I felt like following you."

"You're so dumb."

"So's your face!"

"Where'd you learn that, an Elementary School?!"

"Shut up!"

"Hey!" Gin yelled, grabbing the attention of Stark and Nnoitra before they killed each other. "Stop acting like children and grow up for once, alright?!" Both immediately stood at attention, nodding their heads vigorously. Rolling his eyes, Gin turned back towards the many cameras and their leader.

"Remind me again why we're wearing these silly outfits..." He muttered to Aaroniero. He shrugged, pulling at his blue t-shirt and black cargo pants.

"It's for their entertainment, I suppose..." he muttered, examining his gray tennis shoes. "I mean I get the whole 'teams' thing, but why did it have to be blue, of all colors?"

"Because blue fucking rocks!" Grimmjow butted in, striking a superhero pose. "What, do you have a problem with the color blue?" Aaroniero crossed his arms across his chest, raising an eyebrow.

"As a matter of fact, I do..."

"Why you little-"

"Okay! Welcome back to tonight's season finale of Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Gauntlet 4!" The announcer blared out, facing away from the two groups. "I'm your host, T.J. Lavin and in just a few moments, we will witness the years most epic reality television battle ever!" He pointed towards the camera dramatically before turning to reintroduce the two teams. "Behind me are the teams that will be competing for the 300,000 prize: The Rookies-" He pointed towards the Espada. "vs. the Veterans!" He pointed towards the other group in red, both teams eying each other warily. Throughout the first portion of the game, Aporro had convinced their group to try to play fair, causing them to lose him, Halibel, Yami and Barragan. Grimmjow was now determined to cheat his way through the finals, his pride at stake. Ulquiorra had decided to follow him, but only after he was assured the plan would follow through, seeing as it was Grimmjow's idea. On the sidelines, Tousen, Little Grimm and Wonderweiss watched, unable to participate for obvious reasons. Joining them were the eventual Espada losers, all of them hoping to the Gods Grimmjow knew what he was doing.

Grimmjow folded his arms across his chest, rolling his eyes at the dubbed "Veterans".

"We're gonna beat your ass in this last challenge." he muttered, loud enough for one of the opposing teammates to hear.

"You got that wrong, honey" the woman said defiantly. "We're gonna beat you down."

"Don't talk to him like that!" One of her teammates interrupted.

"Why the hell not?!"

"Because he's cute."

"He's not cute, he's a bitch."

"Did you just call my man a bitch?"

"What if I did, hoe?"

"Well then bring it on you hooker!" The two women suddenly got into a fist fight, their male team members and some of the producers trying to wrestle them away from each other. In the mean time, the Espada watched, amused by the short tempers of the women. Grimmjow was tempted to gut the girl that called him a bitch, but decided against it; he wanted that 300k and he wasn't to screw up now.

The fight lasted for a mere 30 seconds before everything calmed down. Calling for a quick commercial break, the host talked to the two girls separately, eventually coming back with a verdict while the two in question sobbed in the corner. Cuts and bruises covered their body, one of the girls tops ripped off completely.

"Sorry about that folks..." T. J. said nervously to the main camera, scratching the back of his head. "There was a tiny technical difficulty and now the Veterans are down by two members. This brings the Rookies at an advantage of one person."

Grimmjow couldn't help but smile. Though, constantly being called a "Rookie" did piss him off to no end, almost enough to want him to gut the host. But he would save that for another time. Right now he had to focus on the man's instruction.

"Our final round is affectionately named 'No Man's Land.' The route goes as follows." He pointed towards the course in the distance, the Veterans grimacing slightly. "First, you must climb your way up and around the 30 foot concrete wall. When you get down, it's a half a mile foot race to the bicycles where you will ride up the steep hill. Upon reaching the top, you will have to put the giant puzzle piece together. When you finish, you with run down the hill, swing over the river of quick sand, jump through the Ring O' Fire, capture a burglar, tackle a quarterback, get a perfect score in the ice skating competition, ride on Colossal from Disneyland, parachute safely down from a height of 2,000,000 feet from a biplane driven by one of your members and finally swim through our mock Nile River. If you can avoid the Megalodon and cross the underwater finish line, you will get the grand prize of 300,000!!"

"Tch, this is too easy." Grimmjow muttered, following the others to the start line.

"I agree..." Ulquiorra said, a bored expression on his face. "This challenge is much too juvenile."

"Says you!" One of the men said from the other team. "If this was so easy, why don't you still have all your team members?" His other mates laughed, Grimmjow having a difficult time staying in his gigai and avoiding a potential mass murder. Stark sighed, staring down the man who made the comment.

"At least they weren't disqualified." Stark smirked as the man immediately quieted down, unable to come up with a good come back. Stark mentally performed a victory dance.

"Are you ready?!" T.J. Yelled, waiting for all of them to stretch out quickly. He then pulled out a toy gun from his pocket, pointing it up in the air. "Go!" He yelled, preparing to pull the trigger. Suddenly, a huge sonic wave passed through, catching them off guard and toppling many of them to the ground. Dirt was picked up and flung into the form of a dust devil, disappearing as soon as the wind lifted.

"Hey!" One of the members of the Veterans said as soon as normal vision was restored. "Where the hell did they go?!" Blinking, T.J. Looked up and around, seeing nothing but the course.

"They're gone!" He exclaimed, using his hand as a visor. "It seems that the Rookies have gone missing!" He looked down, scratching the side of his head. "Well then...I suppose that means that, by default, the Veterans win!"

"Wait!" Aporro said, standing up from his seat. "Why don't you go check the finish line?"

"The finish line?" the host asked, raising an eyebrow. "What makes you think they're there?"

"The camera says they're there." Aporro casually pointed to one of the cameras. Upon closer inspection, T.J. Noticed that it was the one they had stationed at the finish line, along with two others. All three were pointed towards a group of drenched and slightly muddy people; the Rookies. Everyone's reaction was, to say the least, surprised.

"What the hell?!" The Team Captain from the Veterans yelled. "How did they get there so fast?!"

"I didn't even pull the trigger!" T.J. Added, his eyes wide. "This is so not humanly possible!" Still in shock, he trudged across the sidelines of the course, making his way steadily towards the group of waiting Espada. The others followed closely behind.

"So, where's our prize money?" Grimmjow asked him once he arrived.

"First you gotta tell me how you all got here in less than a second." he asked back. "You also have to explain to me why I shouldn't disqualify you right now."

"What did we do?" Ulquiorra asked flatly.

"Nothing too major. You just cheated, that's all."

"We did not cheat you incompetent boy!" Nnoitra snarled, balling up his fists.

"Do you have any proof that we cheated?" Stark asked, rolling his eyes at the lanky Espada. T.J. Smirked.

"As a matter of fact, I do." He turned towards one of cameras. "Roll the tape." The cameraman did as he was told, rewinding back to mere seconds before the race started. The view showed the two teams, waiting patiently at the start line. T.J. Then pointed the gun upwards, yelling "Go!". As soon as the words left his mouth, The Rookies vanished from the camera view, followed by the shock wave. Switching to the view of another camera, The Rookies showed up in a blur, looking as though they didn't just run through a tedious and potentially life threatening course.

"Well it looks like we were right." Grimmjow said triumphantly, grinning. The others agreed, asking for the money simultaneously.

"No, that can't be right!" the host protested. "Show it in super slow-mo!" he ordered. Once again, the clip was played, this time in Super Slow-Mo View. The scene played out slower than the first, but the story was the same; once T.J. Uttered the words "Go!", the Espada were gone in an instant, the sonic wave quickly covering the view. Frustrated, T.J. Prepared the tape for the most intense slow-mo capture you could possibly imagine; Codename Super Extra Ridiculously Intense Epic Slow Mo Squared View Divided by Pi. The Espada stood by bored as he set up the camera, rewinding back to the same scene, this time with the rarely used and possibly illegal Slow Mo device. Completely focused on the screen, he watched himself lift the gun for 2 hours. Uttering the single word for an hour, he turned his attention towards the still Espada, all the while his finger moving downwards to pull the trigger.

At first, they appeared to be casually standing, just like he would expected. However, after 30 minutes, he noticed Grimmjow suddenly made a face. His tongue stuck out, his eyes going off in different directions. Slouching, his chest suddenly lurched forward, his whole body moving as though he was being dragged. The others quickly followed suite, all of their suddenly limp bodies doing the same thing. A split second later, they had all appeared to have dragged themselves to the finish line, their bodies twitching for a moment before the regained their composure. A half an hour later, the shock wave appeared, dust flying everywhere. The proof seemed to be right there, broadcast live to all people of the United States.

What T.J. Couldn't get over was the fact that their movements looked so normal, compared to their slowed down surroundings. He turned towards the waiting group, his words dying on his tongue.

"How did you...when..." he sputtered. "How do you do that?!"

"We're just awesome like that." Nnoitra said.

"But why does it looked like you were being dragged?! We here in America don't run like that at all."

"Well that's because we Japanese have been naturally modified to go against the laws of physics." Aporro said quickly, adjusting his glasses. "Everyone should know that by now." T.J. Stared at them for a few more minutes, trying to find a legitimate reason to follow through with the disqualification. Coming up with nothing, he sighed. Sensing their victory, all the Espada held out their hands.

"We'd like our money now." Grimmjow said, unable to hide his growing smirk.

_I am so fucking cool._

**I'm sorry this took so long. I was busy with Senior Exhibition crap...but now that it's over, I'll try to update every week or so. Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	12. Buzz Part 2

**CH 12: Buzz Part 2**

It was a nice Saturday morning when Grimmjow and Ulquiorra found themselves sitting in a very sterile waiting room. In Grimmjow's lap was a small blue cage housing a very tired Little Grimm, his food bowl untouched. Every once in a while, you could hear a small cough come from within, shortly followed by the sound of ruffling bedding. Grimmjow couldn't help but twitch, sweat slowly forming on his brow. Ulquiorra on the other hand seemed content, picking up a magazine from the nearby table. The cover depicted a mother holding her pet dog, an annoying colored 'Your Pet and You' printed at the very top. The dog itself seemed terrified while the woman looked like she was uncomfortable about something. Ulquiorra couldn't put his finger on it and shrugged shortly afterwards, opening it to a random page and began reading.

"Relax Jacques..." Ulquiorra muttered, turning the page of the magazine with a gloved hand, not really reading what was written. Grimmjow turned sharply towards him when he heard his name, his teeth slightly barred. "There's nothing to worry about."

"There's everything to worry about!" Grimmjow yelled, jumping up to his feet. Ulquiorra looked up at him, giving him a death glare that could smite an unborn baby kitten.

"Sit down, Jacques."

"Little Grimm is dying and all you can say is 'don't worry'?!" People in the waiting room slowly became quiet, all of their attention on the highly flustered Espada. Ulquiorra kept his mascara surrounded glare, his jaw visibly clenching and lips pressing together in a thin green line.

"Don't make me tell you again. Calm down and-"

"No, _you_ calm down! I'm tired of you constantly putting me down and making me feel like complete shit! I can't even dream about that strawberry bastard without having your gray ass appear every single time!! You really think that you can tell me what to do with my life?! Well screw you bucko! I'm not going to have you rule my life anymore, understand that?! I am the Sexta Espada and don't you ever forget that you cheap hooker!!" Grimmjow huffed, Little Grimm's cage in a death grip. Inside, the dog was oblivious to what was happening, instead sleeping peacefully. Ulquiorra stared up at him for a few more silent minutes, his thoughts unknown.

"...Are you finished?" He finally asked quietly, going back to his magazine. Grimmjow huffed for a few more minutes before plopping back down in his seat, his head down and Little Grimm's cage on his lap.

"Yes sir." Suddenly, a nurse came out, a clipboard in hand. She had a bored expression on her face, her mouth busy chewing gum in the most obnoxious way possible. Luckily, Grimmjow didn't take notice, so she was going to live to see the next day.

"Uh...Mr. Eh...Spade...uh...?" she drawled out, looking down at her clipboard then up at the waiting people. Simultaneously, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra stood up, heading in her direction. She looked at the two, glancing down at the cage held securely in Grimmjow's hand. "Are you Mr. Eh Spade Uh?" She annunciated incorrectly. The two nodded, allowing her to lead the way down the white hallway and into a room. "Dr. Noriaki will be with you in a few minutes..." Taking a seat in the only chair in the room, Grimmjow waited. Ulquiorra stood quietly at the other side of the room, examining the posters illustrating different functions of the animal body. The room itself was small, containing only a weight scale and a table for small dogs to sit. Posters decorated the wall and the only window gave them a view of the neighboring freeway, a car crash happening simultaneously.

But I digress.

"Are you okay in there Little Grimm?" Grimmjow muttered, opening the cage to take out the sluggish dog. Placing the cage down on the floor, he began to cradle it like a baby. The dog looked up at him, whimpering slightly. The Espada's lower lip began to quiver, his eyes growing wide with concern. "Don't worry buddy. We'll get through this together. Just...keep hanging on and don't let go. Don't you dare let your little paw slip from my grasp."

"Please retain some of your dignity Grimmjow..." Ulquiorra said, raising an eyebrow at the man. "You look quite pathetic." Grimmjow shot a glare at him, little tears forming at the sides of his eyes.

"You're just jealous because my dog is still alive and you're not!"

"What?" Their conversation was disrupted when a small knock sounded, the large door opening right afterwards. Inside walked the presumed doctor; he was tall and lean, with tan skin and nicely combed hair. He was very clean shaved and his toothy, pearly white grin even rivaled the bright early sunshine. In short, he was all that and a bag of chips.

"Hello there" he greeted happily, shutting the door behind him and approaching Little Grimm. "I am Dr. Noriaki and I shall treat you today." He gave the three of them a small bow, Ulquiorra returning the courteous gesture. "How are we feeling today little fellow?" He crouched down to the dog's level, his long white coat swooshing in the process. Grimmjow pouted, answering.

"Little Grimm is sick; he won't eat his food, he's always tired and just this morning he started coughing his tired little lungs out!" The doctor nodded, writing down notes on a notepad he took out of his pocket.

"I see...well then, how about you put him up on the table and I'll take a look at him alright?" Solemnly following his orders, Grimmjow stood up and gently placed Little Grimm on the table. Immediately curling up in a ball, the dog tried to weakly resist the doctors prodding, eventually just lying on his back in defeat. All the while, Grimmjow peered over the doctors shoulder, standing on his tip toes despite his obvious height advantage. "Interesting..." the doctor kept muttering, pulling out various small devices to check the status of the dog.

"Is he gonna die?" Grimmjow asked feebly. Dr. Noriaki stood up, laughing at the Espada's statement.

"No, he's not going to die. But I would like to keep him here for further examination. Do you mind?"

"But I-"

"No, we don't mind." Ulquiorra cut in before Grimmjow could finish protesting. "When will you require our return?" Dr. Noriaki looked up in thought, tapping his pen against his pursed lips.

"How about this afternoon? Say, 5 o'clock?" He smiled, pulling out a clinic owned cage and placing it on the table beside Little Grimm. "Or if you'd like, I can give you a call. It's usually quicker that way when I have to deliver some bad news." Ulquiorra nodded in agreement, Grimmjow going pasty white from the possibility of never seeing his best friend in the entire world ever again. Opening the cage, the doctor reached for the dog, but missed as Grimmjow snatched him from his grasp. The doctor blinked, tilting his head at the Espada. "Um, you're supposed to give me the dog..." he mumbled quietly, trying to pry open Grimmjow's vice grip.

"But you'll hurt him!" he whined, hugging the dog close to his chest. Dr. Noriaki sighed, taking a hold on the dogs body, pulling him as hard as he could.

"Don't worry, I'm sure your dog will be fine."

"You're lying to me!!"

"No I'm not."

"How am I supposed to know that?! Did the government tell you to say that to me?!"

"Just let go of the dog already!" Huffing, the man put his foot on Grimmjow's shoulder. Pulling with all of his strength, he slowly but surely began to overcome the other man's strength. All the while, Ulquiorra watched on, unwrapping a lollipop he took from the candy box in the front office and sticking it in his mouth. Finally, after a long and excruciating dog tug fight, he decided to step in between them. With a stoic expression, Ulquiorra walked close to Grimmjow, staring at his death grip on the dog. Without so much as a warning, he reached up and pinched the Espada's neck. Instantly, Grimmjow was knocked out, slumping back in his seat. Because he was in mid tug, Dr. Noriaki fell backwards, the dog in his hands. Stumbling a few times, he managed not to fall and quickly regained his composure. "Well then..." he said, coughing slightly. Ulquiorra had gone back to sucking on his lollipop once more, eying Grimmjow's unresponsive body. After a few seconds, he proceeded to lift the body. "5 o'clock then?"

"5 o'clock." Ulquiorra confirmed, slinging Grimmjow over his shoulder. Waving goodbye, the small Espada left the doctors office and walked out to the front office. There he was met with a plump lady and was handed some release forms. As he filled them out, she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"Is he...?" she asked him quietly, pointing towards Grimmjow.

"He's fine." Giving her the signed papers, he nodded a goodbye. Trudging through the clinic and out to the sidewalk, he headed for the nearest bus stop.

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

It was a few hours later before Grimmjow finally regained consciousness. Opening his eyes slowly, he looked around haphazardly,

"Ugh...what's going on...?" he mumbled, his words slurring together.

"You were being unreasonable." Ulquiorra answered, turning the page of the magazine he was reading. Grimmjow put a heavy hand on his head, closing his eyes to make the room stop spinning. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he opened his eyes again and tried to clear his vision. From what he could tell at the moment, he was in a white and gray area and was currently sitting in a soft reclined chair. Looking down at his waist, he could see he was strapped in, causing him to become irritated.

"What the...hell?" he grumbled, grabbing the belt to try to take it off. Unfortunately, because he was only half awake, his dexterity was currently disabled. "Why am I...?"

"Stop messing with that." Aporro grunted, reaching over to slap his hands away from the belt. "We haven't been told to take them off yet." With his vision clearing, Grimmjow was able to glare at the scientist seated next to him, opposite of Ulquiorra.

"Do you care to explain why I'm belted down?" he growled.

"We're in a plane, stupid." Aporro said flatly, adjusting his glasses. "We would have told you sooner, but you were knocked out longer than Ulquiorra had anticipated. Nnoitra and Stark almost couldn't get your useless body on board." Grimmjow scratched his head, slowly processing the information.

"Well...how did they do it then?"

"They stuffed your gigai in a bag while the Shinigami dragged your body in with him." Grimmjow nodded, slowly accepting the information.

"Maybe that's why I feel so stiff...you guys couldn't come up with anything better? You could have at least thought of a way for me to come on board in a more grace - KUROSAKI IS HERE?!" With the sudden realization finally hitting him, he looked around frantically. "Where is that bastard!?" he growled, trying to spot the unmistakable puff of orange hair.

"Calm down Jacques, I'm up here." A slim finger suddenly poked the top of his head, causing his eyes to widen. Slowly looking up, his wide eyes locked onto those cursed brown ones. Ichigo gave him a small wave. "'Sup?"

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Grimmjow hissed, fighting to take off his simple seatbelt. The leather stretched to impossible lengths and he ferociously pulled it, the one click mechanism completely bypassing his thoughts. Ichigo shrugged, watching.

"Well one of my reasons for coming was to keep an eye on you guys and make sure you won't do anything illegal. But then I realized that you still hadn't told me why you had run out of that shop the other day." Grimmjow stopped in his attempts, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"Which shop?"

"The one I told you to get a job in, duh." Ichigo looked down at him, a frown on his face. "It'd be nice to know what happened. You know, in case it was illegal and horrific in any way, which I'm sure it was."

"It had better not have been illegal." Aporro cut in, giving Grimmjow a slight glare. "We've already had to deal with Nnoitra's hit and run incident this morning. I don't need to deal with whatever you're capable of screwing up."

"It's was totally not illegal." Grimmjow snorted. "Why would you automatically assume I did something?" Aporro and Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes I'm serious!" Grimmjow yelled, only to be elbowed slightly by Ulquiorra. He grunted in pain, grabbing his side.

"People will hear you." Ulquiorra explained, keeping his eyes on his magazine. Around them, the group began to get stares from his insistent yelling, the cabin almost full. Rolling his eyes, Grimmjow muttered something about killing them all.

"Just tell us what happened, alright?" Ichigo said. Grimmjow shook his head, crossing his arms across his chest. "Please?"

"No." Rolling his eyes, Ichigo sat back in his chair. On either side of him sat a sleeping Stark and Nnoitra. Behind them sat the others, all of them occupying the first half of their row.

"Fine. But I'm not going to get you out of it in the future when it comes to bite you in the ass." After a few silent minutes, a flight attendant came out from the front cabin, instructing everyone that the flight was about to begin. Grimmjow's eye twitched when she explained how to undo and redo the seatbelt, her bright smile never leaving her face. He made a mental note to kill her later. After giving them all a small bow, she left the way she came, the cabin slowly filling with chatter. Then a voice came over the loudspeaker.

"Hello and thank you for flying with us today at JAL Express. Today's flight will end at Florida in the United States, with a quick stop at Hokkaido. We hope you have a wonderful experience on and off the airplane. We will be taking off shortly, so please remain in your seats with your seatbelt securely locked until further notice."

"Oh, it's secure alright." Grimmjow muttered, earning a head slap from Aporro.

"Remember, a safe flight is a happy flight." The speakers turned off, leaving the passengers to themselves.

30 minutes later, the plane was cruising soundly through a light draft, 25,000 feet in the air and a quarter of the way to their first stop.

30 minutes later, Aporro wanted to kill himself.

"What's this do?" Grimmjow asked, pressing a mass of buttons station just above him. A hatch opened suddenly, a mask flopping down. Giggling, Grimmjow put it over his face, purposefully breathing heavily to watch the bag expand rapidly. When nothing else of interest happened, Grimmjow pouted before messing with the seat functions. "Oh shit, look at this!!" Grimmjow exclaimed, pressing a light switch on and off continuously. Aporro couldn't help but clench his teeth.

"MARCO!"

"POLO!"

This was going to be a long flight.

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Don't worry, I can totally do this." Grimmjow grinned, pointing towards an obstacle course that blocked his way. A few hours prior, the group hand landed in Orlando, Florida and found themselves in a large studio. All around them was a familiar concept; cameras, a foam set, uniforms and an opposing team. The only difference was the audience members that sat feet from the stage. Many appeared to be adrenaline junkies, all stunts and challenges done throughout the show having riled them. Grimmjow wouldn't blame them though; he was after all, the most interesting thing on the show. "It's a piece of cake."

"Please don't do anything stupid, Grimmjow." Aporro muttered, occupying the sideline benches with everyone else.

"Yes, the last thing we need is another fugitive living with us." Stark said, rolling his eyes towards Nnoitra. Nnoitra folded his arms across his chest, scooting away from the man.

"I got cleared, didn't I?" he shot back. Grimmjow waved his hand, beginning to stretch out.

"No worries, I can do this without any bloodshed or pain...simple."

"Just follow the rules this time." Halibel added, sitting comfortably next to Ulquiorra. "We literally won't be able to afford anything other than the flight back home if we don't get this pay."

"Remind me again, why we're poor _again_." Barragan said gruffly, looking over to the group. Ulquiorra sighed, clearing his throat.

"Summer House loan, Nnoitra's bail money, stock investments, little Grimm's hospital bills, Grimmjow's shoplifting sprees, Aporro's replacement phones, Wonderweiss' trigger happy Cero tendencies, our replacement home, my Sudoku book collection, Gin's Disney fetishes, Halibel's special toiletries, Yami's experimental gastric bypass surgery, basic cable and Stark's vasectomy."

"I do not have a Disney fetish" Gin huffed, giving Ulquiorra his best, squinted glare.

"Really?" Stark said, raising an eyebrow. "Because you have underwear that says otherwise."

"I'll give you 500 Yen if you agree to never say that again in public."

"5000"

"1000"

"3000"

"Fine, deal." Stark grinned, pointing towards his back pocket that bulged from his wallet.

"Pay me after the show."

"You guys do realize you're betting nonexistent money, right?" Nnoitra asked, raising an eyebrow. Stark scowled at him.

"I said after the show."

"Hello and welcome back to Extreme Pain 3: International Edition!" The host yelled out, earning claps from the crowd. Most of the cameras were pointed towards him, the others circling around the benched members and the two standing at the start line. "In a few moments, we will have these two race through the maze of death and for the grand prize money of 12 Million Dollars!!" The crowed cheered happily, Grimmjow watching them impatiently. "Contestant number one is Joe McDaniel from Austin, Texas! Contestant number two is Jacques Espada from Karakura, Japan!" More cheering occurred, causing more adrenaline to run through Grimmjow's body. He began to hop on the tips of his toes his hands up as he mimicked a boxer ready to fight. The host backed off to the side, his microphone still in hand."The rules are simple: get through the maze first. If you run into a dead end, you automatically lose. This is a non contact event, so should the two of you run into each other, keep your hands to yourself. Do you understand?" The two in question nodded, Grimmjow rolling his eyes.

"I don't need to beat the shit out of you to win this." Grimmjow sneered at his opponent, the man growling as a response.

"That's some tough talk. Let's see if you can live up to your word" He looked the Espada up and down. "Tch, from the looks of it, you still need someone to change your diapers." Grimmjow's eye twitched, moving towards the man when yelling stopped him from the sidelines.

"Remember Jacques, this is a NON CONTACT SPORT!" Aporro yelled.

"You can beat him up afterwards!" Stark added, giving him a thumbs up. Grimmjow glared at the man before stepping back in his original place. Raising a toy gun, the host began to count off.

"Okay! Start in 3..."

"You better watch your back." Grimmjow said quietly.

"2..."

"Yeah?" the man snorted. "Why? You'll be chewing it off?"

"1..." Grimmjow smirked.

"No. I'll be ripping out your spine."

"Go!" The gun sounded, and both contestants ran into the maze, disappearing from the view of outside watchers. On a large television screen however, there was an aerial view, Grimmjow's blue head vivid against the rest of his surroundings.

"Please don't cheat..." Halibel muttered, her eyes glued onto the screen.

"That'll be the day." Ichigo muttered, getting elbowed by Tousen. He growled at the dark man, rubbing his side.

"Don't judge a man too quickly." Tousen said quietly. Meanwhile, Grimmjow ran through the steel maze, memorizing his moves. Before the competition started, he took a quick look above the maze, trying to memorize it before his unconscious gigai caused any suspicion. From what he could remember, he had about 1/3rd of the course memorized, angry that he couldn't have at least half of it known. After a few more turns, he realized he was at the limit of his knowledge and slowed down considerably. He was determined to win, wanting to refrain from cheating. But if it meant winning...

Turning a corner he cursed to himself, finding himself at an unexpected fork. He stopped, catching his breath, glaring at the large wall and two pathways.

"Shit..." he muttered, trying to decide which direction to take. "Why does it have to be a fork?" He considered taking a quick peak from above, but thought against the idea. Perhaps he had just taken a wrong turn and needed to go backwards. Turning around, he began to walk back, when the other man appeared from behind the corner. Without so much as a pause, he ran right past the Espada, his shoulder bumping roughly into Grimmjow's, making him step back from surprise. Looking behind him, he managed to see the man smirk back at him before disappearing through one of the pathways.

"Uh oh..." Gin said, frowning. The group watched as Grimmjow stood in his place, his eyes on the path the other man took.

"Don't you dare." Halibel said, knowing the inevitable.

"Oh hell no..." Grimmjow growled. In a split second, he jumped out of his gigai and tore through the steel walls, looking for the man. The sudden Shockwave from his high speed blasted wind throughout the studio, temporarily disconnecting the television screen. Screams came from the audience, the host shielding himself and trying to stay upright from the wind blasting him. The Shinigami looked on in disbelief as the wind died down, Grimmjow back in his gigai and brushing himself off at the finish line. The audience quieted down as well, only to stand up and yell for an encore, their hands in the air.

"Wow!" The host said, walking towards him. "That was amazing! I don't know what just happened, but you my friend, are the winner of the 12 Million Dollar Grand Prize!" More cheers came from around them, the host holding up Grimmjow's arm in triumph. He grinned, ignoring the glares and nervous looks from the sidelines.

"Where's the other guy?" Ichigo whispered, trying to find the man on the reconnected television. But all he could find was a red blotch a few feet from the exit, a body nowhere within.

"I dunno..." Gin whispered back. "But he's probably dead." They watched in pure shock as Grimmjow was given the prize check and a plastic crown. The host slung his arm around his shoulder, grinning.

"Dude, you gotta little blood on your shirt."

"Oh thanks."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

Grimmjow growled to himself, his thin body sinking into the soft cushions of the couch. A few hours ago, he was brutally sent home from a majority vote. When he asked why, the response was simple.

He had successfully killed a man on live television. Out of spite, he refused to tell them the body was stuffed in the trunk of the host's car. The group failed to take any notice to the arrest of the man a few minutes after the show when the police noticed blood dripping from his car on the freeway, their focus entirely on getting Grimmjow back home. Ichigo would have followed him, but knew a group of Espada would be more dangerous than Grimmjow under house arrest.

So here he was, the Sexta Espada sitting on the large couch and flipping through television channels while Wonderweiss lay beside him, drool running like a river down to the floor. Before leaving him, Nnoitra had told him the channel the group would be one that afternoon. Curious as to what they would be doing without him, he spent the early afternoon in front of the television, waiting for the the others to show up. Needless to say, he quickly got bored.

"You got any 6's?" He asked, 30 minutes later. Sitting Indian Style on the couch in only a pair of blue boxers, he slouched a little as he fanned out a couple cards in his hands. Across from him sat Wonderweiss, his mouth hanging open as he looked at his own cards. After a few long seconds, the Arrancar shook his head, signaling for Grimmjow to pick up another card from the pile. "Damn, you're good at this game." he said, readjusting his cards in his hands. "Okay, you're turn." Wonderweiss opened his mouth, when the television suddenly became loud with cheesy introduction music. Grimmjow looked at it, putting his cards down. "Well, this is it..." he said, resting backwards on the couch. "Let's see what these losers can do without me around." The screen continued to flash, the title of the show appearing for a millisecond before the camera zoomed in on the host. He was standing in the middle of a brightly colored stage, a microphone in his hands.

"Hello and welcome to another exciting episode of Crazy Trivia!" he said cheerily into the microphone, a quick shot of the clapping audience following. Grimmjow raised an eyebrow, one hand resting on his stomach while the other hung over the side of the couch. "Shot directly in Karakura, we have a variety of Japanese personalities that enter the show. Today we have an interesting group." He turned to his left, pointing towards a long table, 4 buttons placed on top and name plates in front. "For Team One, we have Ken, Sakura, Po and Jay!" The crowed clapped as he then turned to his right, the same set up as before. "For Team Two, we have Hailey, Noi, L. Kiora and Grant!" Grimmjow snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Nnoitra? Pfft, yeah right. He's not even smart enough to realize-." He caught himself, stopping in mid sentence before he could say anything else. He then turned towards Wonderweiss who was in the process of eating his playing cards. "Hey, get me some popcorn, would ya?" Without waiting for a response, he turned back to the television. It took Wonderweiss a few minutes to process the request and even longer to get off the couch.

"The rules of the game are simple" the host continued. "I ask a question and whichever side gets it first by hitting the buzzer and answering correctly gets the point. The team with the most points in the end will win the prize!" More clapping followed, somewhat agitating Grimmjow. "Now let the game begin!"

For the next 30 minutes, Grimmjow sat in silence as he watched the game. Many of the questions were pop culture, giving the first team a head start. The Espada seemed to catch up however, when dealt technical and fill in the blank questions. Grimmjow was eventually given a bowl of burnt popcorn during half time, Wonderweiss slinking back on the couch. He failed the notice how burnt they really were as he was absorbed into the television.

"Welcome back to Crazy Trivia!" The host yelled when the commercials had dispersed. "The score as it stands right now is tied, 120 to 120!" The crowed cheered automatically. The set itself had changed during the commercials, this time with only two pedestals that faced each other in the middle. At one stood Nnoitra, the other occupied by an opponent from the other team. The remaining team members sat on the sidelines and mostly out of sight.

"What the hell...?" Grimmjow muttered, the bowl of popcorn balanced on his stomach, hand buried within the buttery burnt goodness.

"We will now be entering the Double Point Section! This is how this works; you both will be given a single question. Whoever gets the question right first will win the Grand Prize. The catch however is a time limit. You two will only have 10 seconds to answer." He paused, waiting for the audience to stop clapping. "Are both Teams ready?" The groups nodded, Grimmjow sighing.

"They better get this right, or I'm going to have to kill someone."

"Alright." The host pulled out an index card from his back pocket, reading it over to himself. "The secret category of this round is...Foreign Language!"

Both teams went pale, their eyes widening. It was obvious to those around them that neither knew anything outside their own language. Even Grimmjow felt a little sick, knowing this question could mean the difference between endless money and foreclosure. Sitting up on the couch, he dropped the empty bowl on the floor, leaning towards the television. The lights on the set dimmed, shining only on the teams and the host. The audience went silent, the only noise coming from Wonderweiss' heavy breathing.

The host grinned, glancing at both members. "Here is the question: What is the Spanish term for Panther?" A large countdown clock appeared on the back of the stage, starting at 10 seconds. Grimmjow watched in horror as Nnoitra and the opponent struggled with the question, neither coming close to an answer. Grimmjow's eyes widened, his fingers digging into the fabric.

"No..." he said breathlessly. "No...way..." The clock reached 5 seconds, going down even faster than usual. Nnoitra had been muttering to himself, hitting his head as if trying to magically come up with the answer. With 2 seconds left Grimmjow panicked. Jumping up from the couch, he used Sonido and disappeared from the house, Wonderweiss as oblivious as before. Within milliseconds Grimmjow appeared next to Nnoitra. Using all of his strength he outstretched his arms and pushed Nnoitra out of his gigai. Occupying it himself, he quickly pressed the button in front of him, destroying the mechanism on impact.

"Grimmjow?!" Nnoitra said, surprised and he picked himself up from the floor. "What the hell?!" The group from behind did a double take, Ichigo catching himself before he yelled out the Espada's name.

"Team Two, what is your final answer?!" The host asked. Taking in a deep breath, Grimmjow spoke.

"PANTERA!!" he yelled, barring his teeth in a wild grin. Everyone stared in disbelief as the Host reread the index card, smiling in the end.

"That is correct! Team Two wins the 400 Million Yen Grand Prize!!" Huffing, Grimmjow looked down at Nnoitra, the Espada slowly standing up to his full height. The others rushed towards them, smiling and for the most part excited about the outcome.

"Well Grimmjow, it looks as though you've finally come through for us..." Nnoitra said quietly, brushing himself off. "Thanks." Grimmjow smiled, getting out of the gigai and handing it back, Nnoitra taking over again.

"You're welcome." There was an awkward pause.

"You don't suppose now would be a good time to put on pants, do you?"

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Man, I am so tired..."

"You're always tired Stark."

"Shut up. Getting tons of money does that to anyone." The group laughed, all of them filing into the large house. A few minutes ago, Ichigo had left them for home, realizing there was no point in sticking around for the night. Their prize money was safely tucked away in a bank account and all they planned to do now was sleep.

"Tired..." Grimmjow mumbled, collapsing on the couch.

"Grimmjow, look." Ulquiorra said, pointing towards the answering machine. "There is a message for us. Most likely from the Clinic."

"The what?!" Grimmjow jumped back to his feet, rushing to the machine, Ulquiorra standing next to him. "I totally forgot about Little Grimm!"

"Some owner you are..." Nnoitra said, walking past them.

"Better than you!" Grimmjow yelled back. He then gave Ulquiorra an exasperated look. "Play it, see what it says!" Nodding, Ulquiorra pushed the play button.

_Hello, this is Dr. Noriaki from the Karakura Local Pet Clinic. I've received the blood work and overall test results of your pet, Little Grimm. Sickness, blood and most of the signs your dog was showing all point to one thing; Little Grimm is a girl._

_Little Grimm is also pregnant._


	13. Dangerous and Moving

**CH 13: Dangerous and Moving**

It had been two hours since it was revealed that Little Grimm was a girl. Five seconds afterwards, it was also revealed that she was hitting her third week of pregnancy.

"Grimmjow, please stop bouncing on the couches..."

Needless to say, this made Grimmjow very happy.

"I'm gonna be a daddy! I'm gonna be a daddy!" he yelled insistently, jumping on anything and everything possible. During the first hour of his happy spree, most of the Espada had gone to bed. This left all of the cleaning up to Aporro and Nnoitra. Tiredly, the two followed after Grimmjow around the house, picking up things he knocked over and in general, trying to get him to calm down. "Hey guys, guess what!?" Grimmjow yelled from the ceiling.

"What?" Nnoitra and Aporro asked flatly, as if they didn't know what was to come next. Grimmjow grinned widely, giving them a thumbs up.

"I'm gonna be a daddy!" Nnoitra rolled his eyes, bending down to pick up the shattered remains of a lamp.

"Hey dummy. Did you ever stop to think how that dog got pregnant?" Grimmjow stopped, jumping down from the ceiling to stand next to the man. Tilting his head, he thought for a few minutes.

"...What do you mean?"

"Do you know who is the father?"

"Me of course." Grimmjow scoffed, smiling.

"He doesn't mean that dumb ass!" Aporro yelled, throwing a pillow at Grimmjow's head. "Do you know who got Little Grimm pregnant?"

"Not...really..." Grimmjow frowned, rubbing the back of head where the pillow hit. "Come to think of it...I've never seen Little Grimm do anything suspicious while I was around. She was always by my side and never left for more than 5 seconds." He gave an awkward side glance. "Can dogs do it in 5 seconds?"

"If she likes sex then yeah..." Nnoitra said, shrugging. Grimmjow gasped, glaring at the answering machine.

"That whore!" he yelled, his fist clenched.

"Don't go callin' your dog a whore man."

"...that bitch!"

"Okay well, either way, the dog was pregnant before you got her." Aporro cut in suddenly. "Dogs are pregnant for around 60 days, translating to roughly two months. We haven't been here for two months so it's impossible for your dog to show obvious signs of pregnancy this early. I can only conclude that Little Grimm has been pregnant for some time, before we showed up here." The three stood there silently, Grimmjow digesting the information slowly.

"Well I'm going to bed." Nnoitra announced, walking off to his bedroom. Aporro nodded in agreement, going up the stairs quickly, the sound of his bedroom door closing following afterwards.

"Wait, Nnoitra." Grimmjow said quickly, stopping the taller one. Nnoitra looked back at him, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" The Sexta Espada shifted uncomfortably on his feet, thinking of what to say.

"Do you...wanna come with me tomorrow to pick up Little Grimm? We could go to the park afterwards...for fresh air." Nnoitra gave a small chuckle, rolling his eyes. Grimmjow frowned slightly, his brow furrowed in disappointment. The brief moment of silence was nerve racking, Grimmjow's heart beating at a million miles an hour. Though he could hardly explain why this was so, he knew that if Nnoitra declined his request, he wouldn't be able to leave through the front door the next morning.

"Sure, I'll come with you." Nnoitra said finally, his expression somewhat softening. Grimmjow sighed heavily, smiling for the first time in who knows how long. "But only because I don't want you embarrassing yourself." He scowled, but nodded a quick thank you before going up to his room, closing the door behind him. Walking past the slumbering Aporro, he climbed into bed. Kicking off his sandals, he removed the pants Nnoitra let him borrow and threw them off to the side. Getting under the covers, he turned to his side and sighed before drifting off into a deep sleep.

The next morning, Grimmjow woke up with a start. The sun was already up and upon further inspection, so was Aporro. Blinking away the temporary blindness that came from the sunlight, Grimmjow sat up in bed.

"Tired...." he mumbled to himself. Yawning, he managed to get out of bed, put on his blue kitty slippers and walk down to the kitchen. There he met Nnoitra, already dressed in his Espada uniform.

"Morning Sleepy Head." he greeted. Grimmjow grunted for a response, seating himself across from the other man. "Did you sleep well?"

"Kinda..." Grimmjow muttered, running his fingers through his hair. "I kept dreaming about Little Grim though, so it was a little nerve racking..." Putting his head down on the table, he missed the growing frown on Nnoitra's face.

"Couldn't you dream of something else?" Nnoitra asked stiffly.

"Like what?" Grimmjow asked back, his voice muffled from below. Nnoitra shrugged, resting his head on his fist, his elbow on the table.

"I dunno..." he said quietly, looking down at his soggy cereal. "Just...something else." Grimmjow lifted his head to give him a weird look.

"Uh...I should go get ready then." He said, getting up from the table. "Little Grimm should be ready to pick up within the hour." Without waiting for an answer he got up from the table and walked into the living room. There sat the rest of the group, all huddled around the plasma television screen.

"Good Morning, Grimmjow" Ulquiorra said, being the first to acknowledge the Espada. Grimmjow nodded to him, bending down to pick up his clothes from off the floor. "Will you be getting Little Grimm today?"

"Yup." He said, pulling his pants over his legs. "I'm going with Nnoitra. Afterwards, we're going to go to the park."

"Are you taking your gigai?" Aaroniero asked.

"Nah." Nnoitra said, walking from out of the kitchen. "It's less of a hassle."

"Less of a hassle?" Halibel asked. "For what?"

"Well think about it." Aporro chimed in from beside her. "Do you really want two fugitives walking around visible to the humans that are looking for them?" Halibel furrowed her brow in concern.

"I dunno...It still worries me..." Grimmjow scoffed, grabbing Nnoitra's wrist and tugging him towards the front door.

"No worries, Halibel." He said casually. "We're Espada." He flashed her a grin. "What's the worst that could happen?"

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"I'm sorry to disturb you Captain Kurotsuchi, but this is rather urgent." Mayuri rolled his eyes slightly, but accepted the report handed to him. Skimming through it, his expression remained unchanged until he had flip through several of the pages.

"What is this?" he asked, seeming slightly concerned. The Lieutenant gave him a quick bow.

"The Bureau of Technology has been tracking a sudden manifestation of Spirit Pressure for two weeks." Mayuri nodded, raising both his eyebrows in realization.

"Oh...that. What did they find?"

"Well it seems that the Pressure constantly fluctuates, resulting in unpredictable strength. The highest amount recorded seems to surpass that of a Captain. They have also found that the Spirit Pressure could be coming from more than one source. Every so often it divides itself and spreads out not only in Karakura where it originated, but also outside the boarders of the country of Japan. The Bureau feels the need to take action quickly, in case it becomes too strong to control, or if it is related to Ex Captain Aizen." Mayuri looked over the report once more, stroking his chin in thought.

"I see...I shall inform Captain Yamamoto right away." Stuffing the report in his coat, he stood up from his seat and walked out of his room, dismissing Nemu. Walking down the hallways, he took little notice to those around. Taking a few more turns, he finally ended up at the front door of 1st Division Meeting Hall. Entering, he stood in the middle of the room and bowed briefly. In front of him sat Captain Yamamoto, his wrinkled brow stretched from his raised eyebrow.

"What is it, Captain Kurotsuchi?" he asked gruffly.

"Pardon my intrusion" Mayuri began, approaching the Elder. "But I have a report here that needs to be brought to your attention right away. It concerns the wellbeing of Karakura Town and Soul Society."

"In what way?" Mayuri nodded, stepping closer. He explained to the Captain the Bureau's findings and their concerns over the intense Spirit Pressure in the Human World.

"I request this information be released immediately among the other Captains and action takes place as soon as possible." Mayuri concluded. Yamamoto stroked his chin in thought, nodding after a few silent minutes.

"This does seem rather urgent. Very well Captain Mayuri, I shall call an emergency Captain's meeting through your request."

10 minutes later, the Emergency Captain's Meeting was underway. All Captain's, save for Mayuri were in their respected places, Yamamoto taking the front. Clearing his throat, he began.

"I'm sure you all are wondering why I called you here under such short notice..." He received a few nods. "Well, it seems that there is a growing problem in the human world. Specifically Karakura Town." He waved to Mayuri, giving him the right to speak. Nodding, the man stepped forward. Waving a white hand out, he summoned a 3D diagram of Karakura Town. In one area were a few small red dots, two of them moving off in a separate direction.

"It appears that a multitude of Spirit Pressure have found their way in Karakura Town. So far they have not caused any damage, but the Bureau and I have our concerns. One such concern is the level of Spirit Pressure. Whether together or apart, they all seem to surpass that of a Captain."

"Do you think this is the work of Aizen?" Hitsugaya asked. Mayuri shrugged.

"Like I said, they have not caused any damage which, at this point, is very uncharacteristic of Aizen. If he wanted attention, he would make it very clear." The Captain's nodded in agreement.

"Have you identified the carriers of this Soul Pressure?" Soi Fon asked.

"Well, they have not been physically identified..." Mayuri admitted. "But their energy is enough to track them down."

"Which brings me to my final point." Yamamoto said. "I feel that we need to take immediate action in tracking down and surveying these Spirit Pressures." He paused, thinking. "I will send two; a Soul Reaper and a member of the Bureau of Technology. Who exactly has already been notified. They will leave as they are, both in charge of protecting the other should harm come their way. However, they will be fit with a device that will send help when distressed." He picked up his large staff, tapping it softly on the ground. "If there are no more questions, then this meeting is dismissed." Sighing to himself, Mayuri dispersed along with the other Captains. Heading back to the Bureau he walked past most members, heading for one in particular.

"Akon." he said, catching the man's attention. "Are you ready?" Akon sighed, putting out his cigarette on the palm of his hand.

"As ready as I'll ever be, sir."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl?" Grimmjow cooed, scratching Little Grimm's stomach lightly. The dog wagged it's tail, eyes still showing signs of sleepiness. "You're a good girl! Yes you are. _Yes you are_!" Nnoitra rolled his eyes, disgusted that Grimmjow had veered back to his disturbing motherly side. If he wasn't careful, he was going to wake up one morning and find the Espada hunched over his dog in a bib, feeding her dog food while completely naked underneath an apron that displayed a disturbing, perverted phrase.

"Grimmjow, can you stop that?" he asked, rubbing the bridge of his nose in an attempt to get the disturbing image out of his head. "There are people around." Grimmjow looked up at the taller one, giving him his best "I'm going to beat the everliving shit out of you if you interrupt my mom time again" glare. Unfortunately for him, it didn't work as well as he'd hoped. Conveying a physical message was nearly impossible when your face was hidden underneath a gigai. Originally, the two had planned to go without the gigai, in hopes of just picking up the dog and bringing her back home.

This plan failed when they realized that no one could see them, therefore they would never get the dog back. So the two returned home, retrieved their gigai and came back to the clinic in .5 seconds flat. Why the sudden awareness of the law, no one knew. Perhaps they didn't want to add dog napping to their list of committed crimes. Maybe they didn't want to bring attention to themselves should someone see the dog floating along casually.

Or maybe they were just absent minded and were finally brainwashed by the Japanese society. The world would never know.

"So where do you want to go first?" Grimmjow asked suddenly, catching Nnoitra off guard.

"What?"

"Where do you want to go?" he asked again. Nnoitra looked up in thought, shrugging.

"Yesterday you said you wanted to go to the park but...they don't seem too exciting if you ask me. Children running loose, animals sniffing the butts of other animals, the sky filled with annoying fliers that contain phone numbers no one will ever call. It's not exactly my thing." Grimmjow frowned, looking down at the ground. Nnoitra was making the day a complete drag and it wasn't even noon yet. Determined not to let the lanky man ruin the best day of his life so far, Grimmjow came up with a last resort. Getting the man's attention back, Grimmjow gave him his best pout. His bottom lip stuck out, his brow was furrowed and his eyes shown with the intensity of a thousand suns.

Nnoitra was close to gagging.

"Please Nnoitra?" Grimmjow asked shakily. "Can we please go to the park and have the best day ever?"

"Fine whatever." he growled, shoving Grimmjow off to the side. The Espada didn't immediately regain his footing and instead bumped into a passerby. Growling, the man grabbed him by his collar and stopped him in his tracks.

"Watch where you're going, ass face." the man said. Clutching Little Grimm, Grimmjow looked up at the irritated face. The man was obviously pissed, his small dark eyes glaring down at him. His claw like hand held Grimmjow's collar in a death grip and his spiky, clearly divided hair swished lightly in the wind. The Sexta Espada quickly straightened up, tearing himself free of the man's grasp.

"Sorry about that." he muttered, quickly walking off with Nnoitra in tow. Once they were a good distance away, Grimmjow began to laugh."Well that was weird." he said after a little while. Nnoitra gave him an odd look.

"What? That you made a fool of yourself in front of someone else?" Grimmjow rolled his eyes, pointing towards his forehead.

"No, didn't you see? That guy had three little horns poking out of his forehead. Is that normal in the human world?" Nnoitra thought about it for a minute. Coming up with no objection, he shrugged.

"I guess so. He seemed a little old though. It's usually the adolescents that explore the side of individuality, if I've done my research correctly." He paused, making a face. "Ugh, I'm starting to sound like Aporro. Please shoot me now."

The man stood quietly, hearing the distant laughter of the two he had run into, one more physically. He frowned slightly, crossing his arms over his chest. Moments later, another man that looked about his age had joined him, scowling as well.

"Akon." said the other. "Was that them?" He nodded.

"Yeah." he said quietly. "Their spiritual pressure was not as high as I expected, especially in gigai, but they noticed my presence as if I were in a gigai as well. They're definitely part of what we're looking for." He turned to look at the other. "Find the others. I'll follow these two." The other nodded, but had a slight confused face.

"Did they notice your Spiritual Pressure?" he asked. Akon shook his head.

"No. They didn't notice my outfit either. That's probably enough to assume they're not too bright." The other Shinigami laughed.

"Let's just hope the others are as dense." The Shinigami turned to leave, when Akon stopped him.

"Shuuhei." he said firmly, grabbing the others attention. "Be careful. These two may be a little off, but for every idiot, there is a genius. Watch where you are at all times and don't get caught. Right now, we may be underestimating their power, whoever they are and you need to actually think about your steps. Understand?" He looked at Akon, nodding. He had already known to be careful, but a little reminder never hurt.

"Yeah."

**I apologize for this...I have lots of stuff going on at home, mostly health issues and I figured I might as well cut this chapter in half, just so you all had something to read.**

**If there are any of you still left out there. Thanks for sticking with this and not giving up on me; I'm not done with this yet. THIS STORY WILL LIVE ON!!**


	14. A Dog's Day Afternoon

**CH 14: A Dog's Day Afternoon**

"Do you think they'll miss us if we don't come back tonight?"

"I doubt it. They're all just a bunch of lazy assholes anyway. Why?"

"Oh...no reason." Nnoitra looked down at Grimmjow, eying him suspiciously. The other quickly looked off in the other direction, hiding his face from him after that strange, short conversation. The two had found a nice bench to sit on, the park in front of them wide and open. Because of that fact, they allowed Little Grimm to run around and get some air.

Well, that was the idea. Instead the dog lay flat on the grass beside them, eyes droopy with sleepiness. Sitting back on the bench, Grimmjow looked up thoughtfully."So...what would you like to do?" he asked. Nnoitra shrugged, folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't really care. You were the one that wanted to go out for the whole day." Grimmjow sneered at him.

"You're making it sound like I dragged you out here."

"Well I didn't come happily."

"Bullshit." The two fell silent again, looking away in opposite directions angrily. Nearby, situated high above in a tree was Akon. With a laptop in hand, he quietly documented the two. It wasn't necessary for him to be in the tree in the first place; the two had proven very well that he blended in with other humans unexpectedly. But who would pass up the chance to sit in a tree without getting in trouble?

"Hm, if I didn't trust Rin and his findings, I'd probably see this to be a waste of time..." he muttered, finding the short conversation between the suspects less than exhilarating. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket, sticking the end of it in his mouth without lighting it; leaves didn't mix well with fire. Taking advantage of the continuing silence, he made it a point to contact Shuuhei.

"Lieutenant Hisagi" he muttered into the microphone of his wristband walkie-talkie.

"_Yeah?" _came the prompt response.

"Have you come across anything suspicious?"

"_No, not yet. I located one of their main bases and took a head count. There seems to be about five or six of them. Although this is all from a distant outside view. I haven't gotten close enough to give you physical descriptions." _Akon went silent for a bit, thinking.

"Very well. Keep watching and if you have anything solid, let me know right away."

"_Understood." _Ending the conversation, Akon went back to watching the pair, a bored look quickly crossing his face.

"I better get a raise out of this..."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not? It's perfectly reasonable."

"I just don't think it'd be for the best. After all, don't we normally live with each other?"

"I for one agree with Tousen. Aizen-sama would want us to be together."

"It'd create tension again. Did you forget this is supposed to be a vacation?"

"I believe we are way past a vacation." Aporro frowned, folding his arms across his chest as he stared at the others around the table. Staring back at him was Ulquiorra, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

"Then it's settled. I will call Gin and ask that he transport his group here."

"Wait" Halibel interrupted, putting her hand over his phone before he could press speed dial. "I think it would be better if we moved there. They have the mansion after all."

"What will happen to this place?" Tousen asked. "We cannot just leave it here. What if the humans snoop and stumble upon something they weren't meant to find?" The table became quiet, all occupants trying to think of something. Outside, perched precariously on a telephone pole was Shuuhei. Unlike Akon, he didn't have a laptop with him. Being part of a fighting Squad, he never had a personal use for computers and would have found it to be a bother. Instead, he focused on the reiatsu that emanated from the house. He was surprised at first at how little he felt; with something that concerned Captain Yamamoto he expected something more tangible.

It didn't matter though. If he was told it was important, he didn't need to think twice before taking the required action. Instead, he continued to focus on the quiet home and a particularly familiar aura from inside . . .

Back at the park, Akon had moved his spot from the tree to some bushes located within the park. A moment ago the two suspects had moved, letting out all of their energy into a game of wrestling. Well, at least it looked like a game. If his excellent deduction skills hadn't left him, Akon was sure the taller one was trying to drown the other in the ocean.

"Hey! Stop that!" Grimmjow yelled, shoving Nnoitra as far as he could away from him. The other stumbled back a bit, that grin plastered on his face.

"Aw what's wrong?" he cooed, swiping a small wave of water at Grimmjow. "Kitty doesn't like the water?"Growling menacingly, Grimmjow tackled him and pushed him below the surface of the water. A few bystanders stopped to watch the spectacle, no one really making a move to do anything about the homicidal game. In fact it was almost interesting to watch.

"Take that back you bastard!" Grimmjow yelled, gripping his neck as he held him underwater. Nnoitra responded by swiftly kicking him in the crotch, forcing him to let go. Wide eyed, Grimmjow grabbed his crotch, toppling in the water backwards from the immense pain.

"Agh!" he squeaked loudly. "It burns!! Glub Glub . . . " Emerging from the water, Nnoitra gasped for air, glaring down as Grimmjow floated peacefully to the bottom of the ocean floor, a few feet deep. Rolling his eyes, he quietly trudged out of the water, wringing out his hair. Stopping at the edge of the shore, he proceeded to attempt to dry off the rest of his clothes, when his cellphone began to ring.

"Huh?" he blinked, looking down at his pants pocket. 'Oh . . . I must have forgotten about this piece of crap." Reaching in, he pulled out his golden cellphone. Shaking it to get the water off, he was amazed the thing still worked and began to read the name. "Ulquiorra? Ugh, what the hell does he wa-" A split second later, the phone vanished from his hand, followed by immense pain. "OW!" he yelled, grabbing his potentially broken hand. Next to him stood Grimmjow, soaked to the bone and a leg extended in the air.

"That's what you get for kicking me in the crotch." he huffed, straightening up a bit. Taking a minute to glare at him, he looked off to the side, watching his cellphone sail through the air and land next to a wall of bushes.

The same wall of bushes where Akon was hidden. The Scientist noticed the phone dropped a mere few feet away from him, causing him to raise an invisible eyebrow.

_Yellow? _He thought. _What a godawful color._

"Now look what you did!" Nnoitra yelled, shoving Grimmjow away. Taking a few steps back, Grimmjow quickly regained his foot and proceeded to shove him in return.

"You deserved it after kicking me!" he argued back. It wasn't soon before long when the pair began to actually fight again, but this time with one one member in the audience.

". . . What the hell are you two doing?" Ichigo asked. Approaching the Espada, he had his hands in his pockets, a scarf wrapped around his neck that complimented the color of his goggles. At the sound of his voice, Nnoitra immediately stopped, separating himself from Grimmjow. At the same time, Akon made a double-take.

_Kurosaki?! _His eyes went wide, his mouth hanging open a bit as he quickly recognized the Substitute in his street clothes. _What the hell is he doing here?!_

"Ass face over here tossed my phone in some far off bush." he sneered, pointing in the general location.

"You should go get it" Grimmjow added, grinning a little. "Then bring it back so I can smash it on the ground." Ichigo shrugged, walking over to where the phone la while intentionally ignoring the growing yells behind him. For a moment he tried to remind himself why he came to the park. He had school work for that weekend and needed all the time he could harbor to study. But upon learning that Grimmjow was going to be at the park that afternoon – don't ask how he found out – he decided to pay him a visit. So far, it didn't seem to go as he had planned. Seeing Nnoitra with him not only caught him off guard, it made the whole idea suddenly worthless.

"Somehow I wish he was alone . . ." he muttered quietly to himself. Once by the phone, he crouched down. Reaching out to grab it, he was thoroughly surprised when a hand came out from the bush, grabbing his wrist tightly. "What the-" With only time to blink, he was quickly pulled into the big wall of shrubbery and leaves, falling heavily on his face. Being freed from the hand seconds after, he sat up quickly, trying to find the culprit. In the mean time, Nnoitra and Grimmjow stopped what they were doing, staring at the bush.

". . . Did that bush just . . . ?" Grimmjow asked, slowly pointing towards the foliage. Nnoitra nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah . . . that's what I thought."

". . . want to go help him out?"

"God no. Want to go get some ice cream?"

"Sure."

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Akon hissed, once they made eye contact. Ichigo sat up, rubbing his head.

"Who are you?" he asked, looking Akon up and down but not fully recognizing him. Nor did he recognize the little Scottish Terrier that was curled up on the man's lap, sleeping peacefully.

"I'm Akon; I work in the Bureau of Technology." he replied with restrained anger. "Why are you here?" Ichigo shrugged, straightening himself out.

"I just thought I'd take a walk in the park. What are you doing hiding in a bush with a dog?"

"It followed me in here. Nevertheless, I doubt you came here for just a walk." He pointed in Nnoitra's and Grimmjow's general direction. "You were casually talking to two of who knows how many suspicious characters that are under Soul Society's radar." He narrowed his eyes at him, grabbing him by the collar and bringing their faces close together. "Either you still cannot sense reiatsu well or you are keeping a secret from me that I am willing to kill anyone to learn." He gave him a long and hard stare, quickly intimidating Ichigo.

"Alirght, I'll tell you." he said finally, tugging himself away from Akon. Keeping his gaze firm, he waited for Ichigo to explain. Taking a deep breath, the teen rubbed the back of his head, looking up at the sky. "They're the Espada."

"_What?!_" He hissed, his eyes wide.

"But you can't tell Soul Society!" Ichigo said quickly.

"Why the fuck not?! They're Espada!"

"They aren't here to cause trouble."

"How can we be so sure? They're programmed to follow Aizen and even on their own free will they'll-"

"They're on vacation here." Ichigo blurted out. A long silence followed. Blinking, Akon stared at Ichigo and eventually he raised an invisible eyebrow.

"Vacation?" he repeated, earning a nod. "What do you mean?"

"It's a really long story . . . " Akon huffed, sitting back a little. He reached down with one hand, petting the dog quietly.

"I have time."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

With less than quiet people, the 4th largest mansion in Japan was a sight to behold. However, because they lacked any kind of sympathy or general interest in the humans, The Espada that occupied that residence didn't exactly care. Instead, they went on about their current discussion.

"I don't want them here, honestly" Stark muttered from the couch, laying on his back with his legs propped on an arm. "I like the harmony here." Zommari nodded in agreement.

"Harmony seems to be the best atmosphere. Without it, there will be chaos."

"Yeah and you _know_ those other bastards are full of chaos." Yami added, folding his arms across his chest and he leaned against the wall. "I mean, who wants to bunk with people like Grimmjow?"

"No one said bunking with you was fun either."

"Eh!? What did you say Stark?!"

"Geez, calm down!" Barragan butted in, making the others immediately quiet. "You're all acting like a bunch of brats! It's not like we're decided our fate here. Now if you ask me, I say we all come together again. It doesn't matter how much we hate each other, it's the best way to go." Gin clapped gleefully, breaking the small silence of nods that followed Barragan's speech.

"I agree~" he said happily, to the much of the others dismay. "But we can't do anything just yet."

"Huh? Why?" Yami asked.

"You can't tell?" Stark said quietly, sitting up a bit. "The Shinigami have been following us."

"They haven't taken note of our group yet" Barragan added. "But Tousen and the others are in their radar."

"Moving now will only bring them closer to us and inevitably giving them passage to interfere." Pulling out his cellphone, Gin dialed for Tousen's number. Putting it on speaker, the rest of them listened to the ringing.

". . .Hello?"

"Hello Tousen~!" Gin greeted.

"Oh, hello Gin."

"Aw, you aren't happy to hear from me so soon?"

"We're currently waiting for your decision." Ulquiorra's voice echoed through. "Have you come up with anything?"

"We've decided to group together again." Stark explained. "But as you've noticed, the Shinigami have caught onto our presence here. Something tells me they're not just going to ignore us and will jump at the chance to catch us during your move here."

"I have. It's quite the burden to feel those eyes on us."

"Yeah. With that said, you should stay there until things quiet down again."

"Agreed. But I'm afraid of one thing still . . . "

"What's that?"

"We haven't been able to reach Nnoitra and Grimmjow yet." Halibel said, sighing. "Knowing those two idiots, they'll blow our chances of getting away from the Shinigami during their little escapades . . . and their little dog too."

"You don't give them enough credit" Zommari spoke up. "As much as I will regret saying this, they have the capacity to take a situation seriously. They wouldn't screw things up purposefully."

**.:A2345678910JQK:.**

" . . . and that's the whole story." Ichigo finished his explanation, trying to be as clear as possible, explaining everything he was told. As a first response, Akon couldn't help but doubt the truth of the story.

"So they told you all this and you believed them?"

"It's not like I believed them right away. Even after I told Grimmjow I believed him, I couldn't trust him for a long time after that."

"And you believe them now?" Ichigo shrugged, looking down at the ground almost guiltily. Akon sighed, moving the dog from his lap, replacing it with the laptop. He had been documenting Ichigo's story with a small recorder, but was writing an official report down in the computer. "What do you expect me to tell them?" he asked after a while. "If I come back and tell them everything is fine, I doubt they're going to agree."

"Tell them that I'll watch after the Espada." he offered. "As far as I know, Soul Society sees me as a legitimate Shinigami. I mean technically, that would be me doing my job as a representative of Karakura Town." Akon gave him a light stare, finishing up his preliminary report.

"I'll have to discuss it with Captain Commander Yamamoto and Captain Kurotsuchi. Although what you want sounds fine, I can't guarantee they'll be willing to play along." Ichigo shrugged, looking around a bit.

"I'm sure they'll understand. But, uh . . . do you think we can get out of this bush thing? I can't stand the leaves in my pants anymore." Akon opened his mouth to answer him, when a stream of light shone down on them. Looking up, the two were met with the peering faces of Grimmjow and Nnoitra, the ceiling of bush above them parted.

"Hey, it's that horn guy!" Grimmjow exclaimed, earning a frown and a glare.

"Are you finished chatting?" Nnoitra asked, taking a second to lick his ice cream afterward. "It's getting a little late and we really should be getting back home."

"Sorry." Swimming his way out of the bush, Ichigo started to shake all the leaves off, brushing some away from his sleeves and hair. In the mean time, Grimmjow reclaimed Little Grimm, it's tail wagging happily. Straightening himself out, Ichigo noticed Nnoitra had his phone again, but the annoyed look on the Espada's face told him it wasn't working.

"Thanks a lot, dipshit" Nnoitra grumbled, shooting Grimmjow a look of pure hatred. So it pretty much was just a normal look for him. "Now my phone is busted."

"So get another one from Tousen when we get back home" Grimmjow replied, not such much caring for the situation as he did for Little Grimm's current happiness. Huffing, Nnoitra stuck the phone back in his pocket, his and Grimmjow's clothes still somewhat damp. Turning around, they began to walk back home, Ichigo quickly in tow. Akon had long ago left the bush, finding himself now out in the middle of a low traffic street. Not concerned about the humans around him he stood below a traffic light for a source of light. The sun had begun to set and Captain Kurotsuchi expected them to be back before nightfall. So with the walkie-talkie up to his mouth, he summoned for Shuuhei.

Across town, Shuuhei remained on the telephone pole, his eyes still locked onto the house in front of him. He knew there was another location that needed his attention, but he was distracted by the familiar reiatsu that he felt. It was thin, but it was enough to have him think. It was so familiar, so very familiar and yet he couldn't put his tongue on it. He wanted to get closer in an attempt to sense more, when the distant glow of lights caught his attention. Looking off to the horizon, he saw a flurry of blue and red lights coming towards his location. Before long they were followed by helicopters and other large aircraft with the initials S.W.A.T. imprinted on them.

Whatever that meant.

Figuring it was just something caused by the humans, Shuuhei decided to simply watch when Akon's voice rang through from his wrist band.

"_Shuuhei, are you there?"_

"I'm here." he responded, scanning the large group of vehicles surround the house he was scouting.

"_We've run out of time. I've collected some important data that Captain Commander Yamamoto needs to see. Meet me over at the park."_

"Alright." Taking one last look at the blaring noises, bright lights and people in dark suits, he used Shunpo and disappeared from the scene. On their way to house, Grimmjow finally spoke up about the sudden flood of similar trucks rushing by them on the street.

"Geez, what's with all those car things?" he said, holding Little Grimm in his arms. Ichigo gave him an eye roll, walking in between him and Nnoitra. "They're the law enforcers right? Annoying bastards."

"What are you complaining about? At least they're not here for you." As soon as the words left Ichigo's mouth, Grimmjow's phone went off. All three stopped, watching Grimmjow take out his phone with one hand, putting it up to his ear.

"Yeah?"

"GRIMMJOW!" Aporro yelled through the phone, causing all three of them to jump. "GET YOUR ASS BACK HOME NOW! THE COPS ARE LOOKING FOR YOU!" Ichigo blinked, slowly glaring at the Sexta.

"What does he mean, looking for you?" he asked.

"What the hell did you do you dumbass?" Nnoitra demanded, folding his arms across his chest. Grimmjow only offered them an innocent smile, closing the phone to avoid hearing anymore yelling from Aporro.

"Oops~"

**Yes, I know what you're gonna say. "Why did you take so long?!" Well, it was mostly school work and the fact that I had no drive over the summer. But you know, I'm still committed to this. I'm still gonna finish this story, even if by the end I have no more reviewers. So go ahead and review, or don't and I'll see you at the next chapter, which I promise will come out very soon. Peace!**


	15. A Very Sorry Author's Note

**A Very Sorry Author's Note**

Hey everyone, remember me ?

Yeah, probably not lol

Anyway, I just wanted to update this with a really quick note from me.

I realize it's been at least 3 years since I last updated this and for that, I really, truly apologize. Lots of stuff went down, including my original computer that had the next chapter in progress crashing on me. I lost all of my data after that and since then I didn't really have a desire to continue this.

But there is good news.

I want to continue this. I realize at this point, a lot of you probably have already walked out on this, figuring it's officially dead. Well if you're still around, I can assure you that even with school being my focus these days, I will post the next chapter soon. And when I say soon, I mean within the week. As a matter of fact, by the time you read this sentence, I probably have already gotten through the first couple paragraphs. And you know, I feel as if only good can come out of this three year wait. I feel like my writing has gotten better and now I know all of the characters enough that they can warrant close to equal screen time. I still have so much I want to post in this story and with over 200 reviews and 100+ people on alert, I can't let this stop.

I would feel nothing but honored if you continued to read and review this after I get it going again and who knows; I might actually go back and fix the previous chapters so the whole story can flow better without all of my horrible grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm sorry for making you all wait on my lazy ass to continue this and I'll admit I have a penchant for making people wait on cliffhangers. But I assure you all, this isn't the end. I remember how much I enjoyed writing this and that feeling is coming back. You can tell me how much I suck as an author or how much you miss me. It doesn't matter.

Hate it or love it, My First Vacation will live again.


	16. The Not So Great Escape

**CH 15: The Not So Great Escape**

**Author's Note: I thank you all for waiting for me to get off my ass to do this chapter. Without you all, I would be nothing. And now, after the long wait, here is chapter 15 of My First Vacation. Enjoy ~**

Akon sighed, dropping his shoulders as he finished his presentation. In front of him sat Captain Yamamoto, his wrinkled expression unreadable. Next to him stood his own Captain, his face set in a more legible frown. Flanking him on both sides were the rest of the Captains, their eyes staring him down intently, busying themselves with trying to digest his words. Closing his laptop, he tucked it underneath his arm swiftly, waiting for the reaction he was certain he would get. He didn't have to wait long.

"So what you're saying is that idiot Kurosaki thinks he could just … _babysit_ them all on his own?" Mayuri spat out the words, annoyed beyond all reason. Akon nodded, Mayuri folding his arms angrily. "All while they have their little gigai to cause trouble in … Akon, make a note that we have to obtain one of those to study." He did, writing a note down on his hand before responding.

"He said he was certain they were not there to cause any harm to the Humans or pose a serious threat to Soul Society. Personally I don't think any sane person would believe him, but there wasn't much I could do in convincing him otherwise."

"Of course not. He is more hard headed than some of the lazier Shinigami here" Hitsugaya said, sighing. "One of the many traits about him that I find annoying."

"If we let him have his way, we are all surely doomed" Soi Fon added, her brow furrowed slightly. "There's no way we can allow this to happen."

Yamamoto interjected with a loud huff. "That child thinks he can just have 10 Espada under control all on his own. While at the same time, he's allowing them to wander free without letting us take proper precautions. If they were to turn, there is nothing he could do to stop them."

"What do you suggest we do Captain Commander?" Shuuhei spoke up for the first time since he had given his report on the group of Espada he had followed earlier that hour. He took a small step forward, separating himself a little from Akon's side. Yamamoto thought quietly to himself for a long while.

"We will establish a monitoring system whether Kurosaki is aware or not. If he is right in them not wanting to fight, we will not purposefully aggravate them and instead survey them under wraps. No Shinigami is to engage in battle with them unless it is absolutely vital to the lives of Humans and to us as Soul Society." Kenpachi groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Great, there are Espada out there and I can't fight any of 'em."

"Well..." Ukitake lifted a hand, smiling slightly. "I believe if Kurosaki has his head on straight, which I'm sure he does, then there is no doubt that there isn't anything to worry about so early."

"We aren't talk about puppies, Captain" Byakuya retorted. "The Espada are dangerous and could turn on him any second. Whatever he thinks they're doing, it'll be easy for them to go against that. It's best to keep a survey on them, regardless of their current 'humanitarianism.' "

"You may not believe in his judgment, but I do."

"He's only a child. His judgments are horribly skewed." The room fell silent for a moment after that, all Captains turning to look at Yamamoto for his final word.

"As I said, we will monitor them that a close, undercover proximity. You are to explain none of this to Kurosaki, should you run into him, and everyday those who are chosen to monitor them need to report back with new information. That is all." He brought down his cane, the knocking sound echoing throughout the room and signaling that the meeting was over. There seemed to be a collective sigh from everyone as they began to disperse, a nervous air about them. Just as Byakuya had said, there weren't dealing with something harmless. They were dealing with one of the few enemies they had that could potentially disrupt the very existence of the Human World and Soul Society. And since they had recently been put under the rule of Aizen, there was no doubt the task of stopping them would be easy. What they would need was something or someone who could outmatch their power and force them to submit.

Unbeknownst to them, a small county jail cell seemed to be doing just fine with containing at least one Espada.

**.::.**

"Nnoitra, I don't think it's wise to be taking photographs."

"Are ya kiddin' ? I've been waitin' ta get this kinda dirt on that bastard for years! I'm never gonna let him live this down!"

"Ulquiorra's right you know." Nnoitra brought his camera down, sneering at Halibel. Not only did the fact that she was a woman with a higher rank annoy him, but lately she had been agreeing more often with Ulquiorra than she ever did when they were working. Maybe Ulquiorra had been talking more often? It sure seemed that way.

"Yeah? And how is that?" he asked, challenging her. She met him with a domineering stare.

"Grimmjow won't stay in that cell forever. Once he's out, he could try and kill you." Nnoitra laughed loudly.

"As if! If he really could kill me, he would have gotten out of his gigai and done the job already. Or at least he would have attempted to anyway. Ranks or not, I'm still stronger than him."

"I told you I can't !" Grimmjow yelled, his arm out between the bars in an attempt to strangle Nnoitra. The lanky man was unfortunately well out of his reach and continued to exploit the advantage with more pictures. "There's some stupid strange reiatsu in here that won't let me get outta my gigai!" Aporro blinked.

"Hm? Strange you say?" He walked forward towards the bars opposite of where Grimmjow stood and stuck a hand through them carefully. He held it there for a moment before withdrawing it back at his side. "He's right" he said, turning to look at the others that crowded the bench. "There's something wrong with this cell."

"No shit" Yami said. "It's got Grimmjow in it."

"Was that supposed to be a _joke_ ?" Grimmjow growled, gripping the bars tightly. "Once I get outta here, you won't have the rank to back that shit up!"

"Who says you'll be able to get out?"

"That's right Grimmjow ~ " Gin said in a sing song tone. There's nothing any of us can do to get you out. It would involve stepping in there with you, which would subsequently get us trapped in out gigai's as well. Likewise, if we were to get in without them, there would be no way we could get you out because you'd still be stuck in yours."

"Well is there any way you can become useful fer once and figure out why this cell has this stupid reiatsu?" Grimmjow muttered angrily. "I know it's not supposed ta be that way."

"Oh that's no mystery." Ichigo stood up from his relaxed position on the wall next to the bench, his arms crossed casually. He walked next to Aporro, his grin aggravating Grimmjow more than it probably should have. "I put it there."

"What ?"

"Would ya stop yelling already? I want to still be able to hear when I get home tonight."

"How the fuck did you manage do that? There's no way a brat like you could have done this on yer own !"

"That's because I didn't." Ichigo rolled his eyes, bringing down his arms. "I got help from that scientist that was following you in the park this afternoon. It was right after you guys told me I couldn't follow you back home until you got things 'sorted out'." Grimmjow gave him a blank look. "...the one you found me in the bush with."

"The guy with the horns I ran into? He's a Shinigami too?"

"You actually physically ran into him and you couldn't tell he was a Shinigami?" Aaroniero asked in disbelief. "How aloof are you?"

"Shut up! At least I'm not a walking fish bowl!"

"Ha! Says the dickhead who got his cover blown and is now behind bars he can't get out of ~"

"The only one who's gonna blow anything around here is yo-"

"Enough." The two stopped, turning to look at Ulquiorra. "Your bickering is going to get us nowhere."

"Tell me about it ..." Ichigo mumbled, rubbing his ear with his pinky. Ulquiorra turned to him next.

"Kurosaki" he said flatly, the one in question jumping a little from the stare. "How did you manage to trap Grimmjow?" The others, including Grimmjow, waited to hear an explanation. As happy as they collectively were that their most self destructive comrade was safely behind bars, the unknown technique intrigued them and they wanted to know how it worked. You know, for future reference. Nervous, Ichigo stuttered a bit, taking a few steps back.

"E-Er, well … you see, I don't really know the mechanics of it. I just knew how to set it up because of what that Scientist told me."

"What did he say?" Tousen asked.

"Um … well let's see ..." Ichigo took a moment to think, bringing his head down so he could at least attempt to get away from the stares. "He said … it was a device that would have a selected section of compressed Spiritual Pressure. Whoever would be in it would be immobilized. But you know … since it's you guys, they figured it would just keep you in a harmless state by trapping you in your gigai were you to step inside it."

"How did he know Grimmjow was gonna be in a cell ~ ?" Gin asked, frowning thoughtfully. Halibel shook her head.

"He didn't need to know; that type of device sounds like it could be used in any situation, confined or not. Grimmjow just happens to be conveniently stupid enough to have it be used right away."

"Hey!"

"Wow Grimmjow" Ichigo snickered. "I thought I was the only one around that hated your guts that much. Good to know my hobby isn't unique."

"Just wait until I get out." Grimmjow muttered darkly, glaring at all of them. "Yer all gonna be sorry."

"How cute ~ He's trying to threaten us ~" Nnoitra said in a sing song tone, resuming his photography.

"Don't get so cocky Nnoitra" Tousen reached over, swiping the camera from the taller Espada. "We're going to get him out. It would be a disservice to everyone in this prison to keep him in there."

"Tch, it'll be a bigger disservice to us if we do."

"Well if yer gonna get me out, go ahead and do it already!" Grimmjow looked around in his cell, sneering. "This place is givin' me a rash."

"We will come up with a way to get you out." Tousen continued. "For now, just sit and wait."

"Can I help ?" Ichigo suddenly blurted. Tousen stopped and quirked his eyebrow, causing Ichigo to shrink back a bit out of embarrassment.

"I suggest you stay out of this, Kurosaki. It will not do well for either of us if Soul Society learns of your efforts to aid us in any way. It's bad enough that they are aware of our presence here - " He shot Grimmjow an annoyed look. " - but we wish not to make it worse." Ichigo frowned, nodding.

"Yeah, okay. I get it."

He along with the rest of the group turned to leave, Grimmjow growling but nonetheless accepting the circumstances. Standing in place for a long while, Ichigo looked down at the ground. He could feel Grimmjow's eyes on him and eventually looked up to meet them. For once, he couldn't read the man's intentions. His eyes were blank almost, but held a sort of questioning look to them. His voice startled him.

"Well ?"

"Well what ?"

"Ya gonna get me out er what ?"

Ichigo scoffed. "The hell makes you think I'm gonna do anything ?" This time Grimmjow grinned, leaning his shoulder against the bars of the cell.

"I can see it on yer face. I know ya like me too much to keep me here ~" Blushing furiously, Ichigo turned away from him and quickly walked out of the room. Grimmjow could only look smug.

…

"I was hoping you could help me with something."

"Again?"

"Well yeah … I mean it's great you could help me before and I figured you were the best at getting people out of tight situations so …" Akon stopped typing, crossing his arms in curiosity.

"I'm listening." Ichigo fidgeted, trying to come up with the proper way to ask for help. He didn't want to come off as desperate or anything, but that pretty much was the only way to describe how he was right now. Of course he didn't have to be there to ask the man for anything. It was all on his accord and the Espada were smart enough to come up with a solution to the problem without him. So why was he even bothering helping them out? Swallowing his pride, he failed to notice his own face turn slightly pink before answering.

"Grimmjow's in jail, as you probably already know …"

"I do."

"And the others are trying to get him out of it …"

"Understandable."

"So … I was wondering if you could help me help them help him out of jail." Akon furrowed his brow, trying to dissect Ichigo's soft and heavily spaced words. Unfolding his arms, he rested his cheek against his knuckles.

"Did they ask for this help?"

"Well … not in those words exactly."

"If the others didn't ask for your help, I don't see why you're going through all this trouble to do things yourself. It's kind of the opposite of what Soul Society wants." Ichigo huffed, frowning. Even in his angry state, Ichigo took an extensive amount of time to find the least incriminating words that would hide any subconscious thoughts he wanted to hide from the older man.

Spoiler alert: He fails miserably.

"W –Well I mean … it's not like I'm doing it because I want him out. I just … think he would be better off not being in there by himself. N – Not that I want him to be around me either ! He has the other's for that and uh … yeah."

Akon tilted his head up a little after Ichigo's attempts at the English Language, grinning.

"Ah ~ I see. So the Shinigami has fallen for the enemy ~"

"It's not that!" Ichigo protested, growing a deeper shade of red. "I just don't want him to cause more trouble than he's worth!" The scientist shrugged, waving him off. Returning to his laptop, he began to type something unknown.

"Alright lover boy, I'll see what I can do for your boyfriend."

"SHUT UP!"

**.::.**

In what could only be described as a mass roofie, thanks to a highly concentrated dose of amnesia smoke (or whatever that bunny thing is called that Rukia used on Ichigo's family. Seriously, that thing doesn't have a name yet), the whole district of Japan had forgotten who Grimmjow was and what he had done and the world was right once more. That wasn't to say it was easy though. The man he had killed was still dead and leaving the crime scene as it had been, the evidence would still lead back to Grimmjow. So while the district was busy sleeping off its medically induced hangover, the other Espada painstakingly erased any evidence that could convict him; all done reluctantly of course.

Now, a week after everything had happened, the Espada visited the jail one last time, waiting for Grimmjow to emerge a free, albeit righteously accused, man. Collectively sitting in the jail wait area, they listening to the distant voices approach them from down the hall.

"The city deeply apologizes for this severe inconvenience …"

"Yer damn right ya do!"

"As promised, your reimbursement money will be sent to you over the course of the next year."

"Whatever dude. Just get yer shit together, a'ight?" Eyebrows slightly raised, the group watched Grimmjow round the corner and step into the room they were in, a rather small looking guard following him. He hadn't had time to change yet, so he sported the usual jailer jumpsuit. As expected, he had pushed the sleeves up to mimic his Espada uniform. He was far from happy when he started to hear the partially contained laughter. "Shut the hell up ! I didn't choose ta wear this god-awful thing !"

"Ya look like even more of a douche than you usually do ~" Aaroniero snorted. "And that's saying something." Grimmjow narrowed his eyes, but chose to take the high road. He would have a chance to murder the fishbowl later. Instead, he gritted his teeth and walked passed them to the exit. Eventually the other's followed him, their snickering trailing as well. After a while it died down, due to the lack of response they were getting from their teasing. Halfway home they stopped at a restaurant, allowing Grimmjow to fully change into his normal attire. But because he decided to light the jumpsuit on fire in the trashcan, they didn't have time to order any food before running like hell.

Eventually things quieted down and their slow walk resumed. They would have used Sonido to get back home, but something about the walk was comforting to them. It seemed more natural some how. Also it kept them from losing sight of Grimmjow.

"So what's on the agenda ?" Grimmjow asked, not bothering to hide the fact that he didn't give a shit. Ulquiorra pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, reading it.

"We have resorted to taking odd jobs every day, each of us responsible for picking at least one. Today it was Aporro's turn."

"So what did you get huh ?" Yami asked, not so gently nudging the smaller scientist. Aporro stumbled a bit, before regaining his footing and answering.

"It's a babysitting job."

Grimmjow moaned. "Aw what ? I don't wanna babysit kids !"

"Well you're going to do it and like it" Barragan grunted, glaring at him. "You got yer ass in jail. It's the least you deserve." The group unanimously agreed.

"Whatever ! How long is it for anyway ?"

"Just for tonight" Ulquiorra shrugged. "It shouldn't be that hard, even for you." Grimmjow rolled his eyes. Pissed off or not, he never backed down from a challenge.

"Just watch me."

**.::.**

A few hours later, the group found themselves at home, their company having already arrived. Ulquiorra found it strange that the men who delivered the children were wearing white lab coats, but decided that if the other's didn't notice, it probably wasn't that big a deal. Pushing aside that little detail, he fell into step with the others and looked after the children. Or at least, most of them did anyway.

"I don't wanna do this anymooooooooore…" Tousen's eye twitched, him slowly reaching his breaking point as Grimmjow's whiny tone broke through the partial silence once more. The blue haired Espada sat slumped in a chair, his cheek squished against his palm that partially supported it and his eyes half lidded. At his feet were two babies, both on their backs as they stared up at him dumbfounded.

"Stop complaining" Tousen said, almost as an order. "You have yet to contribute anything to this job." Grimmjow rolled his eyes, shifting positions to sit back in the chair.

"I fed them, didn't I?" he retorted, trying to defend himself. Next to Tousen was Halibel, trying to pry the hand of the baby she had off of her braid.

"You forgot to feed them and when we confronted you about it, you bullied Yami into doing it for you." Grimmjow scowled at her.

"It got done, didn't it ?"

"If you insist on not doing anything, I suggest you leave" she retorted, getting tired of the baby she had in her hand and placing it down on the blanket with the others. Scoffing, Grimmjow stood up and stepped over the babies to get out of the crowded room.

"Good riddance. You were quite annoying anyway." Everyone froze. The voice was distinct, but unrecognizable. Looking around, everyone tried to find the source of the voice, when it spoke again. "I'm right here on the floor, thank you very much." Slowly, they their attention to one of the babies on the floor, it's face set in a toothless grin.

A long silence followed, eventually broken by Grimmjow. "Is there a gas leak in here or did I just hear that kid talk?"

"Uh … I think it's a gas leak" Nnoitra tried to confirm. "Everyone knows little brats can't-"

"Talk?" They all jumped when the baby spoke again, this time it's judging stare directly on them. Sitting up on the pink rug, it stood up without effort and began to brush itself off casually. "Of course we can talk you idiotic buffoon. We were expected to form full sentences by the time we were a few hours old." Grimmjow and Nnoitra sneered at the baby, fists clenched.

"Well normal children aren't like you, Chucky! How did ya learn how ta talk?" Grimmjow barked. The baby raised a thin eyebrow at him before moving to dress itself with the clothes it found in the duffle bag close by.

"The strange thing is, I don't know. All I know is that is what is expected of us back home."

"What's home fer ya?" Nnoitra asked, snorting. "Planet Possessed?"

"It's a laboratory in England. Surely you know where that is, yes?" A long silence. The baby sighed, shaking its head. "No matter, those are only small details. We have come to destroy you and enslave the Human Race." This time, Ulquiorra scoffed.

"You're grossly underestimating who you're talking to" he replied, the others grinning around him. "We are not mere Humans."

"Any kind of offense you're planning couldn't possibly harm us" Halibel added, folding her arms across her chest. The baby puffed up its chest, trying to intimidate Gin who was approaching him to no avail. Crouching down to the baby's level, Gin smiled and poked its protruding stomach underneath corduroy overalls.

"That's right ~ Now why don't you be a good little baby and – gah!" Before Gin could finish his sentence, the baby snarled its teeth and jumped on the older man's head, latching itself on by gripping his hair in a death vice. Reeling back, Gin struggled to get the baby off him, all the while the others jumping from surprise. "Get off of me ya little bugger!" Tousen stepped forward this time, grabbing the baby by the head.

"Release him." He commanded, though the baby still held strong even after Tousen gave him a few good tugs. Getting frustrated, Grimmjow intervened, pushed Tousen out of the way and managed to pry the baby off Gin's head, throwing it across the room before it slammed into the wall and slid to the ground.

"Where the hell do ya get the nerve huh?" he demanded, Gin checking himself over behind him. "Do ya know who yer fuckin' with here?" After a second, the baby stood up unfazed and brushed itself off. He snorted.

"I don't think _you_ are aware of who you're dealing with." His gaze shifted to the area behind them. On cue, the other toddler on the blankets began to rise to their feet and hover gently, eyes aglow and teeth barred. As the Espada turned to face them in order to take in the horror of what was about to become World War III in their house, Grimmjow was able to sum up their pants shitting crisis in one word before all hell broke loose.

"Fuck."


End file.
